The Penis Project Podcast: Breaking Taboos in Men’s Sexual Health

In this episode of The Penis Project Podcast, Melissa sits down with Don and Clare, a couple who have lived through the messy, emotional and often under discussed reality of prostate cancer recovery. Don was diagnosed just before his 65th birthday after his PSA rose from around 4 to over 9. A biopsy showed aggressive Gleason 9 prostate cancer, and within six weeks his prostate was removed. His PSA is now undetectable, which is the result everyone hopes for. But, as Don and Clare explain, being “cancer-free” did not mean life went back to normal. After surgery, Don experienced severe ongoing urinary incontinence. Despite doing all the pelvic floor exercises and following instructions, he was still incontinent 18 months later. Eventually, after further review, he was referred for an artificial urinary sphincter, which has made a huge difference to his quality of life. This episode is about more than leakage, pads, clips and surgery. It is about what happens when a man feels lost in the medical system. It is about the emotional toll of prostate cancer on both partners. It is about the importance of honesty, asking questions, changing teams if needed, and remembering that there is a person attached to the prostate. In This Episode, We Cover: The emotional impact of severe urinary leakage Why pelvic floor exercises do not fix every case of incontinence What can be done when continence doesn’t recover Clare’s perspective as a partner watching Don struggle How hormone therapy affected Don’s mood, personality and relationship The importance of being told the full picture, not just the “curative” plan Why some men need an artificial urinary sphincter The importance of second opinions and finding a team that sees the whole person Why prostate cancer recovery is a couple’s issue, not just a man’s issue Key Takeaway: An undetectable PSA is wonderful, but it is not the whole story; quality of life matters. Key message from Don and Clare: People need honest information. Don and Clare do not regret the cancer treatment. Don says the surgery likely saved his life. But they both wish they had been told earlier that his continence recovery was unlikely to happen without further intervention. Clare explains that people may not want bad news, but they do want the truth. That truth gives people options. It helps them plan. It helps them understand that they are not failing. And it can prevent months, or even years, of unnecessary suffering. Resources & Links: Book a telehealth consult with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com.au Listen & Subscribe If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! Your feedback helps us continue bringing important conversations to light. Search for The Penis Project Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite podcast app. Connect With Us We love hearing from real people navigating penile health. If you’d like to share your journey or ask a question, get in touch. Email: admin@melissahadleybarrett.com Websites: https://rshealth.com.au/ All genders https://makehardeasy.com.au https://melissahadleybarrett.com http://prost.com.au/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/ https://www.instagram.com/restorativehealth.clinic/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@melissahadleybarrett TikTok: @melissahadleybarrett Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/p/Melissa-Hadley-Barrett-100085237672685/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100085146627814 Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-hadley-barrett/ TEDX https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjHj1YTmLoA

In this special Christmas edition of The Penis Project Podcast, Melissa is joined by members of the Restorative Health Clinic team for a candid, funny, and surprisingly heartfelt look back at the year that was. From awkward inbox messages and clinic mishaps to deeply meaningful patient moments, the team reflects on what it’s really like working in men’s sexual health — a space where humour, vulnerability, trust, and life-changing conversations collide every day. This episode is part thank-you, part behind-the-scenes, and part reminder that sexual health work is serious — but laughter matters too. Key Takeaways Men’s sexual health is about much more than erections — it’s about confidence, connection, and quality of life Trust takes time, but once it’s built, men open up in powerful ways Porn has skewed expectations — most penises are completely normal You don’t need to have a penis to understand men’s sexual health — listening matters more A good clinic culture blends professionalism, compassion… and humour Clinic Updates & Announcements New clinic location: Icon Cancer Centre, Midland Expanded support for men post-radiation (prostate, bladder, colorectal cancer) Telehealth services now supporting rural, remote, interstate, and overseas patients Upcoming training & conferences: International Society of Sexual Medicine (Porto, Portugal) Advanced Botox training for penile health applications Christmas closure: 19th December- 12th January Resources & Links: Book a telehealth consult with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com Listen & Subscribe If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! Your feedback helps us continue bringing important conversations to light. Search for The Penis Project Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite podcast app. Connect With Us We love hearing from real people, navigating penile health. If you’d like to share your journey or ask a question, get in touch. Email: admin@rshealth.com.au Websites: https://rshealth.com.au/ All genders https://makehardeasy.com.au https://melissahadleybarrett.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/ https://www.instagram.com/restorativehealth.clinic/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@melissahadleybarrett TikTok: @melissahadleybarrett Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/p/Melissa-Hadley-Barrett-100085237672685/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100085146627814 Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-hadley-barrett/ TEDX: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjHj1YTmLoA

