Pillow Talks

So we're back with Part 3 of What Do Women Really Think About…?, giving you the honest answers women don't always say out loud. From the mental load to mirror selfies, nothing’s off limits. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: Whether women actually want a "book boyfriend," or if that fantasy is better left on the page? The real deal on mental load: is it running in the background every single day? Cum on the face: hot, not, or total depends? We give you the honest answer. Dick pics and mirror selfies: what reads as sexy vs what gets an instant delete? Blowjobs before a shower: the candid take you've been too shy to ask about. Why women open up to their friends about their sex lives so freely? Getting finished with hands or fingers: thoughtful move, or last-ditch effort? Here's the thing: the questions that feel embarrassing to ask are usually the ones everyone else is secretly wondering too. You're not weird for being curious. You're just paying attention. 🍆 Ready to be the best they've ever had? The Ultimate Foreplay Guides are our step-by-step guides to using your hands and mouth on your partner in ways that will blow their mind. Clear, no-guesswork techniques for fingering, oral, handjobs, and blow jobs. Separate guides for vulvas and penises, so you know exactly what to do. Built to take you from unsure to genuinely confident. Perfect if today's questions left you wanting to level up. 👉🏻 Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay 💛 Stay Connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow 👏Thanks StoryWorth. This year, give Dad a gift that captures who he really is, before the stories get harder to remember. Father's day is Sunday, June21st. Order RIGHT NOW and save up to $20. ➡︎https://storyworth.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cure. Not all hydration is created equal. Cure does it right with simple, clead ingredients and flavors worth reaching for all summer long. Use the code PILLOWTALKS for 20% off. Find Cure now at target this summer! Real ingredients. Real Hydration. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOWTALKS 👏Thanks Remi. Protect your teeth with Remi by using code PILLOW to get 50% off your new night guard with Remi Club Subscribe & Save. ➡︎https://shopremi.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lately, we’ve been hearing from so many of you in our DMs. People are telling us they feel guilty wanting pleasure. Ashamed for craving closeness. Disconnected from their bodies and their partners because the world feels overwhelming, violent, and unstable. Others have told us they know their relationship matters, but caring about their sex life feels hard when so much is happening globally. Many of you feel less present, less motivated, and more anxious, and it’s showing up directly in your connection. In today’s episode, we’re talking about what to do when the weight of the world makes intimacy feel impossible. This conversation is not about ignoring reality. It’s about learning how to stay grounded, emotionally available, and connected so you can actually show up for your life, your values, and your relationship. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: How constant exposure to distressing news and social media keeps your nervous system stuck in survival mode. Why stress and anxiety don’t just affect your mood, but directly impact desire, arousal, and presence. The moral pressure many people feel to put their relationship on pause during hard times. Holding awareness of the world while still caring for your relationship. How physical connection helps regulate your nervous system and bring you back into your body. Simple ways to shift from overwhelm to meaningful, local connection and action. Practical rituals for staying connected when everything feels heavy. Why staying close to your partner can actually make you more effective and resilient. If you’ve been wondering how to care about your relationship when things feel dark or hopeless, this episode is for you. 🔗 Links & Resources ✨ Your relationship called. It wants a little more… fun. The Spark is our monthly cheat code for connection + intimacy. Connection questions, date nights, and a new position to try — delivered fresh every month for just $9! 👉🏻 Get your Spark back here: http://vmtherapy.com/spark Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Cure. Staying hydrated isn't just about water - you also need electrolytes. That's why we love Cure. It's clean and tastes great! Real ingredients. Real hydration. You can grab Cure on Amazon or find a store near you. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If the thought of scheduling sex makes you cringe a little… we get that a lot. You might be thinking.. “Ugh. That’s so unromantic.” or… “NOT hot.” or… “If we have to schedule it, something must be wrong with our relationship.” We’re here to today to give you our hot take on our favorite controversial relationship topic. And yes… we’re going to try to change your mind. In this episode, we’re breaking down the biggest myths about scheduling sex, what scheduled intimacy really means (and doesn’t mean), and the practical ways to make it feel exciting instead of like something else on your to-do list. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: Why “spontaneous sex” is one of the biggest myths we buy into. How scheduling sex can actually reduce stress, pressure, and anxiety. What scheduling can do for couples with mismatched desire (especially responsive desire). Why having sex earlier in the evening can completely change your sex life. How to build anticipation without feeling awkward or forced. The “bare minimum” approach that makes sex dates feel doable (even on low-energy days). Why taking turns leading sex dates helps both partners feel cared for. The simple mindset shift that turns scheduling sex into something you look forward to. Spoiler: scheduling sex doesn’t replace spontaneity. For many couples, it actually creates more of it. 