The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

We’re kicking off a new season of The Happiness Lab with some happiness hot takes — bold claims that challenge conventional wisdom about what it really takes to feel happier. Today's hot take is all about oversharing. We’re usually told that revealing too much is cringe-worthy. That it demonstrates social ignorance. That when it comes to overly personal information, save it for your therapist, because less is usually more. Dr. Laurie argues that revealing more than feels comfortable can actually strengthen our social connections and boost our wellbeing. She speaks with Harvard Business School professor Leslie John, author of Revealing, about why TLI (too little information) is often more dangerous than TMI, and chats with University of Chicago psychologist Nick Epley, author of A Little More Social, about what “embracing the cringe” can teach us about connection, vulnerability, and trust.  Together, they explore the line between sharing and oversharing, and explain why what feels like “too much information” is often just information. Experts Mentioned:  Leslie John, James. E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School Nick Epley, John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business Bronnie Ware, author and palliative carer  Resources Mentioned: Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, by Leslie John (2026) “Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation” by Jared Torre and Matthew Lieberman (Emotion Review, 2018) The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, by Bronnie Ware (2011) A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection, by Nick Epley (2026) “Undervaluing gratitude: Expressers misunderstand the consequences of showing appreciation,” by Amit Kumar and Nick Epley (Psychological Science, 2018) “Insufficiently complimentary?: Underestimating the positive impact of compliments creates a barrier to expressing them” by Xuan Zhao and Nick Epley (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2021) Related Episodes:  “The Secret to Making Friends as an Adult” “Why Giving is a Great Daily Habit” “Caring What You’re Sharing” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety can feel overwhelming. But what if those uncomfortable feelings aren’t problems to fix, but signals worth listening to? As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie revisits a conversation with Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David, author of Emotional Agility. Together, they discuss why bottling up difficult feelings doesn’t work, why brooding can keep us stuck, and what our individual emotions are actually trying to tell us about our lives and relationships. If you’ve ever tried to bury a bad feeling, this episode offers a more effective approach to emotional healing. Experts Mentioned: Susan David, Harvard Medical School psychologist a Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist, neurologist, and founder of logotherapy Resources Mentioned: Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, by Susan David (2016) Related Episodes: "How to Identify Your Negative Emotions" "Stepping Off the Path of Anxiety" "How to be Angry Better" "When Guilt is Good... and When it's Not" See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Struggling to find free time? Feeling constantly busy or burned out? This episode is for you. Dr. Laurie explores the science behind “time famine,” the nagging sense that there’s never enough time in the day. Writer Tom Hodgkinson, author of How to Be Idle, makes a provocative case that doing nothing (napping, daydreaming, even staring out the window) isn’t laziness, but a powerful path to greater happiness and creativity. Plus, Harvard professor Ashley Whillans explains why we keep prioritizing money over time and what that trade-off is really costing us. Experts Mentioned: Tom Hodgkinson, founder and editor of The Idler and author of How to Be Idle Ashley Whillans, Harvard Business School professor and author of Time Smart Cassie Mogilner, UCLA professor of marketing and behavioral decision making Michael I. Norton, Harvard Business School professor of business administration  John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson, psychologists behind the Good Samaritan helping study. Resources Mentioned: The Idler, founded by Tom Hodgkinson How to Be Idle, by Tom Hodgkinson (2004) Time Smart: How to Reclaim Your Time and Live a Happier Life, by Ashley V. Whillans (Harvard Business Review Press, 2020) “Time, Money, and Subjective Well-Being”, by Cassie Mogilner, Ashley V. Whillans, and Michael I. Norton (Handbook of Well-Being, 2018) “Buying Time Promotes Happiness”, by Ashley V. Whillans, Elizabeth W. Dunn, Paul Smeets, Rene Bekkers, and Michael I. Norton (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2017) “From Jerusalem to Jericho: A Study of Situational and Dispositional Variables in Helping Behavior”, by John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1973) “Valuing Time Over Money Is Associated With Greater Happiness”, by Ashley V. Whillans, Aaron C. Weidman, and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2016) “Valuing Time Over Money Is Associated With Greater Social Connection”, by Ashley V. Whillans and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2018) “Thinking About Time As Money Decreases Environmental Behavior”, by Ashley V. Whillans and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 2015) “Time Affluence as a Path Toward Personal Happiness and Ethical Business Practice: Empirical Evidence From Four Studies”, by Tim Kasser and Kennon M. Sheldon (Journal of Business Ethics, 2008) Related Episodes: “Are We Born to Work? Or Born to Live?” “Working Your Way to Happiness” “Stop Wasting Your Energy — Here’s What to Do Instead” “The Happiness Lessons Helping Win Olympic Medals” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Modern dating can feel exhausting. On one hand, there’s the seemingly endless swiping that leads to dating app burnout; on the other, there’s what can feel like the insurmountable challenge of meeting someone in real life. But what if finding love is less about fate — and more about strategy? Dr. Laurie sits down with behavioral scientist and dating coach Tim Molnar, author of Date Smarter: A Strategic Guide to Navigating Modern Romance, to explore what the research really says about how to meet the right person, build genuine connection, and avoid common dating mistakes. Resources mentioned in this episode: Date Smarter: A Strategic Guide to Navigating Modern Romance “Receptivity to Sexual Invitations from Strangers of the Opposite Gender” How to Bounce Back from Life’s Curveballs (with Dr. Maya Shankar) “Computations of Uncertainty Mediate Acute Stress Responses in Humans” “Implementation Intentions and Goal Achievement: A Meta-Analysis of Effects and Processes”  “Forbes Health Survey: 78% Of All Users Report Dating App Burnout” “Foot-in-the-Door Technique Using a Courtship Request” “Getting Beyond Small Talk: Study Finds People Enjoy Deep Conversations with Strangers” “Grammar Is Super Important to Online Dating Sites, So Try to Speak English Good” “ Swipe-based dating applications use and its association with mental health outcomes: a cross-sectional study” (00:02:17) Date Smarter: A Strategic Guide to Navigating Modern RomanceSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does it mean to live a meaningful life? How do you find direction when you feel stuck or you’re unsure about your purpose? Dave Evans and Bill Burnett, co-founders of the Stanford Life Design Lab and authors of How to Live a Meaningful Life join Dr. Laurie to challenge our assumptions about where meaning really comes from. They share practical strategies from the world of design thinking to create a more purposeful and fulfilling life while making the most of your current circumstances. Resources mentioned in this episode: Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life How to Live a Meaningful Life: Using Design Thinking to Unlock Purpose, Joy, and Flow Every Day Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are "Overly Shallow?: Miscalibrated Expectations Create a Barrier to Deeper Conversation"See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s easy to fixate on the usual markers of success — your resume, your net worth, or how “impressive” you seem on paper. But how much do those things really speak to our wellbeing? And what do we miss when we only focus on them? Author and cultural commentator David Brooks reflects on what he learned when he moved beyond ambition, and shares some practical ways to get unstuck.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A lot of us spend our energy on things that aren’t worth it: projects, relationships, or goals that may feel important in the moment but ultimately leave us frustrated and drained. Dr. Diana Hill, clinical psychologist and author of Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, gives us a roadmap for applying our energy more effectively in the new year — so that our lives feel lighter, more purposeful, and energizing instead of exhausting.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What stresses you out over the festive season? Happiness Lab listeners sent in their holiday woes so Dr Laurie and guest Rainn Wilson (The Office star and host of Soul Boom) could weigh in with some science-backed advice.  In the first part of our Holiday Survival Guide, Dr Laurie and Rainn discuss ways to defuse family arguments, why it's ok to feel sad at Christmas, and how to beat festive FOMO.  And find Nick Epley's "deep questions" conversation guide at drlauriesantos.com/deepquestions.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.