In this deeply human episode of The Penis Project podcast, Melissa sits down with former NRL legend and now men's mentor Ryan Girdler, whose life after professional football has taken an unexpected and transformative turn. Ryan talks candidly about growing up in a blue-collar household in the 70s, the pressures of masculinity, and how being driven hard as a child shaped his identity. He reflects on his footy career, the unspoken expectations to “be tough,” and how those patterns carried over into life after retirement—leading him to overwork, burnout, and eventually, a total personal reset. Through meditation, breathwork, and support from his wife, Ryan found a new path. Today, he mentors men through profound emotional, physical, and spiritual work, helping them reconnect with themselves, develop healthier expressions of masculinity, and live with more balance, softness, and purpose. This conversation goes far beyond sport. Ryan opens up about parenting, vulnerability, inner dialogue, relationships, and why so many men feel lost in today’s world. He also explores his work with Reconnected Men, breathwork retreats, and his partnership with the enigmatic healer, Imrah, known to many as “the alchemist.” This Episode, We Cover: Ryan’s early life & sporting beginnings Growing up under pressure in a hardworking family and feeling driven to please others How internal and external expectations pushed him into rugby league The emotional impact of a “boys don’t cry” upbringing Masculinity, identity & the struggles men face today Why modern masculinity feels confusing—and why “toxic masculinity” breaks Ryan’s heart The lack of healthy male role models Balancing discipline with vulnerability Why many men feel they must fix everything rather than be present Life after professional sport Losing identity and purpose at 30 Overworking to fill a void—“trying to beat yoga at yoga” How breathwork and meditation became lifesaving tools The profound influence of his wife in redirecting his path Breathwork, nervous system regulation & healing Ryan’s introduction to meditation through a big wave surfer Using pranayama as the “cheat code” to stillness How breathwork helped him “wield the mind” rather than be controlled by it Why he believes every man should experience nervous-system regulation Reconnected Men & the work he does now One-day and three-day men’s retreats in Queensland and Sydney Holotropic/transformational breathwork sessions Corporate breathwork and team integration sessions His mentoring program combining discipline, stillness, personal story, and emotional growth The story of Imrah – “the alchemist” How Ryan reconnected with Imrah after 25 years Imrah’s unusual upbringing in the Pilbara and his unique abilities Their partnership in retreats and breathwork events Why I have named Ryan “the conduit” Parenting, relationships & emotional presence Raising daughters with boundaries, connection, and regulated technology use Letting go of control in relationships How softness, listening, and heart-led responses change family dynamics Ryan’s message to men "You don’t always have to be in control. And you don't have to do it on your own." Key Takeaways: Masculinity isn’t the problem—disconnection is. Men thrive when they learn discipline and vulnerability. Breathwork, meditation, and nervous system tools can fundamentally shift a man’s internal world. Healing begins with self-awareness, not fixing others. You can be strong and gentle at the same time—and your family will feel the difference. Sometimes your partner sees your path before you do. Life after high-performance sport requires finding new meaning, not new metrics to “win.” Connect with Ryan Girdler & Reconnected Men Reconnected Men (retreats & programs): https://www.reconnectedmen.com Instagram: @ryangirdler Transformation

In this episode of The Penis Project Podcast, Melissa reconnects with Mike and Shirley from the USA, who first joined us back in 2023. Now celebrating an incredible 48 years of marriage, they share how life, love, and sex have evolved nearly four years after Mike’s prostate cancer surgery. Together, they open up about recovery, resilience, and rediscovering intimacy after cancer — proving that sexual function and emotional connection can keep improving long past the two-year mark many men are told is the “limit”. Their journey is one of teamwork, trust, and trying everything from pumps to performance rings to injections — the famous “four Ps” as coined by Mike: Pills, Pump, Puncture, and Performance Ring. Key Takeaways: Recovery doesn’t stop at two years. Erections and sensation can continue to improve with regular therapy and effort. Devices aren’t kinky — they’re medical tools. Pumps, rings, and injections all have a role in penile rehabilitation. Partner support changes everything. Involving both people in the journey helps reduce shame and increases success. Hope is powerful. With the right approach, couples can enjoy a “new normal” that’s deeply satisfying and connected. Sex is more than orgasm. Connection, laughter, and closeness are what really matter. Expert Insight from Melissa Hadley Barrett “Just like you wouldn’t skip physio after a hip replacement, penile rehabilitation after prostate surgery takes consistent effort. Devices like vacuum pumps, injections, and rings aren’t gimmicks — they’re proven ways to restore blood flow, preserve function, and build confidence. Mike and Shirley’s story shows what’s possible when couples stay curious, keep communicating, and don’t give up.” Resources & Links: Book a telehealth consult with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com Listen & Subscribe If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! Your feedback helps us continue bringing important conversations to light. Search for The Penis Project Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite podcast app. Connect With Us We love hearing from real people, navigating penile health. If you’d like to share your journey or ask a question, get in touch. Email: admin@rshealth.com.au Websites: https://rshealth.com.au/ All genders https://makehardeasy.com.au Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/ https://www.instagram.com/restorativehealth.clinic/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@melissahadleybarrett TikTok: @melissahadleybarrett Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/p/Melissa-Hadley-Barrett-100085237672685/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100085146627814 Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-hadley-barrett/ TEDX: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjHj1YTmLoA

In this Episode which marks the 5th anniversary of the Penis Project Podcast, Kate and Melissa, practitioners from Restorative Health Clinic talk to Kirk (59), who shares his very recent journey with prostate cancer — from vigilant PSA screening due to a strong family history, through biopsy and robotic prostatectomy(Gleason 9), to an unusually swift return of continence and erections (yes, really… at 5 weeks!). We chat about why a good GP relationship matters, common myths (no, PSA screening is not a finger-up-the-bum), and practical rehab steps that set you up for the best outcome. We also touch on the challenges recent Medicare telehealth changes pose for rural men and why community conversations save lives. Key Takeaways: PSA screening saves lives: It’s a blood test. Many men still believe screening means a rectal exam — that misconception stops blokes from testing. Early and regular checks matter, especially with family history. Kirk and his GP were “on it,” which likely changed his trajectory. Rehab starts before surgery: Pre-op pelvic floor coaching and early, structured penile rehab support faster continence and sexual recovery. Expectations matter: Being clear about how important sex is to you helps the team tailor a plan (medications, devices, or injections) so intimacy continues post-treatment. Modern prostate cancer care is not what it was 20 years ago — minimally invasive surgery, targeted radiation, and better side-effect profiles. Episode Highlights Family history matters: Kirk, a 59-year-old anaesthetist, always knew prostate cancer was a “when, not if.” Vigilant PSA screening caught it early. PSA test = blood test: Many men still mistakenly think screening means a rectal exam — this myth stops blokes from testing. Gleason upgrade: Biopsy showed 7, but post-surgery pathology was 9 — reinforcing why early surgery was lifesaving. GPs are gold: A trusted GP relationship ensures timely checks and continuity of care. Rehab starts before surgery: Pelvic floor exercises and penile rehab education gave Kirk the best start. Fast recovery: At 5 weeks post-op, Kirk is dry, pad-free, and already regaining erectile function with support strategies. Community conversations: Kirk shared his diagnosis with ice-hockey teammates — most had no idea PSA was just a blood test. Rural barriers: Medicare telehealth changes risk limiting access for country men as of November 1st 2025 — highlighting the importance of policy that supports remote care. Positive outlook: Kirk’s story proves recovery can be quicker than many expect, and modern treatments offer far better outcomes than in the past. Take-home message: Don’t wait for symptoms — get your PSA blood test done and talk to your mates about it. Shareable quotes “Good news — PSA screening is a blood test. That’s it.” “Pre-hab matters: start pelvic floor and penile rehab before surgery.” “Sex after prostate cancer is absolutely possible — the toolkit is bigger and better than ever.” “Men will talk footy all day — let’s talk our health the same way.” Resources & Links: Book a telehealth consult with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com Listen & Subscribe If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! Your feedback helps us continue bringing important conversations to light. Search for The Penis Project Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite podcast app. Connect With Us We love hearing from real people, navigating penile health. If you’d like to share your journey or ask a question, get in touch. Email: admin@rshealth.com.au Websites: https://rshealth.com.au/ All genders https://makehardeasy.com.au https://melissahadleybarrett.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/

