ADHD reWired

Episode Summary What makes a relationship truly toxic, and how do you know whether it can be repaired or whether it's time to walk away? In this episode, Eric is joined by licensed professional counselor, board-certified art therapist, and Radiant Life Project founder Kate King, author of Mend or Move On: A Guide to Healing or Leaving Toxic Relationships. Together, they explore toxic dynamics in romantic relationships, families, friendships, and workplaces, including why ADHDers and other neurodivergent people may be especially vulnerable to people-pleasing, fawning, conflict avoidance, and staying too long in painful situations. Kate shares her framework for the seven traps that can keep us stuck, along with practical ways to recognize patterns, communicate needs, build tolerance for difficult conversations, and decide whether a relationship has the mutual willingness needed to mend. Show Notes In this episode, you'll learn: How to distinguish a truly toxic relationship from a relationship that is simply struggling Why your body may recognize a toxic dynamic before your brain fully accepts it How familiar dysfunction can feel safer than unfamiliar change The difference between healthy interdependence and codependency Why people-pleasing, fawning, and conflict avoidance are often rooted in nervous-system safety patterns How to begin practicing "easier hard things" to build tolerance for difficult conversations How to assess whether a relationship, family dynamic, or workplace can be repaired Why mutual willingness is essential if a relationship is going to mend Kate's seven traps of toxic relationships: Buy-in Comfort Powerlessness False ownership Unhealed trauma Avoidance Codependency Guest Kate King is a former licensed professional counselor, board-certified art therapist, award-winning author, radiant life coach, and founder of The Radiant Life Project. She is the author of The Radiant Life Project and Mend or Move On: A Guide to Healing or Leaving Toxic Relationships. Learn more about Kate, her books, and her work at theradiantlifeproject.com. Resources Mentioned The Radiant Life Project: theradiantlifeproject.com ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups: coachingrewired.com One-on-one ADHD coaching worldwide and therapy in Illinois: adhdrewired.com Adult Study Hall: adhdrewired.com Support ADHD reWired on Patreon: patreon.com/adhdrewired Patreon Update The monthly Patreon Coaching Call, available to Patreon supporters at the $25/month level and above, is held on the last Tuesday of each month. The call has moved from 4:00 p.m. Eastern to 2:00 p.m. Eastern. Chapters 6:01 — Introduction and Guest Bio 7:10 — Kate's ADHD Connection: Growing Up with an ADHD Parent 11:31 — Identifying a Toxic Workplace 15:44 — Mend or Move On: Where to Start 20:54 — Personal and Family Relationships 21:59 — Three Signs of a Truly Toxic Relationship 23:24 — The One Requirement to Mend a Relationship 30:46 — Building the Courage to Leave 33:26 — The Seven Traps of Toxic Relationships: Introduction and False Ownership 36:33 — Buy-in, Comfort, and Powerlessness 37:42 — Unhealed Trauma and Shadow Work 38:53 — Avoidance and Codependency 43:17 — Kate's Relationship and Healing Journey 45:48 — Spotting Gaslighting in a Partnership 48:53 — You Don't Owe Anyone Anything 51:42 — Where to Find Kate's Work

🎧 Special Announcement: Alumni Voices + Your Chance to Join ADHD reWired In this special announcement episode of ADHD reWired, Eric shares something a little different: a powerful 10-minute audio montage of alumni from our most recent coaching group — voices from ADHDers just like you who finished the program not long ago. You'll hear, in their own words, why they joined, what they were struggling with, and what changed for them over 8 weeks of coaching, accountability, and connection. From burnout and overwhelm to self-doubt and shame, these stories highlight the real transformations that can happen with the right support. 👉 Our second-chance registration event is Thursday, June 26th at 10 AM Pacific / 1 PM Eastern! ✅ Pre-registration is due by Wednesday, June 25th at least 24 hours before the event. 📝 Session details: Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays 10 AM Pacific / 1 PM Eastern July 24th through September 18th 💥 Ready to join us? Here's your next step: 1️⃣ Go to coachingrewired.com 2️⃣ If you're not already on our interest list, click the button to join 3️⃣ Check your email and confirm your address so you don't miss anything When you join the interest list, you'll also get: A free time tracker we use in group A letter you can share with your employer about the program 🎧 Even if joining this season isn't possible for you, we hope these alumni stories remind you: 👉 You're not alone. 👉 You can do hard things — and you don't have to do them the hardest way possible.

