Raising Good Humans

What does it actually mean to be a good parent and why does knowing the research make it harder, not easier? This week I'm sharing an interview I did with Adam Grant on his show, ReThinking, where we got into the framework I come back to constantly: all feelings are welcome, but all behaviors are not. We talked about gentle parenting, why asking your child to do something nine times is no better than asking twice, orchid vs. dandelion kids, and what I think the job of a parent actually is. What you'll hear: Why "all feelings are welcome, but all behaviors are not" is the organizing principle behind almost every parenting question What orchid/dandelion research reveals about why some kids are more harmed by permissiveness than others Why asking more than twice doesn't increase compliance and what to do instead The one-sentence definition of the parenting job I keep coming back to This episode is brought to you by: Merit Beauty: It's time for your makeup and skincare to meet the reality of your daily routine with Merit Beauty.com OneSkin: Unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at GreatWolf.com

What if the most powerful thing you could do for your child's brain development has nothing to do with them at all? This episode is for any parent who has worried about screen time, big emotions, or whether they're doing enough — and hasn't realized that the most direct path to a flourishing child runs straight through their own mind. I'm joined by Dr. Richard Davidson, neuroscientist, founder of the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, and author of Born to Flourish. What you'll learn: Why neuroplasticity is happening to your brain right now whether you want it to or not The four pillars of flourishing (awareness, connection, insight, and purpose) and the research-backed reason five minutes a day is enough to change your brain. Why flourishing is contagious — and what that means for the hardest kids, the most overwhelmed parents, and everyone in between. Sponsors: Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at ⁠GreatWolf.com⁠ The RealReal: The most trusted name in authenticated luxury resale. Get 25$ off your first purchase when you go to The ⁠RealReal.com/humans⁠ OneSkin: Unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH KiwiCo: Build the best summer ever with KiwiCo. Get $10 off on your Summer Adventure Series at kiwico.com/SUMMER, promo code HUMANS.

What if what we call high standards in our kids, and quietly admire in ourselves, is actually something much more painful underneath? This episode takes on a question that hits closer to home than most parents want to admit: have I been confusing high standards with something more punishing, in my kids and in myself? I'm joined by Professor Thomas Curran, social psychologist at the London School of Economics and author of The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough, whose research has reframed how a generation of psychologists, parents, and young people understand what perfectionism actually is. We get into why rates are climbing, why perfectionism is so often misread (as drive, as work ethic, as the humble brag we've all been trained to admire), and what it actually looks like to help your kid aim high without paying the hidden price. What you'll learn: Why perfectionism is shame, not standards. The deficit thinking underneath it ("how much less than I appear to others") and why what reads as procrastination, withdrawal, or "not trying" in your kid may actually be perfectionism, protecting them from a shame they can't put words to. (You can't fail at something you didn't try.) The myth that perfectionism produces success. The research, the burnout, the self-handicapping that hold perfectionists back, plus why the culture keeps rewarding it anyway: the job interview humble brag, the curated social feed, schools that prize over-achievement, and a narrowing economy that has parents pushing harder than they want to. What helps at home. Calibrating expectations so your child isn't permanently on tiptoes, decoupling love from accomplishment, modeling making mistakes (and forgiving yourself), the difference between perfectionism and conscientiousness, and how to foster a love of learning that outlasts any one grade. Understanding what perfectionism is helps us stop misreading our kids, soften the pressure we're passing on without meaning to, and protect the part of childhood where trying things and getting them wrong is still part of the joy. Great Wolf Lodge: Bring your pack together at a Lodge near you. Learn more at ⁠⁠GreatWolf.com⁠⁠ Uresta: Learn more about this amazing breakthrough, trusted by over 50 thousand women at ⁠⁠Uresta.com⁠⁠ OneSkin: For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at ⁠⁠oneskin.co/RGH⁠⁠