🔗 Links & Resources ✨ The Spark… because a little spark goes a long way We just launched a $9/month digital drop for couples who want to stay connected, curious, and very into each other — without overthinking it. Sweet dates. Spicy dates. Conversation starters. One new position each month. It’s kind of a no-brainer. 👉 Check out The Spark right here : vmtherapy.com/spark Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR ========================== 👏Thanks Cure. Staying hydrated isn't just about water - you also need electrolytes. That's why we love Cure. It's clean and tastes great! Real ingredients. Real hydration. You can grab Cure on Amazon or find a store near you. ➡︎https://curehydration.com/PILLOW Use code PILLOWTALKS at checkout to get 10% discount. ➡︎https://vmtherapy.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Penis performance issues are way more common than most people realize… and way more misunderstood than they need to be. Today’s episode came straight from your questions — from trouble getting or keeping an erection, to finishing too quickly (or not at all), to the stress, shame, and “what does this mean about us?” thoughts that sneak in — we’re breaking it all down. This episode is about understanding what’s happening, supporting your partner with compassion, and learning how to navigate these moments in a way that brings you closer — not further apart. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: What commonly causes penis performance issues — and why it’s rarely just one thing. Whether long-term porn use can affect erection quality or performance. If masturbating “too often” can actually create problems. How stress, anxiety, and aging can impact erections (and why it’s not a personal failure). The connection between low testosterone and ED — and how to navigate it when a partner refuses treatment. Whether circumcision has any link to penis performance issues. How to bring up concerns about ED with a partner who doesn’t seem to recognize there’s an issue. What these challenges mean emotionally — and what they don’t say about attraction, masculinity, or your relationship. How to approach the conversation with compassion instead of pressure or panic. 🔗 Links + Resources🔥 The Ultimate Foreplay Guides Taking the pressure off intercourse can help a lot. The Ultimate Foreplay Guides help couples expand what counts as sex, reduce performance anxiety, and build pleasure and connection (without relying on erections to lead the way). It’s our #1 best-selling and best-reviewed guide for a reason. Click right here 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay ❤️ Ready to reconnect? Take our free Intimacy Quiz to uncover what’s missing (and how to get it back). Discover your intimacy type and get personalized tools to help you communicate better, desire more, and feel closer than ever. 👉 Take the quiz now and unlock your results: https://vmtherapy.com/5keys Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Cure. Staying hydrated isn't just about water - you also need electrolytes. That's why we love Cure. It's clean and tastes great! Real ingredients. Real hydration. You can grab Cure on Amazon or find a store near you. ➡︎https:www.curehydration.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s officially that time of year when the New Year buzz is everywhere. Your feeds are full of fitness goals, habit resets, and “new year, new me” energy. And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel healthier or build new routines, this season also tends to stir up a lot of feelings about our bodies… especially when it comes to intimacy. So today, we’re bringing back one of our most popular episodes ever — a conversation all about feeling confident in your own skin during sex. Whether you’re riding high on fresh-start motivation or feeling a little self-conscious with all the “improvement” talk around you, this one is your reminder that real confidence has nothing to do with the number on a scale or the size of your jeans. In this re-air, we’re breaking down the actual tools and mindset shifts that help you feel present in your body, enjoy intimacy, and connect with your partner from a grounded, self-affirming place. Because you deserve to feel good in the body you have right now. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: Why body confidence matters so much during intimacy How cultural conditioning shapes the way we see our bodies in the bedroom The most common body-related worries couples bring into sex Simple mindset reframes that actually help you feel more confident Practical tips for staying present instead of spiraling into self-criticism How to talk to your partner about body insecurity (without killing the mood) If you’re in a season where your relationship with your body feels complicated, you’re not alone. We hope this episode helps you feel a little more at home, a little more grounded, and a little more connected — to yourself and your partner. ❤️ Ready to reconnect? Take our free Intimacy Quiz to uncover what’s missing (and how to get it back). Discover your intimacy type and get personalized tools to help you communicate better, desire more, and feel closer than ever. 👉 Take the quiz now and unlock your results: https://vmtherapy.com/5keys Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first box of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOWTALKS to get up to 20% off.And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, make sure to let them know you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices