Recovery Elevator

Today we have Taku. He is 44 years old, lives in Tokyo, Japan, and took his last drink on September 25th, 2021. This episode is brought to you by: Café RE – use code CONNECT for your first month free Sign up and get 10% off your first month: Better Help You may have noticed there is a new podcast intro and outro song on this episode by our very own Pablo Church. The song will be available on Spotify and Apple Music next Monday, October 16th. [03:40] Thoughts from Paul: Paul reminds us of the difference between sobriety and recovery. Sobriety means not drinking alcohol, but simply removing alcohol doesn't necessarily address the reasons someone drank in the first place. While sobriety is an important step toward health and healing, recovery goes deeper. Sobriety is abstinence, staying away from something. Recovery is abstinence, and getting to the root of unease that caused you to reach for the drink in the first place. Recovery is the opposite of a dry drunk but just being sober oftentimes goes hand in hand with being a dry drunk. Recovery is creating a life where alcohol isn't needed. Ask yourself, are you sober or are you in recovery? [09:07] Paul introduces Taku: Taku currently lives in Japan and works in translation for an American company. He is married and they have no children. For fun, they enjoy specialty coffee and Taku enjoys playing music and attending live concerts. Born in Japan and raised in the United States, Taku grew up navigating two cultures and languages. He often felt like he didn't quite belong, and social anxiety made it difficult to feel comfortable in his own skin. At 15 or 16, he discovered alcohol and immediately felt at home. Drinking eased his anxiety and made it easier to connect with people. What began as a social lubricant escalated in college, where blackouts became part of the picture. After moving back to Japan and entering the corporate world, Taku relied on alcohol to transform from a reserved professional into the funny, outgoing guy at night. Losing his belongings and regretting things he said while drinking became familiar, but he rationalized the consequences. In his late 30s, Taku transferred to Los Angeles, where his drinking intensified. He drank nightly and regularly drove drunk. During a vacation with his wife, he drank so much that an argument in a taxi led to police involvement and a night in a Riverside County jail. His visa was later revoked, and he quit his job and returned to Japan. Despite these consequences, he continued drinking heavily. On September 25, 2021, Taku went out with his wife and friends determined to drink "like a gentleman." Instead, he blacked out again and received an angry text from his wife. The next morning, he finally recognized the cycle he had been repeating since his teens: drinking, making mistakes, apologizing, and promising to quit. He began to wonder what life might look like if he simply took alcohol out of the equation. Taku found Paul's TED Talk and the Recovery Elevator podcast, which helped him commit to exploring sobriety. Two weeks later, he attended his first AA meeting in Tokyo. Despite his nervousness, he found a welcoming community where he could share the parts of his story he had hidden from others without being judged. Connecting with people who understood his experience helped him realize he didn't need alcohol to be himself or to feel that he belonged. In his first year, Taku thought his drinking problem wasn't severe enough to require a sponsor or the 12 steps. Eventually, he recognized the value of facing his inner struggles and found a sponsor. Now, more than five years sober, he reflects on how accepting help and finding connection helped change his life. Taku's parting piece of guidance for someone thinking about quitting drinking: "it gets easier, and it gets better." Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. RE Instagram Café RE Books Sobriety Tracker iTunes RE YouTube

Today we have John. He is 39 years old, lives in Vermont, and he took his last drink on July 15th, 2026. This episode is brought to you by: Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Check out this free guide to your first seven days without alcohol. [02:43] Thoughts from Paul: Paul says that when he first quit drinking and entered the rooms of recovery, he heard so many sayings or recovery slogans and most of them made him roll his eyes. But now when he hears them, he recognizes the wisdom baked into these lines. Paul shares numerous phrases with us that many of us will recognize, but the one that got the biggest eyeroll out of him when he first got sober was "One Day at a Time". There is so much in this five-word phrase. Shortened to three words, it is The Present Moment. Shortened even further to one word, NOW. Eckhart Tolle wrote a whole book about it. If you find yourself thinking about how you're going to make it through the witching hour sober, you're not there yet. Or how you're going to be AF for the rest of your life? You're not