Feeling lonely in your relationship? Ask Marie

Feeling lonely in your relationship? Ask Marie

From This Complex Life by Marie Vakakis

May 21, 2026 · 30 min · Episode 108

About this episode

Marie Vakakis discusses the complexities of feeling lonely in a relationship and offers insights on how to address it.

Feeling lonely in a relationship even a good one? This is one of the most common things I hear in therapy, and one of the hardest feelings to name. You're in a relationship with someone you love. Nothing dramatic is wrong, there's no big fight, no obvious reason and most of the time you feel lonely. That's the Ask Marie question this episode answers, and it's one of the most common things I hear across both individual and couples therapy. In this episode I talk about what relational loneliness actually is, how it develops, why it's so hard to name, and what to do with it. What this episode covers What it means to feel lonely in the presence of someone who loves you, and why it's more common than most people feel permitted to say out loud The difference between being alone and feeling lonely, and why relational loneliness is often more painful How loneliness in a relationship develops gradually through small missed moments of connection rather than one dramatic event The Gottman concepts of turning towards and turning away, and how missed bids for connection accumulate over time How conflict style contributes to loneliness: when sharing something doesn't land well, we quietly stop…

People in this episode

Host: Marie Vakakis

Topics covered

  • relational loneliness
  • communication in relationships
  • emotional connection
  • therapy insights
  • conflict styles
  • Gottman concepts

Keywords

  • loneliness
  • relationships
  • therapy
  • connection
  • Gottman
  • communication
  • emotional health

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