In episode 550 of ADHD reWired, Eric Tivers sits down with Dr. Shannan Palma to explore Decide—a suite of AI-powered decision-support tools built by and for neurodivergent brains. Throughout this conversation, you'll hear about: How Decide leverages AI (Gemini and large language models) to help with everyday choices and multi-step tasks. The story behind IT Assistive Technologies and the Autistic Self-Reliance Support Network. Real-world examples of "decision fatigue" and how Decide's guided and randomized features ease choice paralysis. The balance between AI assistance and human insight—and why a trusting, well-prompted tool can feel like a personal neurodivergent life coach. Pricing, privacy, and the community-focused mission: 85 percent of ITI's profits fund disability-led initiatives. Bonus segments on Pride Month, coaching groups, virtual coworking, and how to get involved with ADHD reWired's summer programs. Use these show notes to get a quick overview, find useful links, and discover why Decide might become your new go-to when you're stuck choosing dinner, figuring out a daily routine, or simply need a gentle "nudge" to move forward. Episode Summary Dr. Shannan Palma—co-founder of Decide and co-director of the Autistic Self-Reliance Support Network—joins Eric to unpack how tools designed by autistic and ADHD adults can transform decision making for all of us. Shannan shares her own late autism and ADHD diagnoses, the challenges she faced finding resources after getting "the piece of paper," and how a 48-hour hackathon sparked a project that won first prize and secured nearly $400 k in grant funding. From door-dash dilemmas to life-altering choices (like whether to adopt a foster dog), Decide offers two core modes: Randomized Choice Generator Users create custom lists (e.g., favorite restaurants, daily routines) and assign energy costs. The app selects an option based on your current energy level—no more breakfast indecision or "what to watch next" paralysis. Guided Decision Assistance A series of friendly, "affirmative" prompts mirror a real-time coach. By reflecting back your own criteria (energy, resources, priorities), Decide delivers a percentage-confidence recommendation and rationale—so you can make a defensible, informed choice without overthinking. Along the way, Shannan emphasizes the importance of privacy (your data always belongs to you), ethical AI (focusing on "do no harm"), and how Decide's freemium model avoids the "ADHD tax" by offering 10 free guided decisions per month. Premium access is available for $4.99/month, but you can cancel at any time without losing progress. Key Takeaways Why "Decision Fatigue" Matters: Neurodivergent brains often struggle with countless small choices (e.g., "What's for dinner?"). Decide's randomized generator isn't just for fun—it reduces executive-function load by factoring in your energy level and pre-ranked options. Guided Mode = Personalized Neurodivergent Coaching: Instead of writing complex prompts for ChatGPT or Claude, Decide asks you targeted yes/no/unsure questions. Once you answer, it gives a clear recommendation (with a confidence score) plus a brief "why," so you trust your decision-making process. Built by Autistic + ADHD Makers: After Shannan's late autism diagnosis, she realized few supports existed for lower-visibility autistic adults. A 48-hour hackathon (Give Back Hack Columbus) brought together autistic and ADHD engineers, designers, and researchers—leading to Decide's prototype and subsequent $400 k grant from Ohio's Department of Developmental Disabilities. Community-First Funding Model: 85 percent of any IT Assistive Technologies' profits flow back to the Autistic Self-Reliance Support Network (ASR). ASR focuses on autonomy and resources for autistic adults—rather than caregiver research—aiming to expand capacity and economic inclusion across the lifespan. Privacy & Data Rights: Decide won't train AI on your personal data, and you retain full ownership of anything you input. Future plans include an opt-in research repository for autistic/ADHD lifespan data—governed by community safeguards. Bonus: Pride Month & ADHD ReWired Community Updates: Neurodivergent Pride Panel: Friday, June 13th at 10 AM PT / 1 PM ET (free registration at adhdrewired.com/pride2025). Summer Coaching Groups kick off July 24th—save $200 by joining the registration kickoff on June 18th (more info at coachingrewired.com). Adult Study Hall: Virtual coworking with monthly "Pomodoro Dance Parties" (4th Friday, Pride-themed on June 27th). Try a 1-week free trial at adultstudyhall.com. Next Live Q&A: Tuesday, June 10th at 10:30 AM PT / 1:30 PM ET (become a Patron at patreon.com/adhdrewired for behind-the-scenes coaching calls). Resources & Links Decide AI Decision Assistant • Web: iassist.com/decide • App Store (iOS) & Google Play (Android) • Guided decisions: 10 free/month; Premium: $4.99/month (cancel anytime) Dr. Shannan Palma & IT Assistive Technologies • IT Assistive Technologies (for-profit): itassist.com • Autistic Self-Reliance Support Network (non-profit): autisticselfreliance.org • LinkedIn: Shannan Palma (mention you heard the podcast!) Neurodivergent Pride & June Events • Neurodivergent Pride Panel (June 13): adhdrewired.com/pride2025 • Adult Study Hall Pomodoro Dance Party (June 27): adultstudyhall.com ADHD ReWired Coaching & Community • Summer Coaching Groups (start July 24): coachingrewired.com • Live Q&A (June 10): RSVP details sent to interest list • Patreon: patreon.com/adhdrewired Books & References • Annie Duke, Thinking in Bets (on decision quality vs. outcome quality) • "Selling Out the Spectrum" by Ryan E. Conviction (autistic journalist on research ethics)

