Flying Free

In Episode 394 of the Flying Free Podcast, Natalie Hoffman talks with Lydia Grace Kaiser, author of Bible Truth About Women: What They Don't Tell You. Lydia was raised by a fundamental Baptist pastor and spent decades believing the Bible restricted women. In her 50’s she went to seminary to find out what the evidence actually says.If you've been told the Bible is "clear" about women's roles, but every church seems to teach something different, this conversation will help you see why. The confusion may not come from the Bible itself, but from the lens and the translation choices people bring to it. Together, we’ll walk through 1 Corinthians 14, 1 Timothy 2, Ephesians 5, and what it means to "be the head."Key Takeaways:The problem may be the lens, not the Bible: Translators make choices, and those choices can be shaped by their own beliefs about women. Greek has no quotation marks, so passages like 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 can be read as Paul quoting a view and then pushing back on it.Context changes the meaning: 1 Timothy 2 was written to a church dealing with false teaching, and one small Greek word is often translated "because" when it does not carry that meaning."Head" does not mean boss: Lydia explains that in the first century, head was a metaphor for provider and source, and the rest of the Bible names the heart, not the head, as the control center.Authority belongs to God's word and the Holy Spirit: It does not belong to the person standing at the pulpit.You can unhook from leaders who don't reflect God: Husbands, pastors, parents. When someone says they speak for God but does not reflect His character, you are free to let go of their version of God.With four decades of ministry experience and rigorous scholarship, Lydia brings deep insight to one of the church’s most confusing issues. Raised by a Baptist pastor and educated at a Christian college, she spent many years believing in restrictions on women. Finally, she studied the non-restrictive view, and instead of discovering that it was based on feelings and wishful thinking, she found it supported by stronger textual evidence—a discovery that led her to seminary to acquire more resources for research. Why is the English “plain reading” of certain passages so distorted and misunderstood? Lydia’s study uncovered numerous misleading tactics used to protect traditional power. She writes not as an outsider critiquing the church, but as an insider who deeply loves Jesus, Scripture, and the church, and who passionately pursues truth. Over time, Lydia became convinced that the church and Christian homes are missing God’s heart and God’s best for them. Their witness to the world is at stake, and restrictive teaching perpetuates harm in the USA and wherever American missionaries take it. The church, she believes, is on the cusp of reform as God purifies it from corruption and corporate-style hierarchy. This book is Lydia’s contribution to freeing women in their callings, freeing men from undue expectations, and helping both to discover God’s gift of partnership. Many years of teaching experience in the St. Louis area help Lydia make truth accessible for the average layperson.Get Lydia’s book: Bible Truth About Women: What They Don't Tell YouConnect with Lydia on her website.Get Today’s Free Resource:📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

Today we welcome back Arizona family law attorney Wendy Hernandez to celebrate the release of her brand new book, Legally Ending Love, and to walk us through exactly what every woman needs to know before they file for divorce. (Psst! When you buy her book THIS WEEK ONLY, you get a bunch of amazing free bonus resources, including a Discovery Planner, a Property and Debt Inventory worksheet, and a Free Legal-Ease Glossary - 82 family court terms in plain English, plus a free workbook. Just buy her book on Amazon - and then go to her website HERE to upload your receipt. Key Takeaways:There's a specific category of "text and email mistakes" that show up as exhibits at trial. What are you saying right now that could be used against you later?One new law passed this year changed what counts as proof of abuse in family court. Does your state recognize it yet?Attorneys use a term for the spouse who controls the money. What's it called, and what does it mean for your case if that's not you?Appeals don't work the way most women assume. Find out what actually has to happen the first time around, because there's no do-over.Wendy shares the one word she hopes every woman feels by the time she finishes her book, and it's not the word you'd expect.Having tried over 1,000 cases during her twenty-seven years as a litigator, Wendy is a courtroom warrior who has tackled every type of family law matter — from divorce to child custody and everything in between. Sharing secrets learned from the country’s top law professors at the University of Notre Dame Law School and during her battles on the family law front lines, Wendy is passionate about helping not only her clients, but also those representing themselves, to feel competent, confident and comfortable in the courtroom.Get her brand new book: Legally Ending Love (don’t forget the bonuses this week only!)Explore Wendy’s YouTube Channel, Command the Courtroom.Get Today’s Free Resource:📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

This is the second in a 3-part series where I’m sharing the top three books that have changed my life. Last week I talked about the book A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman. This week I will talk about Altogether You by Jenna Remiersma. And next week…well, you’ll have to come back then to hear me talk about a VERY controversial book in conservative Christian circles, but WOW did it absolutely do a number on my chronic fear, shame, and anger. But for now - let’s dive into a book that helped me make sense of the contradictory thoughts I struggled with every single day. “I can totally do this!” “I could NEVER DO THAT!” See what I mean? Get Today’s Free Resource:🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

This is a replay of one of the most listened to episodes in the Flying Free Podcast archives, and it’s such a good one, I thought I’d reshare it for our new listeners! If you've ever screamed, thrown something, said something you regret, and then wondered if you’re the abusive one, this conversation will clear that up for you. Our guest, Annette Oltmans breaks down what's really happening in your brain, why "mutual abuse" is a myth, and what happens when the very people you turn to for help end up hurting you all over again.What we cover: Why your reactions don’t match your characterA phrase from the National Domestic Violence Hotline that settles the "mutual abuse" debate for good.A former police chief once confronted Annette with a question that reveals exactly why so many victims get misread.There's a second wound that often hurts worse than the first one, and it usually comes from people inside the church.A simple physical trick can interrupt a trauma reaction before it takes over.Get Today’s Free Resource:📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

If you are stepping away from an emotionally or spiritually destructive marriage and suddenly feel hit by severe anxiety, physical illness, obsessive thoughts, or a desperate urge to run back, you may be experiencing trauma bond withdrawal.When a relationship alternates between unpredictable emotional mistreatment and periods of seeming “niceness,” your body builds a biological and neurochemical dependency on that cycle. Breaking free triggers a physical and emotional detox.Today’s episode is a faith-informed, clinically grounded guide to understanding trauma bond withdrawal symptoms, dismantling weaponized scripture, and restoring your nervous system.Resources mentioned in this episode:The Grey Rock Method for Emotional Abuse VictimsFlying Free Kaleidoscope ProgramGet Today’s Free Resource:🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

Let’s talk about emotional neglect. Can we really categorize this as “abuse?” I say we can, and in today’s episode, I’m going to tell you why. In this episode, you’ll learn:Five specific ways emotional neglect shows up in a marriageWhy silence can be more controlling than yellingWhat your nervous system does when someone ignores youThe question every neglected wife asks herself over and over again, and why she needs to stop asking that questionGet Today’s Free Resource:📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women still in or healing from emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

Today we’ll talk about one of the most disorienting experiences Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages face: gaslighting. But we aren’t going to just define what gaslighting is. I’m going to break it down into all the tiny parts and give you some specific stories so you can see exactly what’s going on and WHY. You’ll learn three specific tactics gaslighters use, why they use them, and what you can do to stay grounded in your own reality when someone is working hard to pull you out of it.Key Takeaways:Why someone can sound completely loving and caring while actually doing something deeply harmful to youThe hidden reason your concerns keep disappearing from conversations before they ever get resolvedWhat a "joke" has to do with control, and why your body's reaction is not a character flawThe psychological mechanism you share with a slot machine, and what it's actually costing youThe one shift that strips a gaslighting tactic of all its power, without you having to win a single argumentGet Today’s Free Resource:🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.