A Bit of Optimism

If you’ve ever dabbled in looking into how to extend your life, your social media feed might be inundated with the “hottest” longevity trends: from cold plunges to VO2 max tests to celebrity-endorsed supplements. As a society, we are obsessed with the idea of living longer. And longevity has become a multi-billion dollar industry where everyone’s trying to sell you their secret to a longer life. But if you meet the people leading that movement, you start to ask yourself “are they even happy?” If we’re all trying to live all these extra years, we should also make sure we genuinely enjoy them. That’s why I wanted to talk to Dr. Kerry Burnight about how we age. Known as “America’s Gerontologist”, she specializes in the mental, physical, and social aspects of aging. Kerry has spent two decades as a professor of geratric medicine, and co-founded the nation’s first elder abuse forensic center, where she saw older people isolated, exploited, and suffering. After years of arriving after the damage was done, she started asking a different question: what would prevent that suffering in the first place? Kerry’s answer is a concept she calls “Joyspan,” which is also the title of her New York Times bestseller Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half. Her work reframes how we think about our long lives: not as a problem to solve by suppressing the aging process, but as a chance to grow with age and build a life with intention and joy. In this episode you’ll learn: ➡️ Why the longevity movement lost its way (in a word: humility) ➡️ How Kerry’s mom changed her outlook on life in her late 70s, and is thriving at nearly 98 ➡️ Three questions you should ask yourself every birthday ➡️ Why we should stop “growing older” and start “growing with age” ➡️ The one sentence that helps you find something good even when things are hard ➡️ How to help someone who’s stuck, without just commiserating ➡️ Why friendship might be “the Ozempic of longevity” ➡️ The four practices of people who are still loving life at 100 This conversation isn’t about rejecting the gym or the green vegetables – you should take care of your body too! But the parts of life that make it worth living are often difficult to assign a metric. They take work too. And it’s never too early (or too late) to start. This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + To get a copy of Kerry’s book, Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life's Second Half, head to: https://www.drkerryburnight.com/#joyspan + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 Dedicating Your Life to Helping Others Age 00:00:43 Beyond Lifespan and Healthspan: Introducing Joyspan 00:02:20 Why the Longevity Movement Lost Its Way 00:03:13 From Elder Abuse to Prevention: A Gerontologist's Journey 00:04:45 How the Longevity Movement Lost Its Way 00:10:40 Introducing JoySpan: The Missing Piece of Longevity 00:13:48 The Chocolate Cake Principle: When Worry Is Worse Than the Thing 00:16:59 What Funerals Teach Us About What Actually Matters 00:18:20 The AGE Framework: Three Questions to Ask Yourself Every Birthday 00:21:25 Why the Intangibles Matter More Than Metrics 00:26:42 Growing With Age, Not Growing Older 00:32:30 Pain Isn't a Mistake: Why We Need to Stop Vilifying Struggle 00:32:45 Finding the Gift in Every Hardship 00:47:20 The Third Leg of the Stool: Friendship as Longevity Medicine 00:52:30 How to Talk to Young People About Aging (And Why Quality of Life Is the Key) 00:57:08 Four Practices for a High-Quality Life at Any Age 00:57:56 Redefining What It Means to Be Old + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek + + + #SimonSinek + + +

Hello from Team Simon! We’re taking a few weeks off and will be back with brand-new episodes of A Bit of Optimism on Tuesday, October 27. Until then, we’re revisiting some of our favorite conversations, including this one with a longtime friend of Simon’s: Esther Perel. For most of history, we stayed in marriages and jobs because we had to. Happiness was a nice bonus. Today we get to choose who we love and where we work, so happiness has become the glue that holds it all together. Few people have watched that shift as closely as Esther Perel. For four decades, she’s seen how love, family and work have been reshaped by no-fault divorce, the internet, and now AI. Her conclusion hasn’t changed: the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. It’s a line she first said out loud years ago, in a WHY Discovery session with Simon. Esther is a psychotherapist, the bestselling author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, and the host of the podcast Where Should We Begin? Her card game “Where Should We Begin? At Work,” is built to spark real conversations between colleagues. In this conversation, Esther and Simon talk about why one partner can’t be our whole village, what kids lose when they stop playing in the street, and