The Fawn Response: What It Is and how to change it

The Fawn Response: What It Is and how to change it

From This Complex Life by Marie Vakakis

April 27, 2026 · 39 min · Episode 106

About this episode

This episode explores the fawn response, its origins, and how to change it for better mental health and self-awareness.

If you've ever agreed to something and immediately regretted it, apologised for something that wasn't your fault, or changed your opinion halfway through a conversation just to keep the peace, this episode is for you. The fawn response is one of the least understood nervous system patterns and one of the most invisible. It looks like being easygoing, warm and accommodating. From the outside it can be indistinguishable from kindness. The cost of it is paid quietly, and over time. What this episode covers What the fawn response is and how it sits alongside fight, flight and freeze as a distinct nervous system pattern The research behind it including Pete Walker's clinical work and what polyvagal theory adds to our understanding How fawning shows up day to day: constant apologising, abandoning your opinions mid-conversation, shape shifting between social groups, and checking behaviours in relationships Why fawning gets mistaken for being a good person and how it gets culturally rewarded, particularly for women Where the fawn response comes from and why it almost always starts in childhood What fawning is actually costing you: chronic low-level resentment, disconnection, and a…

People in this episode

Host: Marie Vakakis

Topics covered

  • fawn response
  • nervous system patterns
  • mental health
  • self improvement
  • childhood trauma
  • kindness vs fawning

Keywords

  • fawn response
  • nervous system
  • polyvagal theory
  • chronic resentment
  • self identity
  • kindness
  • trauma response

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