there yet either. One day at a time means to be here in this moment. You've heard it before on this podcast, but addiction is the greatest life curriculum that one can be blessed with. You're blessed with the opportunity to fully dissect the saying one day at a time because the other side of an addiction is trying to get you to live in the present moment. [06:22] Paul introduces John: John is 39, lives in Vermont, and works in quality control and production. For fun, he enjoys golf and basketball and has rediscovered his love of reading. He says his alcohol-free journey began with Annie Grace's This Naked Mind. John first started drinking in his early teens. He and his friends drank and smoked pot on weekends throughout high school, except during sports seasons when he would tone it down. John began questioning when the last time was that he and his buddies had done anything sober. He says programming took over, and alcohol became woven into the fabric of everything. When John bought his first home in his early 20s, he adopted the habit of having a beer or two after work. He knew drinking might be a problem but never considered quitting. In his late 20s, John began dating a woman who didn't drink much. After she moved in, they began drinking together. Over time, John's drinking worsened, and hers ramped up too. His work schedule and drinking habits made it difficult to make plans, and their relationship began to suffer. About four years ago, John started reading quit lit and listening to podcasts. He realized he didn't have control over his drinking and unsuccessfully tried moderation. His girlfriend confronted him, and although he promised to do better, he began hiding his drinking. He felt weak when he realized he couldn't control it. While listening to the RE podcast, John heard stories that reminded him of himself. Hearing others' success motivated him because he realized that if they could do it, so could he. He planned to wean himself off alcohol over a few weeks, but on the fourth day, he woke up knowing he needed to stop. John used journaling to stay motivated and made a list of all he had lost while drinking. He began reading more quit lit, he joined a gym, bought a basketball, and began exercising. He is now focused on building a routine and a support network. In the past when John tried to quit, he was doing it to prove to someone else that he could do it. This time, he is in it for the long haul. He hasn't had cravings and is just looking forward to finding new things to do to occupy his time. John's parting piece of guidance: "Today's the day. Every single day that I waited, I look back and wish I would have quit a day sooner." Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. RE Instagram Café RE Books Sobriety Tracker iTunes RE YouTube

Today we have Karen. She is 50 years old, from Chicopee, MA and she took her last drink of alcohol on January 13th, 2024. This episode is brought to you by: Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Café RE – the social app for sober people [03:20] Thoughts from Paul: Paul loops back to episode 599 which was titled Romanticizing the Drink. He wants to bring that idea back into consciousness and gives us two things to remember the next time we get the idea that a drink would take the edge off or make life better. Number one, it is total bullshit. Number two, he wants us to start romanticizing the clear mornings. Romanticize less financial stress and a liver that is properly functioning. Through the recovery process, Paul shares that he has learned about so many different healing modalities: meditation, breathwork, yoga, goat yoga and many more. But none are more important than The Golden Rule (aka, love they neighbor). Most people in the modern world reject this teaching due to its simplicity. Basically, it is the idea that what you put out there is what you get back. [09:12] Paul introduces Karen: Karen is 50 years old and lives in Chicopee, MA with her husband of 25 years, and their two sons. She has been a nurse for 27 years. For fun, she enjoys hanging out with her dog, loves fitness and practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Karen states that she was always a normal drinker until her mid-thirties when she fell into the "Mommy Wine Culture" trap. Her kids were older and she began drinking on the weekends at first, but it gradually crept into a daily habit. As Karen got into her forties, she started to feel the effects of drinking every day. Her insomnia on the drinking nights and the aches, pains and low energy began to catch up to her. She never believed it was the alcohol and instead assumed it was symptoms of perimenopause. Karen initially started trying to moderate the wine in an effort to save some calories and hopefully lose some weight. She says it didn't go well. On the days that Karen didn't drink she said it was boring and she was irritable. Late December 2023, Karen started feeling sluggish and was sick and tired of being sick and tired. She began to see that