why an entry-level job may be the last great playground. Simon also shares a personal update: how he made peace with the question, "Why haven’t you been married?" In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why happiness went from a perk to the glue, in love and at work ➡️ The “relationship CV” everyone brings to work (+ how it shapes the way you handle conflict and authority) ➡️ Why we’re asking one person to give us what a whole village used to ➡️ How frictionless apps are changing what we expect from each other ➡️ Why entry-level jobs are the best place to scrape your knees ➡️ The number one relationship skill Gen Z should master before their first job ➡️ Why play is just risk that feels fun, and how it builds trust And remember, every relationship you treasure started as a conversation with a stranger. This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + To learn more about Esther's work, visit: https://www.estherperel.com/ And check out "Where Should We Begin? At Work" here: https://game.estherperel.com/products/where-should-we-begin-at-work + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 Why the Quality of Our Relationships Determines the Quality of Our Lives 00:03:43 The Dual Revolution: How Work and Romance Transformed Together 00:09:40 From Duty to Desire: When Happiness Became the Glue 00:17:11 The Death of the Playground: Where We Lost Our Social Skills 00:19:24 Why Lion Cubs Fight: The Mammal Lesson We're Ignoring 00:25:46 The Harvard Study Secret: Relationships Are #1 Predictor of Happiness 00:28:10 The Kindergarten Separation: A Cultural Moment That Reveals Everything 00:30:17 The Two CVs: Your Work Resume and Your Relationship History 00:31:04 The Predictive Technology Problem: Why Apps Are Ruining Human Connection 00:38:56 The Three Models of Relationships: Romance, Scaffolding, and Friendship Networks 00:42:49 Belonging vs Fitting In: Why Forcing Relationships Fails 00:44:23 The Workplace Revolution: When Psychology Entered Business 00:45:26 Where Should We Begin at Work: Using Storytelling to Build Connection 00:46:20 The Entry-Level Crisis: Why Young Workers Are Most at Risk 00:49:39 Remote Work Reality: Flexibility Without Dogma 00:50:40 The Transactional Trap: Why We Skip the Coffee and Go Straight to Business 00:56:20 Talk to Strangers: The Number One Skill Gen Z Needs 00:57:48 The Discomfort Doctrine: Why Comfort Has Become Too Central to Life 00:58:45 The Third Space: Finding Five Minutes Away From All Responsibility 01:00:22 The Voice Matters: Why We Misinterpret Text and Need to Hear Each Other 01:01:15 The Trojan Horses: Teaching Human Skills Through Work and Romance + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Hello from Team Simon! We're taking a few weeks off and will be back with brand-new episodes of A Bit of Optimism on Tuesday, October 27. Until then, we're revisiting some of our favorite conversations, starting with one of the most fun we've ever had: Rob Lowe. Maybe you know the feeling: you've got an idea, a joke, a risk you want to take… and you talk yourself out of it before anyone else gets the chance. Rob Lowe has spent four decades doing the opposite. He calls it a healthy case of the "screw-its." It's how he survived an industry famous for chewing people up. He went from movies to The West Wing when movie stars didn't do TV, and from TV to hosting a game show when that was supposed to be career death. His secret isn't avoiding failure. It's never letting failure decide what he tries next. Rob is an actor, producer, and bestselling author whose career runs from The Outsiders and St. Elmo's Fire to The West Wing and Parks and Recreation. He hosts FOX's The Floor and the podcast Literally! with Rob Lowe, and stars alongside his son John Owen Lowe in Netflix's Unstable. In this conversation, Rob tells the story of his infamous Oscars song-and-dance number (and the open letter from Hollywood legends that followed it). He also shares the Letterman appearance that taught him to trust his instincts for good, and explains why authenticity has become the only currency that matters. And I push him on the question under all of it: can the rest of us learn to take a punch the way he does? In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why a healthy case of the "screw-its" is a career strategy, not a character flaw ➡️ What the world's top tennis players can teach us about bouncing back ➡️ The one practical rule for being more authentic: stop self-editing ➡️ Why the thing you least want to talk about is the thing that makes you relatable ➡️ Why "availability" might be a better word than "vulnerability" ➡️ How to spot performative authenticity (+ Rob's three red-carpet poses) ➡️ Why you can meet your heroes, but shouldn't get to know them ➡️ How humor makes even the hardest subjects easier to talk about Rob's lesson is a freeing one: take the work seriously, laugh at the absurd