Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

GPS is Now Open! Visit https://takecontroladhd.com/gps to learn more and take control of your planning today!---There's a rule most of us signed before we could read it. It decides whether we're worth anything, and it tends to set the same terms for everyone who carries an ADHD brain: you're valuable if you perform, if you keep every plate spinning, if you never let anyone down. Live under that contract long enough and it stops feeling like a belief and starts feeling like a fact — written, as the metaphor goes this week, in permanent ink.Where did the rule come from? Often from the earliest lessons — the pulled-out-of-class, extra-time, here-are-your-accommodations lessons that were meant to level the field but landed as proof you were different. The gap they leave behind doesn't shrink with age. There's research suggesting it widens. The assumption that everyone else has this figured out turns out to be the lie that keeps the rule in place.Links & NotesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:17) - Join the Patreon! (03:13) - Rewriting Rules ---Ready to turn your planning chaos into clarity? Take a look at Guided Planning Sessions™ (GPS)—from getting started to mastering your weekly routines. Whether you’re just picking your tools or refining a system that finally sticks, GPS gives you the structure, support, and community you need to make it happen. Explore more and join today at TakeControlADHD.com/GPS. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

GPS is Now Open! Visit https://takecontroladhd.com/gps to learn more and take control of your planning today!---This episode turns into a stealth self-care intervention when James Ochoa joins Pete and Nikki and immediately drags “motivation” out of the tidy, planner-friendly realm and into the messy, bodily reality of fear, avoidance, and chronic stress. They start with the familiar ADHD paradox—knowing exactly what to do and still not being able to do it—and James reframes that stuckness as normal rather than shameful, then introduces “resourcing” as the practical antidote: not a single trick, but layered supports (internal and external) that make motion possible even when meaning, willpower, and good intentions aren’t showing up.From there, the conversation gets uncomfortably specific in the best way, as Pete uses a long-avoided dermatologist appointment to walk through what “functional pressure” and relationship-based accountability can look like in real time. They explore why the hardest part is often the moment before the call, why eight-out-of-ten certainty is a workable target, and how to build a personal “wind-making” kit—scripts, sensory cues, body movement, tiny rituals, and other anchors that help you cross the threshold from uncertainty to action. The live chat brings in real-world complications (sleep issues, pain, dental trauma, AuDHD scripting and emotion tagging), and James offers concrete, compassionate ways to get support without muscling through alone—because the point isn’t to never fall off the wagon, it’s to get better at restarting.Links & NotesJames OchoaFocused Forward by James OchoaSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:25) - Introducing James Ochoa (04:08) - Finding Meaning (20:14) - Making Your Own Wind (35:28) - Chronic Stress and Adult ADHD (40:27) - Writing, Writing, Writing ---Ready to turn your planning chaos into clarity? Take a look at Guided Planning Sessions™ (GPS)—from getting started to mastering your weekly routines. Whether you’re just picking your tools or refining a system that finally sticks, GPS gives you the structure, support, and community you need to make it happen. Explore more and join today at TakeControlADHD.com/GPS. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

GPS is Now Open! Visit https://takecontroladhd.com/gps to learn more and take control of your planning today!---When you're running on empty, your emotions hit harder and last longer. This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki explore what happens to emotional regulation when you're already depleted—and what you can actually do about it.Building on last week's conversation about compassionate reframing, this episode dives into the physiology behind emotional dysregulation and RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). Pete shares insights from the polyvagal theory and the concept of the "vagal brake," explaining why breathing alone isn't enough when you're in fight-or-flight mode.Nikki breaks down the differences between emotional regulation, emotional dysregulation, and RSD with real examples that anyone with ADHD will recognize. Then they walk through practical grounding techniques that actually work—from ice cold water to wall push-ups to finding safe connection with others.You'll learn why your ADHD brain feels emotions at 100% when others are at 50%, why that negative comment from ten years ago still lives rent-free in your head, and how to create safety for your nervous system when you're already overwhelmed.Plus, get the free downloadable guide: "Regulate and Reframe: A Guide for Emotional Dysregulation and RSD" with simple tools to help you ground, reset, and find your way back to safety.Links & NotesDownload Regulate and Reframe: A Guide for Emotional Dysregulation and RSDThe Polyvagal Theory by Stephen W. PorgesPolyvagal Perspectives by Stephen W. PorgesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:01) - Emotional Regulation (11:31) - Signs Your Tank is Empty ---Ready to turn your planning chaos into clarity? Take a look at Guided Planning Sessions™ (GPS)—from getting started to mastering your weekly routines. Whether you’re just picking your tools or refining a system that finally sticks, GPS gives you the structure, support, and community you need to make it happen. Explore more and join today at TakeControlADHD.com/GPS. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