she was drinking faster than others when they were out to dinner. She checked her budget for the year and was surprised how much was spent at the bottle shop on cases of wine each month. The last straw for Karen was in January 2024 when she and a coworker decided to hold each other accountable and only drink on Fridays and Saturdays. The first weekend was ok but she felt she knuckled white through the first week. On the second Saturday, the dread she felt that she would not be able to drink for almost a whole week was overwhelming. This made her recognize that maybe this was more than just being a wine girl and that she was actually addicted. Karen decided to take a break to show alcohol that she was in charge. Karen discovered some reels and TikToks of people talking about quitting drinking and the benefits of it. This sparked her interest and she was determined to see if she could gain any of those benefits for herself. Almost immediately, Karen's sleep improved. She shares that she did have some physical withdrawals and was dealing with anxiety, depression and anhedonia. It was around the 100 day mark that Karen realized that she had all the evidence she needed to stay quit. She was on the other side and began to see the beautiful side of sobriety. She had joined Café RE and was hooked on being able to have daily support, participate in the chats with others who understood where she was. Karen's parting piece of guidance: you've got to do all the things. And if you do all the things and feed this beast enough time, you'll find success on the other side. Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes RE YouTube

Today we have Hannah. She is 35 years old, from Chapel Hill, NC and she took her last drink of alcohol on August 9th, 2025. This episode is brought to you by: Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Sober Link sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus The new book This Is How We Quit is now available. Throughout the rest of 2026, $2 from every copy sold will be donated to Café RE. Happy 12th Soberversary Paul! [05:14] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares that he first heard the quote "The opposite of addiction is connection" from author and speaker Johann Hari over ten years ago. He feels this concept is so important in the recovery space. Paul gives us a couple of ideas to mentally explore and this whole concept is definitely an action item. When it comes to finding your people, leverage sobriety. The camaraderie of sobriety rivals many groups. When it comes to finding your people, don't forget to find yourself. Start speaking kindly to yourself and think about not poisoning yourself with alcohol. Another important connection is the one that we have with nature and the stars. This refers to the creatures and trees in your own backyards. If people aren't your cup of tea, getting a dog is a great opportunity for lots of love and connection. [11:34] Paul introduces Hannah: Hannah is 35 years old and lives in Chapel Hill, NC. She is an account specialist and has a 9-year-old blue tick hound named Dunphy. Hannah grew up as the oldest of three children. They were all active in the church and in sports. Between church, sports and school, Hannah says she didn't drink much in high school. Just enough to become familiar with the party scene. When Hannah was in college, she began binge drinking. Her drinking stayed this way until the loss of her best friend to a car accident when she was around age 23. She didn't want to talk to anyone about her grief, she chose to drink instead. Hannah says she always had a mental timeline of when she would stop drinking. She had seen all of her friends get married, start having children and they would organically stop drinking. She assumed the same would happen for her when she got married in 2022. Hannah found that getting married was not the magic solution and over time began to wonder if this was how she was going to be forever. She says she wasn't unhappy but just had the feeling of wanting more for herself. In May 2024, Hannah found out she was pregnant and stopped drinking. She says it was miserable for her as her husband continued living their lifestyle and she didn't feel comfortable socializing like she had previously. August 2024 was tough for Hannah. Her mother passed away and then two weeks later she learned that she would need to terminate her pregnancy due to some catastrophic health problems. Hannah says alcohol was the only thing that helped her shut her brain off, but that stopped working after a few months. Hannah was with her family on a beach trip the following year and blacked out the first night and made a fool of herself, she says. She awoke the next morning to an intervention with her father and sister that led to her agreeing to go to rehab. Hannah agreed to go to rehab for seven days. After the first few days, Hannah shifted from doing it for her family into doing it for herself and confirmed she would stay for the full 30 days. She felt real connection with the people there and for the first time realized she was an alcoholic. Rehab was a great experience for Hannah, and she began to feel hope for her future for the first time. Hannah transitioned to sober living after 70 days at rehab. She got a sponsor with AA, and it was mandatory that she attend several meetings a week. Hannah says her relationship with her higher power is how she starts each day. It is where she finds her peace and joy and is where she puts all her fears and anxieties. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes RE YouTube

Today we have Mitchell. He is 30 years old, lives in Missouri, and he took his last drink on April 6th, 2025. This episode is brought to you by: Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Sober Link sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus Next Monday, August 31st, we are celebrating the launch of the compilation book This Is How We Quit with a live event via Zoom. Everyone who registers for this free event will receive one free month of membership in Café RE. Coming in September, Café RE will be hosting Ditching the Booze: Emotions. It is a four-week live course, every Wednesday in September at 8pm Eastern [01:50] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares a YouTube video from Seth Capehart MD about The World's Most Encouraged Drug. He gives a brief history of alcohol, that we have been consuming it for thousands of years as humans. It used to serve a vital purpose then, because fermented beverages with a low alcohol content were safer to drink than water. Eventually engineers figured out to provide clean drinking water, but the alcohol consumption stuck around. The doctor shares what alcohol does to our bodies. It taxes the liver and wrecks our hormones. The doctor says if you were trying to create a hormonal environment that would make you fat, weak, and tired, alcohol would be perfect that. He says it's the most invisible, yet visible problem he's encountered in medicine. The next time you find yourself romanticizing a drink, remember the statistics and how terribly it affects our body. Alcohol was the most encouraged drug, but that's changing and you are part of it. [08:35] Paul introduces Mitchell: Mitchell is 30 years old, and lives in Missouri with his wife and three cats. For work, Mitchell is an RN and for fun he enjoys fitness, various types of gaming and is competing in his first triathlon. Mitchell says that growing up, both of his parents were problem drinkers. He hated seeing his parents drunk and by the time he was 10 or 11, he swore he was never going to drink. During a bout of depression when he was 18, Mitchell decided to try alcohol to numb the discomfort. He would drink in his room by himself and knew from the start it wasn't normal behavior. When Mitchell went to college in 2015, he says his mental health had improved and the change in environment and meeting new people helped. His drinking looked different than his friends' and he chose to ignore the voice inside telling him he might have an issue. He was sober curious at times but wasn't ready to quit. After graduating, Mitchell's work as a nurse enabled him to have a schedule for when he could drink. He got married in 2023 and Mitchell says it was clear that this wasn't a cycle he should continue now that there is another person in his life. She is a normal drinker and didn't understand Mitchell's desire to keep going after she was drinking after she was ready to stop. This created conflict for them. Mitchell began to sneak drinks so that his wife wouldn't know that amount he was drinking and he was always ready to downplay the drinking when she brought it up. When his brother-in-law announced that he was quitting after a rough night out, Mitchell decided to speak up and say he would join him. He didn't put a timeline on it, but by saying it out loud, Mitchell knew he would be able to stop for a little while. Having the accountability buddy was helpful and then his wife joined in to support them both. On day nine, his father passed away from an alcohol-related illness. This solidified Mitchell's intention to stay sober, and he started looking for resources. He began listening to the RE podcast and reading quit lit. Not long after he began attending AA and got a sponsor to work the steps with. Mitchell feels fortunate to have a great support system both in and out of AA. Mitchell's parting piece of guidance: Don't suffer in silence. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes RE YouTube