parts, and trust your gut on the next big swing. Worst case, you get a great story. This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + If you want to listen to Rob’s podcast, Literally! with Rob Lowe, head to: https://teamcoco.com/podcasts/literally-with-rob-lowe Find out where you can watch Rob as host of GSN’s The Floor, weekends at 8pm ET: https://www.gameshownetwork.com/the-floor + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 The Oscars Disaster: When Rob Lowe Bombed on Stage 00:01:59 From Teen Beat Cover Boy to Career Crisis at 17 00:03:33 The Fame Freeze: Why Celebrities Stop Growing 00:05:29 The Secret to Staying Relevant for Decades 00:06:55 Breaking the Rules: From Movies to TV When No One Did 00:12:45 The Comedy Central Roast and the Price of Humiliation 00:14:39 Learning to Trust Your Instincts After Letterman 00:21:05 What Authenticity Actually Means in Hollywood 00:31:30 The Art of Self-Deprecation Without Losing Respect 00:38:00 Red Carpet Secrets: Man of the People, Blue Steel, and Iconic 00:51:29 Don't Meet Your Heroes - Or At Least Don't Get to Know Them 00:53:26 Finding Humor in the Darkest Moments 00:57:01 Why Game Shows Are Actually the Hardest Thing He's Done 01:01:18 Live in Gratitude and Manage Your Expectations + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

The internet is flooded with advice for dating in the smartphone age: know your type, trust the spark, watch for red flags, protect your peace, never settle. It sounds like self-respect, but relationship expert Amy Chan thinks it’s a big reason dating feels impossible right now. Her argument: we need to correct the lessons we’ve learned when it comes to dating. The person who’s great on a first date isn’t necessarily great at a relationship. Instant chemistry isn’t always a good sign. A red flag could just be an imperfection. And keeping our options open has made a lot of us genuinely bad at choosing someone. Amy is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp and the author of Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts. For nearly two decades she’s looked at dating through psychology and neuroscience — why we’re drawn to certain people, why relationships fall apart, and what actually predicts whether one lasts. She started her career helping people end relationships… Now, she teaches them how to build one. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why “instant chemistry” is one of the worst predictors of a lasting relationship ➡️ The quiet qualities research says actually predict a happy partnership ➡️ Why dating skills and relationship skills are two completely different skill sets ➡️ How the algorithm rewards red-flag advice 10X over green-flag advice (and what that’s doing to you) ➡️ Situationships: why the breakup hurts more when there was never a breakup ➡️ “Leaky energy,” micro-cheating, and the honest test for both ➡️ The 9-date experiment Amy gives clients who are stuck dating the same person ➡️ How the right relationship shrinks old wounds ➡️ Why discomfort is a critical skill dating requires Amy’s advice isn’t about finding a better person. It’s about becoming someone better at love. And that’s advice all of us could use! This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + This episode is brought to you by SAP. Bring it with SAP GROW. The AI Cloud ERP for any size business. Learn more at https://SAP.com/GROW + + + To get a copy of Amy's book, Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts, head to: https://missamychan.com/#books + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 Why Modern Dating Advice Is Making Us Worse at Love 00:02:26 From Broken Heart to Breakup Bootcamp 00:09:50 Why Dating Feels Harder Than Ever 00:11:35 The Two Different Skill Sets: Dating vs. Relationship 00:12:26 Online Dating and the Imagination Problem 00:14:17 The Coffee Date Defense and the "Five Out of Ten Rule" 00:15:53 The Cure for Avoidant Attachment 00:18:13 The ADHD Love Bomb Confession 00:24:49 What Self-Care Culture Gets Wrong About Commitment 00:30:31 Situationships: The Safe Space That Keeps You Stuck 00:33:07 Leaky Energy and Micro-Cheating 00:35:08 Amy's Seven-Year Relationship and Emotionally Corrective Experiences 00:39:28 The Instant Chemistry Trap 00:40:59 The Nine-Person Dating Experiment 00:44:37 Why Young People Aren't Dating Anymore 00:45:49 Bad Feelings Don't Mean It's Bad 00:48:02 The Single Skill That Saves Relationships + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