In this raw and refreshingly honest episode of The Penis Project podcast, Melissa chats with Mitch—a 21-year-old who opens up about his journey with primary premature ejaculation (PE). From rural farm life and open family chats to medication mishaps and sexual self-esteem struggles, Mitch shares his experience with warmth and humour. Mitch talks about: Growing up with PE and its emotional toll Navigating sexual intimacy and relationships as a young man His experience with online men’s health services like Pilot The turning point that led him to seek help at Restorative Health Clinic Finding the right treatment—and relief—through personalised care This episode is a must-listen for any man who's felt alone with PE, and for partners or parents who want to better understand the experience from a younger male’s perspective. In This Episode, We Cover: What it’s like living with lifelong (primary) premature ejaculation How a father’s prostate cancer treatment led to a cheeky encounter with penile injections—and eventually helped Mitch seek help The cost, pros and cons of online health platforms like Pilot Why in-person or telehealth consults with a practitioner can make all the difference The emotional impact of PE: shame, self-doubt, and how it affects confidence in and out of the bedroom The power of humour and honesty in breaking sexual health stigma Key Takeaways: PE can affect men of all ages—including young blokes—and it’s more common than you think. Medication isn’t one-size-fits-all. Finding the right dose and drug with a skilled clinician can be life-changing. Open conversations with family, partners, and mates can reduce shame and build resilience. Telehealth can be a more accessible, cost-effective way to get specialist support—especially in rural areas. Tackling PE early builds long-term sexual confidence and can improve relationships. Expert Insight from Melissa Hadley Barrett: Premature ejaculation can feel devastating for men, but it’s both common and treatable. We see men every day at Restorative Health Clinic who’ve been told to “just relax” or “it’ll go away with age,” but that doesn’t always happen. Treatment is individual and may include: Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) Behavioural therapy Mindfulness and arousal control strategies Support for partners to reduce pressure and enhance intimacy Every man deserves to enjoy sex without anxiety—and we’re here to help you do just that. Resources & Links: Book a telehealth consult with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com.au Listen & Subscribe If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! Your feedback helps us continue bringing important conversations to light. Search for The Penis Project podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite podcast app. Connect With Us We love hearing from real people navigating penile health. If you’d like to share your journey or ask a question, get in touch. Email: admin@melissahadleybarrett.com Websites: https://rshealth.com.au/ All genders https://makehardeasy.com.au https://melissahadleybarrett.com http://prost.com.au/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/ https://www.instagram.com/restorativehealth.clinic/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@melissahadleybarrett TikTok: @melissahadleybarrett Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/p/Melissa-Hadley-Barrett-100085237672685/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100085146627814 Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-hadley-barrett/ TEDX https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjHj1YTmLoA

In this milestone 200th episode, the tables are turned as Dr Amy Pearlman interviews The Penis Project's own Melissa Hadley Barrett. From wet hair and time zone mix-ups to powerful patient stories and favourite sex toys, this episode is a heartwarming, hilarious, and deeply honest look into what Melissa has learned after 200 interviews about penises, pleasure, relationships, and recovery. Amy has been a popular guest on The Penis Project and a friend and colleague to Melissa over the past few years and for something different the tables have turned, and Amy is interviewing Melissa to see what she has learnt being a part of The Penis Project community for 200 episodes and just under 5 years of posting. On the 14th of September the Penis Project will have been live for 5 years. This may not seem like a long time for most people but for Melissa it has been huge. Keeping the interviews coming and arranging editing and show notes etc. whilst running a busy growing practice has been hard but worth it, and she has learnt way more from her patients and interviewees than she thought possible. Together, Melissa and Amy explore: How a podcast that began during COVID lockdowns with Melissa and Dr Jo Milios (Physiotherapist) and then without realising became a global resource for men’s health Why it’s time to stop joking about penises and start listening The emotional side of male sexuality and how assumptions miss the mark What men really want after prostate cancer (hint: it isn’t just erections) How patients have reshaped Melissa’s clinical approach over time Products that have changed lives—and a few that scared her husband New conversations about