The Art of Manliness

Most people assume that if a goal is hard to achieve, getting there has to feel hard too. We tend to believe that extraordinary results require extraordinary suffering.But my guest says the secret to success isn't gritting your teeth; it's making the path enjoyable. His name is Jia Jiang, and in his new book, Easy Discipline, he argues that consistency comes from designing your work and your life so that doing the right thing becomes something you actually want to do. Today on the show, Jia explains the difference between hard and easy discipline, why "eating bitterness" isn't the best way to go after your ambitions, and how to make your work feel more like play without lowering your standards. Along the way, we discuss Soviet hockey, Japanese tea ceremonies, rejection therapy, one-action goals, and the power of pursuing aims that are an expression of who you are.Resources Related to the PodcastJia's previous book: Rejection TherapyJia's 100 Days of Rejection Therapy videos, including asking for a "burger refill"AoM Article: Motivation Over DisciplineAoM Podcast #954: The Feel-Good Method of ProductivityConnect With Jia JiangJia on SubstackJia's websiteJia on LinkedIn0:00 Introduction to the AOM Podcast0:41 Introducing Jia Jiang and Easy Discipline1:36 Welcome Jia Jiang / The Myth of Sisyphus6:05 Hard Discipline vs. Easy Discipline9:36 Eating Bitterness10:44 Soviet Hockey: Tarasov vs. Tikhonov16:02 The EASY Framework: Enjoyment31:02 Artistry and Ichi-go Ichi-e33:54 Systems and One Action Goals41:22 Repetition with Variation44:18 Why: Being True to Yourself52:33 Where to Find Jia Jiang's WorkSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

George Washington is perhaps the most familiar figure in American history. But most people really only know the image of him they see in marble statues and patriotic paintings. Behind those symbols was a real man: ambitious, self-taught, intensely concerned with honor, and constantly wrestling with the immense responsibilities history placed on his shoulders.In celebration of America's 250th birthday, we're taking an extended look at the life of the man more responsible than anyone else for the nation's founding. Here to unpack that life for us is H.W. Brands, a historian and the author of a new biography of Washington, American Patriarch. Brands traces Washington's journey from a young Virginia surveyor to military commander, founding father, and first president. Along the way, we discuss how Washington's upbringing shaped his character, why he became a surprisingly effective military leader despite losing more battles than he won, how he held together a fragile revolutionary army, how he shaped the presidency through the precedents he set, and whether a leader like Washington could still succeed today.Resources Related to the PodcastH.W.'s previous appearances on the AoM podcast:Episode #696: Theodore Roosevelt, The Last RomanticEpisode #908: Would You Have Been a Patriot or a Loyalist?AoM Podcast #223: George Washington, Benedict Arnold, and Valiant AmbitionAoM Podcast #366: Teach Yourself Like George WashingtonAoM Podcast #719: The Surprising Pessimism of America’s Founding FathersAoM Article: George Washington’s Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and ConversationConnect With H.W. BrandsH.W. on SubstackH.W.’s faculty page 00:00 Introduction01:53 About the book American Patriarch03:03 Washington's childhood & Virginia gentry upbringing06:54 Self-education, surveying, and early ambition11:47 First military mission to the Ohio country17:11 The French and Indian War & Washington's baptism under fire24:44 Washington marries Martha Custis33:57 Washington takes command of the Continental Army40:17 Military strategy: how Washington won by not losing46:41 Holding the army together at Valley Forge55:57 Washington as first president & setting precedents1:09:56 The Farewell Address & legacy1:10:15 What Washington teaches us todaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We all want two things that can seem at odds with each other: to be our own person and to belong. We want to stand apart from the crowd, but we also want to be connected to it. When that balance gets out of whack, we either lose ourselves in tribalism or drift into isolation.My guest today says many of the problems in modern life stem from our inability to hold these two impulses in tension. His name is Luke Burgis, and he’s the author of The One and the 99: Forging Identity in the Age of Social Contagion. Today on the show, Luke explains how becoming a true individual can give you the strength to be a part of a community. We discuss the difference between a solid self and a pseudo self — and what role families and rites of passage can play in moving us toward one or the other — why modern politics feels like a dysfunctional family, the dangers of performative religion, and much more.Resources Related to the PodcastLuke’s previous appearances on the AoM podcast:Episode #714: Why Do We Want What We Want?Episode #910: Thick Desires, Political Atheism, and Living an Anti-Mimetic LifeThe True Believer by Eric HofferEducation of a Wandering Man by Louis L’AmourAoM Podcast #1,025: The Life and Legacy of Louis L’AmourAoM article with L’Amour’s weekly to-do listsAoM article and podcast about C.S. Lewis’ The Abolition of Man and the idea of objective valueThe Courage to Be by Paul TillichThe Quest for Community by Robert NisbetAoM Podcast #847: Overdoing DemocracyAoM Podcast #1,010: How to Resist Group Anxiety and Become a Differentiated SelfAoM Article: Becoming a Well-Differentiated LeaderDying Breed article: A New Kind of Monasticism — The Power of Community to Shape the SoulThe Rule of St. BenedictConnect With Luke BurgisLuke’s websiteTake your personal data back with Incogni! Use code MANLINESS at the link below and get 60% off an annual plan: https://incogni.com/MANLINESSTimestamps0:00 Introduction0:54 Guest Intro: Luke Burgis & The One and the 994:48 The Parable of the Lost Sheep & the Book's Framework10:17 Defining the Self (vs. Identity & Soul)14:37 The Pseudo Self Explained19:40 How to Develop a Solid Self25:35 Louis L'Amour & Education for a Solid Self28:18 Curiositas vs. Studiositas (Ordered vs. Disordered Knowledge)44:30 Tribalism, Politics, & the Pseudo Self45:08 How Undifferentiation Fuels Political Dysfunction51:13 Religion, Performative Piety & the Digital World54:15 What Monasteries Teach Us About Community & Solid SelvesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Of all the books in the Bible, Ecclesiastes is arguably the most philosophical. Dark, experiential, existential, and unsparingly honest about the human condition, it wrestles with work, money, ambition, pleasure, time, and death — and it does so in a way that feels uncannily modern. Whether you approach it as sacred scripture or simply as ancient wisdom literature, Ecclesiastes has something to say to anyone who’s ever chased success, gotten what they wanted, and then wondered, Is this really it?Here to unpack this ancient philosophy is Bobby Jamieson, a pastor and the author of Everything Is Never Enough: Ecclesiastes’ Surprising Path to Resilient Happiness. We discuss why Ecclesiastes resonates so strongly in our age of acceleration and control, why so much of life can feel absurd and unsatisfying, and how the book ultimately shows us how to enjoy — and even embrace — what first appears to be vanity of vanities.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #956: Feeling Depressed and Discombobulated? Social Acceleration May Be to BlameDying Breed Article: Resonance as an Antidote to Social AccelerationAoM Podcast #1,100: Money and Meaning — What Faith Traditions Teach Us About Personal FinanceThe Uncontrollability of the World by Hartmut RosaJerry Seinfeld on saving timeConnect with Bobby JamiesonBobby on XThanks to Today's SponsorSurfshark. Go to https://surfshark.com/manliness or use code MANLINESS at checkout to get 4 extra months of Surfshark VPN!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We’ve all had that feeling — you meet someone new, and the conversation just flows. You’re in sync. You click. But what’s really happening when that magic occurs?My guest today is journalist Kate Murphy, author of Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony, and she says this experience isn’t just a vibe, it’s a measurable physiological phenomenon and the most consequential social dynamic most people have never heard of. In our conversation, we dig into what happens when people click, why syncing with others feels so good, and how it influences everything from friendships to teamwork to romantic relationships. We also talk about why some people have a knack for connection, how you can become more “clickable,” and why video calls are the worst.Resources Related to the PodcastDying Breed article: Resonance as an Antidote to Social AccelerationKate's previous book: You're Not ListeningSunday Firesides: Be Someone's Atmospheric GetawayAoM Article: The Importance of Eye ContactSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.