This might sound familiar: you read a full page, get to the bottom, and realize you absorbed none of it. There's a stack of books beside your bed you fully intend to finish. And the only phone number you can remember is your own. Jim Kwik says none of that means something is wrong with our brains. It’s that we were taught what to learn, but rarely ever taught how to learn. Jim would know. A well-meaning teacher called him "the boy with the broken brain" when he was nine, and for years he believed it. He's spent the three decades since proving otherwise — as a top brain coach, a leading expert on memory and accelerated learning, and the bestselling author of Limitless. His new book, Limitless Daily, offers 366 daily upgrades to help you focus, remember, and think better. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why reading faster can actually improve comprehension ➡️ The free technique that stops your mind wandering mid-page ➡️ How to prompt your own brain the way you prompt AI ➡️ What your "dominant question" reveals about your personality ➡️ Why school teaches us what to learn but never how to learn ➡️ What digital dementia is + how to spot it in yourself ➡️ Why focus is a muscle, not a personality trait ➡️ The one thing AI will never be able to do for you I asked Jim an entirely selfish question about how to actually get through the unread books next to my bed, and got an answer that goes far beyond discipline. Jim explains why the technology making us more capable is quietly making us less able. And by the end, we landed somewhere neither of us expected: AI could have given Jim every piece of advice that changed his life, word for word. But it wasn't the advice that changed him. It was that a living, breathing person cared enough to give it. This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + This episode is brought to you by SAP. Bring it with SAP GROW. The AI Cloud ERP for any size business. Learn more at https://SAP.com/GROW + + + If you want to buy Jim’s new book, Limitless Daily, head to: https://limitlessdaily.com Want to check out Jim’s other work like his best-selling book Limitless? Go to: https://jimkwik.com + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 The Boy With the Broken Brain: When Labels Become Limits 00:00:25 The Power of Adult Words on Children 00:06:51 The Freshman English Failure: Rock Bottom Before the Breakthrough 00:09:54 The Breaking Point: Collapsing in the Library 00:14:26 The Intervention: A Mentor Who Saw Potential, Not Limits 00:15:16 Accidental Careers: When Your Work Becomes Service to Others 00:20:48 110 People Showed Up: The Accidental Beginning of a Career 00:25:02 30 Books in 30 Days: The Student Who Saved Her Mother's Life 00:26:19 Service Over Success: Why Purpose Matters More Than Profit 00:31:31 Grow Givers vs Go Getters: Growing So You Have More to Give 00:32:23 Why Smart People Can't Finish Books 00:34:24 Your Brain Is Bored, Not Broken 00:38:49 The Visual Pacer Hack That Changes Everything 00:40:23 Ask Better Questions: How to Prime Your Brain for Learning 00:44:55 Focus Is a Muscle: Training Attention in the Age of AI 00:46:00 Why AI Will Never Replace Bedside Manner 00:49:11 It Was Never About the Information, It Was The Power of Being Seen + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek + + +

Maybe you know the feeling: everyone around you seems to be getting ahead, and every hour you spend on something "frivolous" — the hobby, the detour, the game on a Sunday afternoon — feels like falling behind. Brendan Hunt's career is proof those hours are never wasted. The detour turned out to be the path all along. Most of us know Brendan as Coach Beard and as the Emmy Award-winning co-creator of Ted Lasso. But before any of that, he was an unknown Chicago improv actor when the Amsterdam comedy institution Boom Chicago offered him something different. He moved to Amsterdam for a year… that turned into five… and he joined an alumni roster that now includes comedians like Seth Meyers, Jordan Peele, Amber Ruffin, and Jason Sudeikis. Brendan performed every night, fell head over heels for soccer ("a soccer missionary for all Americans," as he puts it), and struck up a friendship with Jason Sudeikis. Years later, all of it collided into one of the most beloved shows on television, Ted Lasso, which is back for Season 4 on Apple TV+. Brendan has also returned to his first love, the stage, with his solo show The Movement You Need. In this conversation, Brendan and I trace the wildly unplanned path from Chicago to Amsterdam to AFC Richmond… and land on a different way to think about ambition: master the craft in front of you, and let the plan catch up later. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ The real origin story of Ted Lasso (it began as a YouTube-only commercial written by a pool) ➡️ Why Coach Beard barely talks + the improv rule that explains everything he does ➡️ The "Beatles in Hamburg" secret to mastering any craft ➡️ Why stepping away won't put you behind (everything will be exactly where you left it) ➡️ How "wasting" Sundays watching Dutch soccer created the Lasso–Beard dynamic ➡️ The surprising origin of the BELIEVE sign + who it was designed to annoy ➡️ Why the flip side of belief is trust + and how it shapes Season 4 We spend so much of our lives protecting the plan. Brendan's story is a reminder that the things worth protecting are usually the ones we never planned for at all. This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + This episode is brought to you by SAP. Bring it with SAP GROW. The AI Cloud ERP for any size business. Learn more at https://SAP.com/GROW + + + Check out Brendan as Coach Beard on season 4 of Ted Lasso on Apple TV+: https://tv.apple.com/us/show/ted-lasso If you want to learn more about Brendan’s solo show, The Movement You Need, head to: https://themovementyouneed.com + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 Plans vs. Imagination: The Risk of Staying Safe 00:02:43 From Chicago to Amsterdam: The Audition That Changed Everything 00:07:02 The Boom Chicago Pitch: When Amsterdam Became Irresistible 00:11:58 The Beatles in Hamburg: Getting Your 10,000 Hours 00:16:18 The Joy of the Thing: Why Not Thinking About Your Career Makes You Better 00:20:01 Real Opportunity vs. Your Imagination: Why People Stay Put 00:20:58 Strong Opinions, Loosely Held: The Art of the Flexible Plan 00:21:28 Curiosity as Currency: The Jack of All Trades Philosophy 00:22:51 The Ted Lasso Origin Story: A Pool, Some Bits, and a Name 00:25:45 The Soccer Missionary: How Amsterdam Made Brendan the Beard to Ted's Lasso 00:27:31 Everything Contributes to Everything: The Payoff of Wasted Time 00:30:31 Midwestern Chipperness Meets British Stiff Upper Lip: The Culture Clash of Ted Lasso 00:32:57 Diagnosed as Ted Lasso: When Your Company Is the Character 00:33:46 Bringing Yourself to the Character: Acting as Being, Not Becoming 00:37:23 Coach Beard Was a Placeholder: How a Play Gave Him a Name 00:44:06 The Art Couple: The Play Brendan Wishes He Could Do Forever 00:46:33 The 1986 NFC Championship: A Pure Childhood Memory 00:54:07 When Comedy Became a Need: Making Mom Laugh 00:55:59 Season Four: Belief, Trust, and Starting Over 00:57:28 Don't Pick Sides: The Gift of Knowing Your Own Mistakes 00:59:04 The Purity of Art: Why Brendan Keeps Writing + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek + + +

Everyone says they want more accountability at work… yet few of us think we're the ones who need to learn how to be more accountable. Most of us believe we already know how to own a mistake. We've all said sorry and truly meant it. But meaning it and doing it well are two very different things. And when we’re the first to apologize, we model to everyone around us how cathartic accountability can be. Feelings at Work is a special five-part series from A Bit of Optimism, where Simon Sinek and Alex Simon, founder of LifeShop, explore the human skills that shape how we work, lead, and build relationships. Together, they unpack the emotional challenges most of us face every day—from people pleasing and listening to giving feedback, taking accountability, and having difficult conversations. In this episode, Simon and Alex take on accountability: why owning a mistake can feel like losing, why taking credit and dodging blame come from the same place, and what a real repair actually looks like. You'll discover why owning your part doesn't mean admitting you were wrong, why the confidence to say, "I got that wrong," is what actually makes people follow you, and how to repair something in a way that genuinely clears a pathway forward. Simon and Alex share practical tools like the "wheelie bag" rule for separating intent from impact, the two-part formula that turns an empty gesture into apologies people can actually feel, Alex's practice of "micro-accountability" for owning small things before they accumulate, and the one word that quietly cancels everything you said before it. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why saying you're sorry doesn't mean you're wrong ➡️ The two-part apology formula: what you actually did + the impact it had ➡️ How to name someone's hurt + leave room to be corrected ➡️ "Micro-accountability": owning the small stuff before it turns into the big stuff ➡️ Why people who take too much credit are the same people who dodge blame ➡️ What real confidence actually looks like ➡️ How to receive an apology and why refusing it is its own kind of failure ➡️ Why being uncoachable is the biggest problem at work ➡️ How to ask people to build the fix with you Whether you're leading a team, rebuilding trust with a colleague, or still quietly replaying an argument from three years ago, accountability is one of the most healing skills you can develop. And remember: owning your part is a gift you give the other person AND you give yourself. This... is A Bit of Optimism. + + + CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Why Nobody Thinks They Need to Learn How to Apologize 00:05:49 The Wheelie Bag Philosophy: What Saying Sorry Actually Means 00:08:52 Why People Who Take Too Much Credit Can't Handle Blame 00:10:15 Blame Culture: Why Our First Instinct Is Always to Point Fingers 00:13:37 The Difference Between Being Wrong and Taking Accountability 00:17:34 The Catharsis of Apologizing: Relief for Both Sides 00:24:04 The Leader Who Gives All Credit and Takes All Blame 00:27:55 The Anatomy of a Real Apology: Recognition Plus Impact 00:30:19 When Guessing the Impact Goes Wrong 00:33:46 Repair In Real-Time With Micro-Accountability 00:35:17 The Three-Part Apology That Finally Landed 00:41:06 How to Receive an Apology Without Twisting the Knife 00:43:18 When Sorry Isn't Enough Without Behavioral Change 00:46:16 When You Can't Just Fix It: Asking for Help With Repair 00:49:57 Why We All Think We Already Know How to Apologize 00:51:10 Accountability Is the Gateway to Trust + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek + + + About Alex Simon Alex Simon is the founder of Lifeshop, a school for adult emotional education and teaches emotional intelligence at Yale University. She teaches the emotional and communication skills we all should've learned in school—but didn't. She facilitates experiential workshops on how to have hard conversations, stop people pleasing, listen better, navigate major life transitions, and build healthier relationships. Her sessions are practical, deeply connective, and somehow shockingly fun. When she was 27, Alex created The Self & Other: In Theory and Practice, one of Yale's most sought-after courses. In 2025, she founded Lifeshop in New York to bring emotional education beyond the classroom and into everyday life. She also launched The School of Life in New York and leads workshops for organizations around the world. Before dedicating her career to emotional education, Alex worked as a management consultant at Bain and held strategy and operations roles across industries. She has also lived and trained at Plum Village and Esalen and completed dozens of programs in mindfulness, communication, and personal development.

We often comfort ourselves with the idea that things happen for a reason, or define our struggles as a test of strength. Tom Nash might ask you to reconsider. Tom is a speaker, former DJ, and globe-trotting advocate for agency, anti-fragility, and the radical idea that your worst moment might be your greatest asset — as he argued in his TED Talk, "The Perks of Being a Pirate.” He’s also the mind behind Last Meal with Tom Nash where he asks his guests what their last meal would be if the world ended tomorrow, and then actually cooks it for them. In our conversation, Tom shares how, at 19, a rare bacterial infection left him a quadruple amputee with a 2% chance of survival. And he'll tell you it's the best thing that ever happened to him. This isn’t just another conversation about resilience. It’s a deep dive into agency and the difference between a life that happens to you and one you actually choose. In this episode, we explore: ➡️ Why the story you tell yourself about your own life is the most powerful force in it ➡️ The difference between resilience and anti-fragility (and why it matters) ➡️ Tom’s framework for navigating adversity: The Artist, the Author, and the Alchemist ➡️ The counterintuitive reason why we actually need support networks ➡️ Why "everything happens for a reason" can be a trap (and the perspective that works better) ➡️ What your last meal choice reveals about what you're really searching for ➡️ Why the concept of being "self-made" is a dangerous illusion Tom joins me to ask a fundamental question: who is really holding the pen when it comes to your story? This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + Watch the new season of Tom’s show Last Meal with Tom Nash and head to: https://www.lastmealwithtomnash.com Want more Tom? Check out his website: https://www.tomnash.com + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 Adversity Can Be The Best Thing You Experience 00:03:45 Tom's Story: Contracting Meningococcal Disease 00:07:47 The Gift of Agency: Choosing to Amputate 00:16:18 The Artist, The Author, and The Alchemist: A Framework for Anti-Fragility 00:20:28 The Alchemist: Turning Adversity Into Advantage 00:23:52 Learning to Walk Again: The Momentum Metaphor 00:26:57 The True Purpose of Support Networks 00:34:33 Why 'Everything Happens for a Reason' Robs You of Agency 00:47:37 The Last Meal Question: What Your Choice Reveals About Freedom 00:42:23 Joel Robuchon: Leadership Through Teaching, Not Commanding 00:58:34 The Problem With Inspirational Affirmations 01:00:59 Stop Saying Everything Happens for a Reason + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek Simon’s books: The Infinite Game: https://simonsinek.com/books/the-infinite-game/ Start With Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/start-with-why/ Find Your Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/find-your-why/ Leaders Eat Last: https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/ Together is Better: https://simonsinek.com/books/together-is-better/