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Deepika Chopra to talk about what real optimism actually means — and why it’s so different from toxic positivity. We unpack the science behind resilience, curiosity, and staying open when life is hard, and we get practical about how to grow your “optimism muscle” in everyday moments. We talk about language shifts (like the power of “never” and “always”), parenting through low-capacity seasons, rituals that ground families, and why affirmations and manifestation don’t always work the way we think they do. I WROTE MY FIRST BOOK! Order your copy of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans Here: https://bit.ly/3rMLMsL Subscribe to my free newsletter for parenting tips delivered straight to your inbox: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ Follow me on Instagram for more: @raisinggoodhumanspodcast Sponsors: Quince: Go to Quince.com/humans for free shipping on your order and 365-day return Experian: Get started with the Experian App now! Little Spoon: Get 30% off your first online order at littlespoon.com/RGH with code RGH OneSkin: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code RGH at https://www.oneskin.co/RGH #oneskinpod Monarch: 50% off your first year at monarch.com with code HUMANS See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this solo episode, I talk directly to parents about how to show up for our kids when the world feels heavy and unsettling—without turning the conversation into politics. I share what research tells us about stress, co-regulation, and why our kids absorb our emotional state even when we think we’re hiding it. I also offer practical guidance for talking to children at different ages, setting healthier boundaries around the news and doom scrolling, and staying grounded so we can provide safety, connection, and hope while raising compassionate, resilient humans. I WROTE MY FIRST BOOK! Order your copy of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans Here: https://bit.ly/3rMLMsL Subscribe to my free newsletter for parenting tips delivered straight to your inbox: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ Follow me on Instagram for more: @raisinggoodhumanspodcast Sponsors: Experian: Get started with the Experian App now! Bloom: Get Bloom’s best offer by visiting bloomnu.com and using code HUMANS at checkout Ka'Chava: Go to kachava.com and use code HUMANS for 15% off OneSkin: 15% off when you use code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH Skims: Go to skims.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, I sit down with award winning journalist and author Jennifer Wallace, to talk about her new work on mattering—the need to feel seen, valued, and needed. We explore how mattering emerged as a powerful protective factor for kids growing up in high-pressure, achievement-driven environments, and why so many adults today feel lonely, disengaged, or untethered. Jennifer shares the SAID framework—feeling significant, appreciated, invested in, and depended on—and we talk about what this looks like in real life, at home, at work, and in our communities. This conversation is about practical, doable ways to help our kids (and ourselves) feel like we matter—without more pressure, perfection, or performance. I WROTE MY FIRST BOOK! Order your copy of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans Here: https://bit.ly/3rMLMsL Subscribe to my free newsletter for parenting tips delivered straight to your inbox: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ Follow me on Instagram for more: @raisinggoodhumanspodcast Sponsors: Quince: Go to Quince.com/humans for free shipping on your order and 365-day return Experian: Get started with the Experian App now! Brodo: Head to Brodo.com/HUMANS for20% off your first subscription order and use code HUMANS for an additional $10 off See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this week’s episode, I’m joined by education expert Lizzie Assa to talk about independent play—why it matters, what it actually builds in kids, and how to make it work in real life. We break down the difference between independent play and ignoring your child, how to respond when kids say “I’m bored,” and simple ways to set up your home so play can happen more naturally. Lizzie shares practical strategies like play prompts, play pockets, and quiet time, along with reassurance for parents who feel guilty stepping back. This conversation is all about helping kids build confidence, resilience, and creativity—while giving parents a little more breathing room too. I WROTE MY FIRST BOOK! Order your copy of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans Here: https://bit.ly/3rMLMsL Subscribe to my free newsletter for parenting tips delivered straight to your inbox: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ Follow me on Instagram for more: @raisinggoodhumanspodcast Sponsors: Suvie: Go to Suvie.com/Humans to get $150 off plus 16 free meals when you order during their sale Avocado Mattress: With code humans, you’ll save an extra $25 on Crib and Kids Mattresses on top of their holiday sale! AvocadoGreenMattress.com with the code humans. Bobbie: If you want to feel good about what’s in your baby’s bottle, get 10% off with code humans at hibobbie.com Osea: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code HUMANS at OSEAMalibu.com Quince: Go to Quince.com/humans for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.