Proxy with Yowei Shaw

The case of the progressive rich guy who doesn’t know what to do with his money.Sam grew up middle class, built a company, sold it, and suddenly found himself with more money than he ever expected.But instead of feeling free, Sam feels stuck. He doesn’t want to become the kind of rich person he used to judge. He doesn’t want money to change his relationships. He doesn’t want to hoard it. He doesn’t even want to talk about it.In this episode, we find Sam a proxy: David Steely, a former millionaire who has since given most of his money away. Together, they talk about secrecy, guilt, redistribution, enoughness, and the morally complicated question: what are you supposed to do when you have more than you need?From the episode:— Resource Generation — an organization for young people with wealth and class privilege working toward wealth redistribution— Showing Up for Racial Justice (SURJ) — a group that organizes white people for racial and economic justiceNew to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Mic Chooses the Wrong Life, a story about regret, comparison, and the fantasy of the unlived life.For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

An Emotions Beat investigation about what silence sounds like when your rights are under attack. After Trump’s reelection, Sandy Ernest Allen watched attacks on trans rights escalate — and waited for more cis people to say something. Check in. Show up. Make noise. But mostly, he heard silence.Then Sandy did something counterintuitive. Instead of asking why people didn’t care, he asked cis people what made them start caring about trans rights. Hundereds of people answered.In this episode, Yowei and Sandy investigate what’s hiding inside the silence: overwhelm, shame, fear of saying the wrong thing or looking performative, and the dangerous assumption that someone else will handle it. And Sandy makes the case for allyship that is loud, imperfect, and badly needed.From the episode: — Sandy Ernest Allen — writes the newsletter What's Helping Today: www.sandyernestallen.com— "To Cis People Who Feel Despair" — Sandy's guide to supporting trans people— The post on Bluesky: @sandyernestallen— Support Sandy's writing: https://buymeacoffee.com/sandyallen New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro for another story about what it takes to keep caring when the world is horrifying. For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the people person who fell out of love with people. Zakiya Gibbons used to love strangers, nightlife, and somehow always ending up on a boat. Then lockdown happened. And somewhere in that solitude, Zakiya discovered something alarming: she loved being alone. And when the world opened back up, the things that used to light her up — parties, small talk, new people — made her anxious instead.Zakiya wants to know: is this just who she is now? Or can she get back to the open, exuberant, people-loving version of herself?In this episode, Yowei finds Zakiya a proxy: personality researcher Bill Chopik, who studies how people change over time. Together, they investigate whether personality is fixed, what it takes to change, and how to know when you’re honoring who you are versus accidentally becoming someone you don’t want to be.From the episode: — Zakiya Gibbons — on Instagram @zak_sauce — more of her work: www.zakiyagibbons.com— Dr. William Chopik — studies relationships and personality — more about his research: www.chopiklab.com, Bluesky @Chops310, X @Chops310New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Caitlin Lost the Voice In Her Head for a story about. losing access to a part of yourself you thought was permanent.For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the reporter who can't stop fact-checking his mother-in-law.Brian’s mother-in-law has Alzheimer’s and lives with his family. He loves her. He knows she can’t help misremembering things. And still, when she says something that isn’t true, he corrects her. In this episode, Yowei connects Brian with Claudia Drossell, a psychologist who works with caregivers of people with dementia. Together, they investigate the emotional reality of caregiving: grief, resentment, shame, and how to accept his anger so he can protect the time his family has left. From the episode: — Brian Reed — host of the podcast Question Everything — on Instagram @brihreed, X @BriHReed— Claudia Drossel — psychology p rofessor at Eastern Michigan University — caregiving resources mentioned in this episodeNew to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or.Jane Doesn't Like Her Dogs for another story about love, caregiving, and resentment.For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the introvert who keeps waiting for personality puberty to hit.For most of her life, Yowei saw her introversion as a character flaw to fix. Then Yowei read Unreliable Narrator by comedian Aparna Nancherla and realized she wasn't the only one who felt this way. In this episode, Yowei talks introvert-to-introvert with Aparna about self-loathing, performance, the extrovert ideal, Asian woman stereotypes, why “be yourself” is terrible advice, and how to take up space without trying to become someone else.From the episode: — Aparna Nancherla, author of Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Imposter Syndrome — on Instagram @aparnapkin: www.aparnacomedy.com— Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan CainNew to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro for a story where Yowei tries to understand the terrifying emotional language known as bro-speak. For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the bisexual wife guy who got dumped.George was married to a woman he loved. Then she came out as bisexual and left the marriage. George is happy for her. But he's also heartbroken, confused, and stuck with questions he doesn’t feel allowed to ask.In this episode, Yowei connects George with Hanna Rosin, who has lived a version of this story from the other side. Together, they investigate late-in-life queerness, divorce, closure, performative okayness, and how to move forward when you feel like a minor character written out of someone else’s story. From the episode:— Hanna Rosin, host of the podcasts Radio Atlantic and Chutzpod! — on X and Instagram: @hannarosinNew to Proxy? Try Mic Chooses the Wrong Life for a story about when the road not taken won’t leave you alone, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro for a story about loving someone whose language of connection doesn’t make sense to you.For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com

An Emotions Beat episode about why we suffer alone — and what happens when we don’t.For years, Jason Yu struggled with skin picking in secret. He didn’t have a name for what was happening. He didn’t know other people dealt with it too. And he felt like if he just had more willpower, he should be able to stop.Then, after eight years of shame and isolation, Jason found a support group.In this episode, Yowei talks with Jason about body-focused repetitive behaviors, the strange magic of being understood by strangers, and why support groups can help when friends, family, and even therapy don’t quite reach the lonely center of a problem. Together, they investigate shame, peer support, support group etiquette, red flags, and the radical idea that there may be no one thing that fixes you — but many things that help.From the episode: — Jason Yu — host of the podcast Fidget — on Instagram @fidgetpodcast— The TLC Foundation — a resource for body-focused repetitive behaviors— Jason's book recommendations on. building community — The Art of Gathering and How We Show UpNew to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Sandy and the Silence for another emotions beat episode about shame, silence, and what changes when people finally say the thing out loud.For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishawVisit — proxypodcast.comGet in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com