Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

“ It’s just incredibly hard to really resist these forces that are, you know, probably from evolution, that we adapt to our circumstances,” says psychologist Angela Duckworth, PhD. “But once you have that insight, then you realize that you do have to shape your circumstances before they shape you.” In her new book Situated, Duckworth (who wrote the #1 New York Times bestseller Grit) reveals the often hidden ways that situational elements affect us, and she maps out optimistic strategies for sometimes changing our environment and sometimes improving the situations in our lives. In our conversation, she also shares some funny and enlightening psychology findings that help explain why we can be so different across different settings, and why our expectations of ourselves are socially determined. And toward the end, she offers an alternative approach to effortfully pursuing our goals—which does not involve suffering, and which is actually more effective (go figure!). For the show notes, head to eliseloehnen.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“ I think these resources are good because it gives you the language and the tools to do something that doesn’t necessarily feel right,” says Stephanie Wittels Wachs, author of Last Day. Steph also hosts a podcast by the same name and is the cofounder and CEO of Lemonada Media (the podcast network I’ve been with for the last year or so). I’m so grateful to Steph for sharing a more nuanced and compassionate perspective on addiction, and for creating a vital guide for living with addiction, for connecting with loved ones who have this disease, for saving more lives—and for evolving our culture more broadly, which is so needed. Also for the warmth and humor with which Steph does this all! I’ve covered addiction a lot on Pulling the Thread, so I’m compiling all the resources (including Steph’s book) in the show notes on my site: eliseloehnen.com. Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool, at monarch.com with code THREAD. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David Epstein is a journalist and the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Inside the Box (which we’re talking about today), Range, and The Sports Gene. He tells some fascinating stories that he uncovered during his research that challenge or complicate a lot of cultural perceptions about: freedom (often, sadly, the death knell of creativity!), originality and innovation (turns out there is an optimal level of newness), famous moments of insight and breakthrough (these surprised me), and the relationship between constraints and personal satisfaction (might surprise you).  For the show notes, head to eliseloehnen.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve been tuning into July’s special series of sorts, thank you, and I hope you’ve also been enjoying revisiting these conversations from the archives, or maybe you’re discovering them for the first time. Today, we have a big one with Jungian analyst James Hollis, PhD, who is the author of many, many books that are incredibly meaningful to me. And this conversation still lives up to how much I love his work. I actually cried at one point during our chat, which more or less revolves around how we go about finding our soul’s vocation. For the show notes, head to eliseloehnen.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This special episode initially ran early in 2025 but I wanted to bump it up for those of you who missed it and also because I honestly think Richard Rohr is worthy of a re-listen. If you’re not already familiar with Richard Rohr, he’s a wonderful Franciscan friar, the founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation, and one of my most profound teachers. I really loved and highly recommend his book The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for an Age of Outrage. In this conversation, he helps us to make sense of disorder, evil, anger, and grief—while also helping us to truly grow. For the show notes, head to eliseloehnen.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices