The Big Drink Rethink

What if your drinking is driven less by choice and more by invisible beliefs running beneath the surface? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey breaks down how beliefs act as our “operating system,” quietly driving our thoughts and behaviours, especially around alcohol. Anna reveals why it’s so difficult to spot the beliefs shaping our drinking, how to distinguish between a thought and a belief, and why simply changing behaviour rarely works unless you dig deeper. With practical examples and the “reverse chain” technique (starting with your behaviour and working backwards), Anna offers clear tools, including the powerful “downward arrow” method to help you uncover the beliefs at the root of your drinking habits and gently rethink your relationship with alcohol.Highlights: 00:00 Welcome & intro 00:41 Recap: The belief “pyramid” and last solo episode 01:20 Why beliefs matter more than thoughts or behaviours 03:10 The difference between a thought and a belief 05:07 Real-world examples: how beliefs quietly shape our actions 12:18 “Alcohol, please help me...”, the jobs we hand to booze 13:38 How habits and beliefs wire together neurologically 14:44 Aaron Beck’s model: core beliefs vs. automatic thoughts 15:35 Why starting with your behaviour is the key to spotting beliefs 16:14 Step-by-step: working backwards from behaviour to belief 24:23 Free guide to run this process anytime 25:30 New episodes: breaking down the most common alcohol beliefs 26:14 Where to find helpful resources. For the worksheet referred to in the episode, visit the toolkit full of free resources on Anna’s website thebigdrinkrethink.com, and download ‘How to Identify Your Drinking Beliefs’ Listen to Episode 137: The Beliefs Driving Your Drinking | Rethinking Alcohol, where Anna shares about the “Pyramid of Belief" and how deeply rooted feelings of “not enough” shape much of our behaviour, including our drinking habits.Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.uk

What if your drinking habits aren’t really about alcohol at all, but about the quiet, powerful beliefs sitting beneath the surface? In this solo episode, Anna Donaghey dives into the “Pyramid of Belief”, a simple framework that explains how deeply-rooted feelings of “not enough” shape much of our behaviour, including drinking.Using lived experience and insights from Dave Gray’s "Liminal Thinking," Anna breaks down how our early experiences, the culture we grow up in, and the swirl of online comparison, all reinforce beliefs like “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not interesting enough,” and “I’m not enough, full stop.” She explores why alcohol so often becomes the go-to answer for the emotional discomfort those beliefs trigger and guides listeners through the first, vital steps to uncovering what they’re really thirsty for.Highlights:00:00 Welcome & intro00:40 The "not enough" beliefs we rarely examine01:13 Why this episode isn’t (really) about alcohol at first02:14 What is the Pyramid of Belief05:04 How our minds filter reality05:57 How a single shame-triggering moment forms a core belief09:03 Why you’re not flawed and how “not enough” beliefs got there10:30 Anna Donaghey’s own formative “not smart enough” moment13:39 The modern "comparison machine"14:20 How alcohol soothes the “not enough” wound16:15 Key question: “What is my drinking actually trying to answer for me?”16:27 Find your own “I’m not enough” belief17:47 What “I need...” before a drink reveals about your core beliefs17:59 Why pinning down beliefs (not just thoughts) is tricky18:42 Announcing a series exploring specific “not enough” beliefs19:37 None of this is your fault20:23 Resources & how to join The Big Drink Rethink community.Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.uk