What happens when two ADHDers realize there's more to the story? In this deeply personal and exploratory episode, Eric is joined by his friend and fellow coach, Portia Jackson Preston, for an honest, vulnerable, and unmasked conversation about discovering—later in life—that they're not just ADHD… they're also autistic. April is Autism Acceptance Month and there's no better time to peel back the layers. Eric and Portia share their parallel journeys of exploring what it means to be AuDHD, how autism was hiding in plain sight for both of them, and how late diagnosis is reshaping their self-understanding, their relationships, their parenting, and their work. Together, they unpack: What unmasking looks like—and feels like—especially when it's not a conscious choice Why self-diagnosis is valid and often necessary How intersecting identities impact recognition and diagnosis The grief and growth that come with seeing your past through a new lens Why autistic burnout hit both of them so hard (and what they're doing now to recover) And how this shift is impacting their businesses, boundaries, and sense of self You'll also hear about how EMDR therapy played a pivotal role in both of their journeys, how the Johari Window concept reframed Eric's understanding of his blind spots, and how reconnecting with their full, authentic selves has allowed for deeper joy—even in the weirdest places (like dancing at a Phish show with hand flaps in full glory). This is the kind of conversation that gives others permission to explore, to question, and to be. 👉 Related links & resources: Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price Unmasking for Life by Dr. Devon Price Coaching Groups at ADHD reWired Virtual CoWorking with Adult Study Hall Portia Jackson Preston on Instagram: @portiasjourney 🎧 Takeaways: Unmasking isn't a one-time event—it's a process. Late diagnosis can be both a relief and a reckoning. Self-compassion isn't optional; it's a survival tool. You don't have to prove your neurodivergence to anyone. It's okay to change. It's okay to grieve. And it's okay to rest.

In this episode of ADHD reWired, Eric Tivers welcomes Chris Hooten, a LinkedIn Top Facilitation Voice and certified neuro-mindfulness coach. With over 15 years of experience, Chris specializes in helping neurodiverse organizations foster inclusive communication, leadership, and workplace strategies. Eric begins the episode with a personal update, sharing his ongoing journey of overcoming burnout and a recent formal autism evaluation. He also highlights his interviews on Chasing Life with Dr. Sanjay Gupta and Entrepreneur on Fire, as well as the pressing need for advocacy in the face of recent policy changes that threaten diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives. The core discussion revolves around communication challenges in neurodivergent teams and how traditional workplace structures often fail to accommodate neurodiverse employees. Chris introduces the 4D Model of Neuroinclusive Communication—a framework designed to improve communication by making it more descriptive, deliberate, direct, and diverse. They discuss common workplace miscommunication issues, the pitfalls of platforms like Slack for neurodivergent individuals, and how managers can foster psychological safety. Chris also explores the systemic barriers that impact neurodivergent and marginalized individuals in professional spaces. They emphasize shifting away from medicalized, deficit-based narratives about neurodiversity and adopting an intersectional, affirming approach that values lived experiences. Eric and Chris conclude by reflecting on the evolving nature of work, the need for workplace wellness, and how neurodivergent individuals are often the first to recognize unsustainable work environments. Chris shares insights on fostering genuine inclusion rather than performative DEI efforts and provides strategies for improving workplace culture. 🔗 Find Chris Hooten: ChrisHootenConsulting.com | LinkedIn | Instagram 💡 Resources & Announcements: Pre-registration is now open for the ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups. Secure your spot at coachingrewired.com. Spring Sessions April 24 - June 19th. Join Adult Study Hall for virtual co-working and upcoming Zentangle workshops at adultstudyhall.com. Support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/ADHDrewired. 🎧 Listen Now! Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast app! Contact Chris at https://chrishootenconsulting.com/ ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups: www.coachingrewired.com Adult Study Hall: www.adultstudyhall.com Eric on the Chasing Life Podcast - https://www.cnn.com/audio/podcasts/chasing-life/episodes/af3c5cb0-37bb-11ef-8219-ab8d404559ae Eric on Entrepuner on Fire https://www.eofire.com/podcast/erictivers2/ 5 Calls https://5calls.org/

Eric Tivers continues to reflect on his journey of overcoming burnout and seeking solutions for long-term sustainable energy management. ADHD at 80 MPH is a nod to the last episode recorded in the car about 9 years ago. Episode 47 called ADHD at 55 MPH. Recording from his car during a road trip, Eric shares his experiences of taking a solo retreat to recharge and refocus and to think about yearly planning. He discusses his efforts to rebalance his work and personal needs, and some insights he's recently gained. The episode also touches on his continued discovery of being autistic alongside having ADHD and how it's shaping his approach to life and business. Eric also announces the opening of registration for winter coaching and accountability groups, reflecting on the value of community and structured support for ADHD individuals. The episode concludes with hearing from some recent coaching group alumi and with logistical details about upcoming coaching sessions and community events. 1:07 Winter Coaching and Accountability Groups 01:30 Road Trip Reflections 03:47 Burnout and Sustainability 15:45 Coaching Group Success Stories 22:02 Upcoming Events and Announcements 25:36 Conclusion and Farewell Registration for our winter groups starts Jan. 3, 2025. Winter sessions are January 30 - March 27. Add your name to our interest list at www.coachingrewired.com It's not to late to do your yearly planning with ADHD reWired in Adult Study Hall. Our 5-part yearly planning series is available on demand for Adult Study Hall Members. Join today. It's only $19.99 a month, or save with an annual membership for only $150 for the year. You can also support this work on Patreon. *Note - There will be no Monthly Patreon Coaching Call, or Pomodoro Dance Party for Adult Study Hall Members in December. But we'll be back in January.