GPS is Now Open! Visit https://takecontroladhd.com/gps to learn more and take control of your planning today!---To close out Season 31, we turned the microphones over to someone who knows us better than almost anyone in our community: Melissa Bacheler, our DiscordMom, friend, and occasional chaos agent. Instead of the usual coaching, planning, and problem-solving, Melissa surprises us with a full-blown quiz-show-style conversation designed to reveal stories we’ve never told on air. No points, no pressure—just questions that spark nostalgia, laughter, and a surprising amount of self-reflection.Melissa steers us through three big categories: personal hobbies, memories from childhood and adolescence, and a handful of wildly imaginative “what if” scenarios. Nikki talks about her deep love of puzzles, watercolor, country music, and solitude. Pete shares his affection for filmmaking, collaborative storytelling, woodworking, and turning every car he’s ever owned into a “Doctor.” Together, they trade stories about childhood fears, nicknames that should never have been uttered in public, their dream cars, early celebrity crushes, and the music that scored each decade of their lives.And then Melissa goes for the big swings: Who would coach Pete if he could choose any fictional character? How would Nikki run the show if Pete were abducted by aliens—or voluntarily uploaded to the cloud, which frankly sounds inevitable? The answers—if you’ve listened to the show long enough—are deeply on brand.This is a relaxed end-of-season celebration with the person who keeps our Discord running and our community grounded. Thank you for an incredible Season 31—and yes, Season 32 begins in the new year!Links & NotesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:03) - Support the Show on Patreon! (02:02) - Quiz Show! (04:13) - Hobby Lob-by (17:03) - Nostalgia Nuggets (37:57) - What If Fantasies ---Ready to turn your planning chaos into clarity? Take a look at Guided Planning Sessions™ (GPS)—from getting started to mastering your weekly routines. Whether you’re just picking your tools or refining a system that finally sticks, GPS gives you the structure, support, and community you need to make it happen. Explore more and join today at TakeControlADHD.com/GPS. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

GPS is Now Open! Visit https://takecontroladhd.com/gps to learn more and take control of your planning today!---Aging with ADHD often hides in the background of our conversations, even though so many of us feel its effects every day. In this episode, we bring it forward with help from Jami Shapiro, whose work sits right at the intersection of ADHD, transitions, and later-life planning. She’s a senior move manager, ADHD coach, and the voice behind Grandma Has ADHD. Her mix of humor, candor, and lived experience sets the tone for a conversation that feels both comforting and disarming.Jami’s ADHD diagnosis arrived in her mid-40s, long after she had built a career, raised children, and weathered major life changes. The bigger surprise came later: realizing her mother had been living with ADHD as well, completely undiagnosed into her seventies. That discovery reshaped not only Jami’s understanding of her family history but also the emotional patterns she had carried for decades. It softened old misunderstandings and gave her and her mother a way to talk to each other that hadn’t existed before.From there, the conversation widens into the many transitions that come with midlife and beyond—downsizing, empty rooms once filled by children, changing routines, and the simple pressure of making decisions when every choice feels weighty. Jami explains how emotional intensity, uncertainty, and decision fatigue show up more sharply for ADHD adults, especially as responsibilities shift and long-established structures fall away. She walks us through what makes these transitions overwhelming and what actually helps when “just start somewhere” doesn’t land.We also spend time on the parent–child dynamic that emerges when adult children try to help their aging parents with organizing or downsizing. Jami gives a clear look at why these roles easily tangle, how shame gets triggered on both sides, and why a neutral guide often makes the work calmer for everyone involved. Her stories from years of senior move management reveal patterns that many families will recognize instantly.There’s also a practical side to this conversation: how to create a floor plan before a move, how to sort sentimental objects without spiraling, how to use photos and “family show-and-tell” conversations to preserve memories, and how to stay grounded when technology becomes a barrier. Jami talks openly about scams, tech overwhelm, and the very real worries older adults carry about cognitive decline—topics that are easier to avoid than to name, but essential for keeping ourselves and our loved ones safe.The heart of this episode is simple: learning about ADHD later in life doesn’t erase the years behind you, but it can change how you interpret them. It can ease old guilt, untangle family stories, and give you permission to approach the next chapter with more clarity and less self-blame. Jami’s work is full of that spirit, and her guidance makes the process of aging with ADHD feel less isolating and more like something we can navigate together.Links & NotesJami ShapiroSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:02) - Support the Show on Patreon (01:48) - Introducing Jami Shapiro • Aging with ADHD (11:04) - Transitions (21:21) - Scams and Cognitive Decline (25:48) - Giving Up vs Letting Go (30:54) - Where to Start? (36:50) - Technology (40:26) - What age is "Older?" ---Ready to turn your planning chaos into clarity? Take a look at Guided Planning Sessions™ (GPS)—from getting started to mastering your weekly routines. Whether you’re just picking your tools or refining a system that finally sticks, GPS gives you the structure, support, and community you need to make it happen. Explore more and join today at TakeControlADHD.com/GPS. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★