Why do high-flying CEOs, investors, and ultra-successful leaders, people with every resource at their fingertips, still end up stuck, lonely, and reaching for a drink?In this episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Lindsey Frances, a leadership psychologist. Together they unpack the universal experience of feeling trapped by drink, the myth that outer success delivers inner fulfilment, and why human suffering pays no attention to your bank balance.Is the pull to drink really about stress, status, or socialising, or is it something deeper: unmet needs for purpose, connection, and calm? As Lindsey and Anna discover, real change starts with a single question: what are you truly thirsty for?Highlights:00:00 Intro: High achievers & high-functioning alcohol use02:03 What boardrooms and AA rooms have in common05:15 The trap: shame, disconnection, and feeling unworthy06:09 Why suffering feels the same in £1000 shoes or 99p flip-flops09:36 Success as an external “cage”; failing on the inside12:14 Coping at the top: alcohol and other numbing strategies13:32 Addiction is disconnection, so what comes first?15:13 Alcohol as a (false) shortcut to connection and significance17:06 What are people really thirsty for? Purpose, enough-ness, & joy22:30 Why high achievers can’t just “stop”26:12 Sophrology and imagining a life beyond work (and drinking)30:27 What does constant “fight or flight” feel like?36:31 Why you can’t biohack your way out of pain40:08 Universal issues, whether you run hedge funds or trim hedges45:08 Simple, accessible tools for regulating your nervous system48:01 “Simple, but not easy”: choosing your hard49:20 Lindsey’s own journey - making sense of emotions after quitting54:09 Andrew Lloyd Webber’s story: why sobriety trumps career success54:55 Serving others, and the real sources of flourishing55:23 Where to find Lindsey Frances and resources for sophrologyAnna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.comLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.ukAbout Lindsey Frances:Lindsey Frances is a clinical sophrologist, legacy and wealth psychologist, preventative health expert and data-led performance coach, helping high performers, CEOs and investors master financial and emotional stress, sleep and self-regulation through a unique blend of sophrology, biometrics and behaviour change psychology.In 2021, she opened a private sophrology cabinet on the Alpine French-Swiss border, where she has since guided clients ranging from cross-border executives and athletes to burnout recoverers towards calmer nervous systems and more sustainable performance.Connect with Lindsey:Website: https://www.lindseyfrances.co.uk/

What if the real reason you feel stuck around drinking isn't a lack of willpower or information, but simply that your thinking can't yet see another way? Anna Donaghey is joined by Doug Fleener, author of "Start with What If" and creator of the "What If Rule", a simple, three-step practice for creating new perspectives in real time.Drawing on his own journey from addiction to leadership roles at Bose Corporation, Doug shares how change really happens: through interruption, curiosity, and asking different questions. Together, he and Anna explore why curiosity trumps willpower, and how tiny shifts - like asking, "What if I just didn't drink today?" can unlock entirely new possibilities.Here are the Highlights: 00:00 Welcome to The Big Drink Rethink00:45 What if what keeps you stuck isn’t willpower?01:01 Meet Doug Fleener02:14 The “What If Rule”: change in real time, not ‘someday’03:23 Doug’s 30,000ft wake-up call06:09 The power of interruptions and rock bottoms07:11 Why it feels easier to change your state than change your life15:15 The real impact of asking “What if I didn’t drink just today?”16:21 Why avoiding forever/never thinking makes change possible17:47 “I’ll tackle it when I’m ready” - and how action actually creates clarity23:10 The What If Rule explained: Pause, Question, Go31:43 Why one pause matters even if you still have the drink33:13 How identity, habit, and depletion drive drinking autopilot37:52 Future journaling: setting intentions for who you want to be41:12 Drinking as a default off-switch for discomfort43:08 How to sit with feelings (instead of pushing them down)45:42 “Nobody ever wishes they drank more”46:47 The permission to start small49:12 You don’t need a plan, just the next question.Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethinkAbout the host Anna:Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.Connect with Anna:Website: thebigdrinkrethink.comLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonagheyInstagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethinkProduced by winteraudio.co.ukAbout Doug Fleener:After years of struggle with addiction and self-doubt, Doug rebuilt his life from the inside out. And his journey shaped his belief that transformation begins with one simple question: What if?As the author of “Start With What If” and “The Day Makes the Year (Makes a Life)”, and the creator of The What If Rule, Doug helps people see challenges, habits, and everyday moments in a new light. His insights are practical, hopeful, and deeply human - showing how anyone can create better perspectives and possibilities starting today.Connect with Doug:Website: https://www.dougfleener.com/Book “Start with What If?”: https://www.dougfleener.com/dougsbooks