sounding, Tantra, and intimacy beyond intercourse What Melissa hopes to do with the next 200 episodes—and who she dreams she will interview next and her dream to be interviewed by…. In This Episode, We Cover: How the podcast began as a way to help patients and became so much more Learning from patients about loss, masculinity, and connection Rethinking the urgency of "getting it up" and embracing broader definitions of intimacy The importance of not making assumptions as clinicians Sex toys and tools Melissa now recommends—and the ones she avoids What a Tantra workshop has taught her about relationships Sounding: safety, stigma, and why we need to talk about it The power of podcasts to create change and community connection Key Takeaways: Empathy, humour and curiosity matter more than bravado Real stories help others feel seen, supported, and less alone Sexual health is about connection, not just erections There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but there is always a way forward Expert Insight from Melissa Hadley Barrett: "My goal is to open up the conversation. Whether it’s about erectile dysfunction, sex after cancer, or pleasure in new ways. Men and their partners deserve honest support and practical options. This podcast has become my passion project, and it’s changed how I practice. Most of all I want to thank the people who have let us interview them for sharing stories and teaching me so much I could never have learnt from a book or another health professional. I hope my patients and listeners realise how important they are to me, my growth as a human and as a health professional." Useful Mentions: FirmTech erection ring ("Fitbit for your dick")https://rshealth.com.au/shop/p/firmtech-techring , Manta by The Fun Factory https://rshealth.com.au/shop/p/fun-factory-manta-deep-sea-blue VaxAid pump – TGA approved hydro pump for ED Tantra retreats by Sanctuary of Ananda Beaming Beaver organic lubricant My Ilo Australian-designed sex toys Steve "The Poet Who Didn't Know It" and his book Words Woke Me Resources & Links: Book a telehealth consult with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.m

In this episode of The Penis Project Podcast, Nurse Practitioner and Sexologist Melissa Hadley Barrett chats with Mish Middelmann — a prostate cancer survivor, men’s leadership coach, and founder of The Recovering Man. Mish is also the author of a book about sex beyond erections, called Beyond Erections - reclaiming sexual pleasure and intimacy with erectile differences. Diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2019, Mish shares his raw and insightful journey of treatment, recovery, and rebuilding life as a man post-cancer. From Johannesburg to Canada, his story spans continents and emotions — and ultimately, his experience led him to create a space for other men navigating the often-silent challenges of prostate cancer recovery. Mish now supports men and their partners through personalised coaching, offering emotional guidance, tools for self-reinvention, and a path toward rediscovering identity and intimacy. He also speaks about the recent release of his book — including why the original title sparked controversy and was later renamed. In This Episode, We Cover: Mish’s prostate cancer diagnosis and the decisions he faced The physical and psychological recovery process after treatment How prostate cancer affects male identity, sexuality, and relationships The importance of support networks for both men and their partners His work as a men’s health coach and the creation of The Recovering Man The evolving conversation around masculinity, vulnerability, and healing Insights from his newly released book on finding sexual pleasure without relying on hard erections. Key Takeaways: Life after prostate cancer is about more than just surviving — it’s about reclaiming who you are. Mish encourages men to explore healing not only of the body but also of self-image, connection, and purpose. Resources & Links: Book a confidential consult, in clinic or on telehealth, with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com.au Visit The Recovering Man: https://www.recoveringman.net/ – Coaching, articles, and resources for men navigating life after prostate cancer. Book by Mish Middelmann: Beyond Erections available as paperback or eBook. Details at www.beyonderections.com/book. Learn more about men’s sexual health services: www.rshealth.com.au Listen & Subscribe If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to follow, subscribe to the podcast and help us reach more men by rating and reviewing the show. Because penile health matters — and it’s time we talked about it. Connect With Us We love hearing from real people navigating penile health—just like Mish. If you’d like to share your journey or ask a question, get in touch. Email: admin@melissahadleybarrett.com Website: www.rshealth.com.au Websites: https://rshealth.com.au/ All genders https://makehardeasy.com.au https://melissahadleybarrett.com http://prost.com.au/ Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/p/Melissa-Hadley-Barrett-100085237672685/ https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100085146627814 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/ https://www.instagram.com/restorativehealth.clinic/ TikTok: @melissahadleybarrett YouTube: Melissa Hadley Barrett Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-hadley-barrett/ TEDX https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjHj1YTmLoA