Today we have Art. He is 46 years old, from Wheat Ridge, CO and he took his last drink on November 28th, 2023. This episode is brought to you by: Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help The Find Your People retreat in Bozeman, MT starts this Wednesday. There are still spots available if you want to join us. Thank you to our sponsors of the upcoming retreat: Sober Link – Alcohol Monitoring Rise Up Coffee – Yummy Coffee We ❤️ Better Rhodes – Solid selection of AF drinks Beaglepuss – NA Beers with STYLE Athletic Brewing Company Café RE – Alcohol-Free Community 🌟 [03:40] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us a post made in Café RE by a member named Brian. It explores the idea of romanticizing his drinking days and the transition to romanticizing NOT drinking. It reminds us that the brain is powerful. It is a manifestation machine. Next time you become aware of the brain romanticizing the drink, flip it and start romanticizing your alcohol-free life. Sunsets, laughter, walks with your dog or a loved one at sunset, see it. Create that movie in your brain. Romanticize the clarity, the still life, the clear head. Romanticize the morning after. Romanticize the real you. Romanticize the quiet, the peace, the presence. Romanticize staying in a hard moment without checking out. Romanticize connections with people who get you. [06:32] Paul introduces Art: Art is a Colorado native and currently lives in Wheat Ridge. For work he is a re-entry specialist who helps individuals that get out of prison get back on their feet. For fun, Art enjoys helping others, taking walks, and meditating. Art says he began drinking with friends when he was around 14 to 15 years old. The would have parties on Tuesday nights because his father was out of town. It became very normalized to drink regularly. In his 30's, Art started to recognize that he had an issue. He began drinking his collection of liquor with his partner, but over time found himself drinking solo often. When his collection was dwindling, he began buying shooters at the liquor store. A few years after this, he started drinking shooters at work during the day instead of just drinking at night. Art was still functioning but wasn't feeling great. Some days he needed to drink just to feel better. After a domestic dispute, Art found himself with a DUI and unable to return home to his wife and kids. He moved in with his mom and says he gave up and started drinking his life away. This continued for several months. The turning point for Art was at an IHOP breakfast with his dad when he was shaking so badly, he couldn't hold a spoon. Art confessed that he needed help. His dad took him to an inpatient treatment center for a three-day detox. Art started IOP classes after detox and says he fell in love with it. Once that was over, it was hard being on his own. Art says that speaking to his dad about needing help felt good because he was able to be honest. All of his previous attempts at quitting taught him that he could not do it alone. The first few months were really difficult, and Art consistently gave himself two choices – he was either going to drink or not drink, and he always chose not to drink. Art turned a corner when he realized he was able to be honest with himself and others, without any regrets or worries about what they are going to say about him. Art says the version of himself that he is now is who he wanted to be for so long. He is passionate about sharing his story with others and has noticed positive changes in his relationships since getting sober. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes RE YouTube

Today we have Shane. He is 45 years old, lives in Northern California, and he took his last drink on September 12th, 2013. This episode is brought to you by: Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help It's not too late to join us in Bozeman, MT. The retreat is August 12th-16th. We have cabin and camping spots still available. [01:08] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares that he is having trouble moving on after his loss of Ben. There is still a pile of poop in his yard that he is not going to pick up. He reflects that over time; he knows it will eventually disappear as life moves on and so will he eventually. Moving on from alcohol is hard too. Yes, there were fun times, great memories, but it turned and it's no longer serving us. As a community, we are all moving on. As Odette said in episode 282 – you can miss drinking even though you don't want to drink anymore. Don't sweep the pain of losing alcohol under a rug, it needs to be grieved as it is the loss of a major life companion. But…we are moving on. And you are invited to join us. [04:17] Paul introduces Shane: Shane is from Northern California, is married and they have two children. He works full time in podcasting and communications, and for fun he enjoys playing golf, chess and fitness. Shane says he grew up in an alcoholic household, and his parents were very young when they had him. Growing up he had a lot of resentments and anger towards his parents which he feels led him down the path to use alcohol and other drugs to escape. After a baseball injury, Shane started playing in bands with aspirations of making it in the music business. Along with this came a lot of partying, drugs and alcohol which ended up being a big part of his twenties. In the back of his mind he knew he didn't want to live that way, but he ignored it. Once they had their daughter, Shane began to realize that he was becoming everything that he never wanted to be. The last three years of his drinking progressed so quickly, Shane says, and drinking was such a normalized part of life. The day of his last drink found Shane talking to his wife and letting her know that he needed help to quit drinking. He says the weight lifted off of his shoulders but then he instantly was concerned about the fact that there was no turning back. With the help of his wife and their close friend who got sober, Shane went to inpatient rehab and says it saved his life. When he returned to work, he found himself commuting a lot and a friend introduced him to podcasts. Recognizing that there weren't a lot of sobriety podcasts, Shane decided to start his own. The point of creating the podcast for Shane was to give a space where people could openly share. Shane encourages anyone that may think they have an issue with alcohol to find someone they trust and just open up about it. He believes that conversation creates connection and addiction is the opposite of connection. Shane shares that the biggest gift that sobriety has given him is presence and being conscious. It has given him the ability to grow into his authentic self. Shane's parting piece of guidance: Go for it. Jump in. Don't wait. You're not alone. You can find Shane and all of the offerings he has on his website: That Sober Guy. Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes RE YouTube

Today we have Brittany. She is 44 years old, lives in New Braunfels, TX and she had her last drink on May 27th, 2025. This episode is brought to you by: Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Café RE – THE social app for sober people Bozeman 2026 – August 12th-16th, 2026 [02:07] Paul introduces Brittany: Brittany is 44 years old, is originally from Wisconsin, and lives in New Braunfels, TX with her husband of 18 years. Together they have four kids. For fun, Brittany enjoys sporting events and traveling with her family. Brittany shares she had a great childhood. Her parents were very supportive of her and her older brother. Her father was the child of alcoholics, so he chose not to drink so there was limited exposure to it while Brittany was growing up. Brittany's first drink was when she was 15 years old. She didn't drink much throughout her teens as she was more into sports that didn't leave much room for it. In Wisconsin, attending sporting events always included drinking. In college, Brittany enjoyed the party and playing drinking games and all of her friends drank like she did, so she didn't see it as a problem. After college, Brittany met her husband. He went into the Air Force which found them moving to San Antonio. They hung out with a lot of other young married couples, and they all partied a lot on the weekends. Her husband didn't like Brittany's drinking so she would begin hiding how much she drank, seeing it as him trying to control her. When their second daughter was born in 2014 with a rare genetic disorder, Brittany began to use alcohol as medication. Caring for a special needs child and also moving a lot as a military family was very stressful for Brittany. With her husband being deployed or on assignments, she was doing a lot of parenting alone which led her to self-medicate often. When COVID happened, Brittany's husband was able to be home more, but that led to her drinking increase. Brittany switched from wine to vodka, assuming it would be less noticeable to her husband. She began to hide her drinking more and started promising to drink less but it never happened. Memorial Day weekend of 2025 Brittany's husband left town for work, and she was getting the family settled into their new home with her parents. Brittany had vodka stashed and was drinking in secret throughout the day. That evening, she passed out at the dinner table. Since she had been lying to everyone about drinking, they were worried that something else might be wrong and her mother took her to the hospital. While she was there, both the nurse and the doctor could see what the issue was, but Brittany was still in denial. Brittany will never forget when the doctor told her, "You are not alone". At this point, the family knew and it felt like a weight was lifted. A family friend became a lifeline for Brittany, and she contacted him the next day. He is also in recovery and helped her feel less alone. She went to her first AA meeting that day. With the help of her parents since they were living in Wisconsin, Brittany was able to attend meetings, sometimes two, daily. Brittany says things changed for her very quickly. She started feeling better physically, was losing weight and began working out. The light was beginning to come back into her eyes. Parenting was hard, but she enjoys it much more now that she isn't drinking. Brittany's parting piece of guidance: You are not alone. Find a sober community and jump in with both feet. Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes RE YouTube Café RE