This Naked Mind Podcast

Learning how to stop feeling left out when you quit drinking starts, for Brenda, with a very specific list: people who can supposedly drink like it's nothing and never seem to pay for it. Kate's experience looks different: a friend in recovery who stopped getting invited to things, and a dinner this weekend she's already rehearsing lines for. Listen as our coaches help Brenda and Kate separate fact from fiction and learn why regular drinkers don’t exist.  Brenda discusses: Why "regular drinkers" turned out to be a myth she was ready to test A "party with a price tag," and what that persona actually cost her Three years in a weight loss program, and the math she'd never done The two rooms Coach Zoe asks her to choose between, and which one she picks Kate discusses: Why she'd rather say "I'm taking a break" than let anyone use the word "problem" The word "stigma," and why it fits alcohol in a way it never fit quitting smoking The specific tactics for a dinner, a band, and zero big announcements The two truths Coach Hayley asks her to hold at the same time And more from both guests… Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious! Zoe Ewart is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach who brings her experience and understanding to help with the tricky parts of life's big changes. Her coaching gives you an enjoyable, light-hearted, and safe environment to effortlessly take back control of alcohol.  Learn more about Coach Zoe: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/zoe-ewart/ Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/ Episode links: nakedmindpath.com More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/how-to-stop-feeling-left-out-when-you-quit-drinking-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-937/ Related episodes: Drinking Less in Wine Country | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 740 – https://thisnakedmind.com/drinking-less-in-wine-country-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-740/ Happy Hours, Lonely Nights | Brian's Naked Life | EP 777 – https://thisnakedmind.com/being-fully-present-alcohol-free-e777/ Are There Normal Drinkers? | Reader Question | EP 400 – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-400-reader-question-are-there-normal-drinkers/  Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357 Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff This episode is sponsored by Instant Hydration, Quince, Shopify, Primal Queen, and Hungryroot: Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/naked⁠ Shopify: Sign up for free trial at ⁠shopify.com/mind⁠ Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠hungryroot.com/mind CODE: mind Primal Queen: Get a free month of Primal Queen plus FOUR FREE GIFTS at PrimalQueen.com/NAKEDMIND Instant Hydration: Save 40% on your first subscription order at instanthydration.com/nakedmind CODE: NAKEDMIND

Trigger warning: This episode contains references to disordered eating and the death of a parent following a medical complication. “I'm actually on day twenty-six alcohol-free right now, the first time since I was pregnant with my daughter,” Bethany says. Bev has been counting differently: hers started January 13th, and her husband hasn't missed a single one of his own drinking nights since. Bethany and Bev work with Coaches Hayley and Cole on how to quit drinking when your spouse still drinks. Bethany discusses: • The exact moment four years ago that changed everything, and the nights she still can't escape it • Why she calls herself a “cheater” when it comes to quitting, and what she means by it • The one word she used to describe what alcohol really was to her • What Coach Hayley asked her about her father, and what Bethany said back Bev discusses: • A resentment she didn't know she was carrying, until the alcohol was gone and there was nowhere left to hide it • Living with a cancer diagnosis that makes quitting drinking a matter of life and death • The one sentence about her marriage she's never said out loud, not even to her husband • What Coach Cole told her to do about a husband who won't quit too, and why it wasn't what she expected • And more… Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious! Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/ Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/ Episode links: nakedmindpath.com More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/how-to-quit-drinking-when-your-spouse-still-drinks-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-935/ Related episodes: I Quit Drinking But My Spouse Has Not, Any Advice? | Reader Question | EP 48 | https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-48-reader-question-i-quit-drinking-but-my-spouse-has-not-any-advice/ How Quitting Drinking Can Improve a Relationship | Gavin's Naked Life | EP 842 | https://thisnakedmind.com/how-quitting-drinking-can-improve-a-relationship-gavins-naked-life-e842/ How To Stop Drinking To Avoid Emotions | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 845 | https://thisnakedmind.com/drinking-to-avoid-emotions-afc-e845/ Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357 Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠⁠ Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp at ⁠⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind

Why can’t I just have one drink? For Pamela, that question comes from her struggle to moderate her drinking, and for Claude, it sits in her fear of never being able to drink again. Same question but from two very different perspectives. Coaches Cole and Hayley work with Pamela and Claude to discover what sits behind these questions and to find out why one drink never stays one drink for most of us. Pamela discusses: Fifty-three easy days, then a Friday night phone call from friends that flipped the switch Why the third night lined up with the anniversary of her ex-husband's death Why she uses alcohol to "let go of what's heavy," and what it's really protecting her from Coach Cole's question about her daughter that undid six years of believing she had to handle things alone Her real commitment for the next time the Ferris wheel comes back around Claude discusses: Why the idea of "never again" feels like free fall and grief, not relief Tracing the "glitter" back to cocktails, galas, and a stressful career, and finding it elsewhere An experiment with an untouched glass of wine, left behind on an Adirondack chair Why a firm 30-day non-negotiable feels lighter than deciding fresh every single day The question Coach Hayley keeps circling back to: what if there's no such thing as failure? And more… Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious! Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/ Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/ Episode links: nakedmindpath.com More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/why-cant-i-just-have-one-drink-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-933/ Related episodes: How to Control Alcohol Consumption | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 772 – https://thisnakedmind.com/alcohol-freedom-coaching-e772/ How to Stop Daily Drinking | Pierre's Naked Life | EP 790 – https://thisnakedmind.com/how-to-stop-daily-drinking-e790-pierre/ Is Drinking in Moderation Possible? | Reader Question | EP 08 – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-08-reader-question-moderation-possible/ Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357 Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠⁠ Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp at ⁠⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind

What does it take to figure out how to stop relying on alcohol for confidence? Amy needed eleven months alcohol-free, followed by more stops and starts than a city bus has, to decide something needed to change. For Dee, it was an entire wedding weekend and the fear of being the only one without a drink in her hand that made her realize alcohol was holding way too much headspace for her. Coaches Zoe and Cole help both women discover the confidence that was already inside them all along. Amy discusses: Going 30 days alcohol-free, then 11 months, then letting red wine back in "on a limited basis" and watching it unravel The cognitive dissonance between her morning self and her evening self, and why they actually want the same thing An ADHD diagnosis at seventeen and a lifelong feeling of being unpredictable to herself A snowy backyard, a hot tub, and proof that an urge really does pass if you outlast it Dee discusses: An entire wedding weekend built around alcohol, and the fear she hadn't said out loud yet Why a glass of wine became her stand-in for confidence since college The shift from "I'm not allowed to drink" to "I'm choosing not to," and why that one distinction changed everything Visualizing the wedding ahead of time, the same way she used to visualize a swim race And more… Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious! Zoe Ewart is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach who brings her experience and understanding to help with the tricky parts of life's big changes. Her coaching gives you an enjoyable, light-hearted, and safe environment to effortlessly take back control of alcohol.  Learn more about Coach Zoe: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/zoe-ewart/ Cole Harvey is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning.  Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/ Episode links: nakedmindpath.com More on this episode - https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/how-to-stop-relying-on-alcohol-for-confidence-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-931/ Related episodes: How Do I Become Socially Confident Without Alcohol? – Reader Question – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-582-readers-question-how-do-i-become-socially-confident-without-alcohol/ Drinking Less in Wine Country – Alcohol Freedom Coaching – https://thisnakedmind.com/drinking-less-in-wine-country-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-740/ Feel Like Yourself Again – Alcohol Freedom Coaching – https://thisnakedmind.com/feel-like-yourself-again-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e756/  Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357 Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠⁠ Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp at ⁠⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind⁠

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains references to domestic violence and a mental health crisis. Who am I without alcohol? Does that question sound eerily familiar? Steph and Nicole both find themselves grappling with that very idea and wondering what the answer will mean for them. Steph is 55, and alcohol has been by her side and has helped define her for most of her adult life.  Nicole looks to alcohol for the answers and to smooth the rough edges, and isn’t sure if she’s capable of being herself with a glass in her hand. Coaches Cole and Hayley help provide guidance and hope in this week’s episode. Steph discusses: Why "loss of identity" became the real subject of her coaching call, not just the drinking The belief that she'd failed herself and her friends, and how that belief kept her stuck Why chasing a "finished" identity by a deadline backfires The threshold metaphor, and why stepping into the unknown feels safer than staying somewhere familiar but unwanted Her plan to resign from teaching by May 1st, and what she's choosing to let go of first Nicole discusses: How alcohol became tangled with her identity before she ever turned 21 The seven-year relationship and the night that ended with her in a hospital for three days November 5, 2025: the day she sat in her car and decided something had to change Why grace and curiosity did more for her than willpower ever did What she calls her "2D glasses" moment, and what she sees now that alcohol's gone And more…  Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious! Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/ Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/ Episode links: More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/who-am-i-without-alcohol-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-929/Join The Path: nakedmindpath.com Related episodes: How To Uncouple Alcohol and Identity | Naked Life Story | EP 549 -https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-549-naked-life-story-andrew/Who Am I Without Wine?: Identity & Sophistication | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | E801 - https://thisnakedmind.com/creating-a-new-identity-after-quitting-drinking-alcohol-freedom-freedom-coaching-e801/Why Do I Feel Detached When I’m Not Drinking? | Reader’s Question | EP 122 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-122-reader-question-feel-detached-im-not-drinking/ Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357 Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff This episode is sponsored by Quince, Hungryroot, and BetterHelp Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/naked⁠⁠⁠ Hungryroot: Save 40% on your first order PLUS a free item at ⁠⁠⁠hungryroot.com/mind⁠⁠ CODE: mind BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp at ⁠⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind⁠

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains references to childhood abuse, parental alcoholism, and the death of a parent from alcohol-related illness. Most of us were never taught how to give ourselves grace about drinking, only how to judge ourselves for it. Kelly and Amber are proof that the shame and guilt show up no matter how different the situation looks. For Kelly, it shows up after a weekend of drinking that went further than she planned. For Amber, it shows up the moment someone she's dating asks why she's not drinking, and a much older fear takes over. Kelly discusses: Why her biggest data point yet, a full night out at a friend's timeshare, left her more unsettled than any smaller one had The real difference between "I've proven I can" drink moderately and "I've proven I can" have a great time without it Why Coach Hayley adds the word "yet" every time Kelly says she can't figure out why she drinks Admitting she's skipped a Path call because she didn't want to say out loud that she'd had a fun night of drinking Using the ACT technique on the belief "it's part of my culture," and what that opens up Amber discusses: Why she can turn down a drink at work without blinking but freezes the second a date asks why she doesn't drink The exact body sensation she calls "bracing for impact," and the part Coach Cole admits he carries too Asking the part of her that calls itself broken what it's actually trying to protect her from The Sharon Salzberg line about meditation that becomes her new mantra for catching herself mid-spiral The exact phrase Amber swaps in for "I'm broken," and why it changes how she shows up on a date And more… Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious! Coach Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach trained through the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Learn more about Coach Hayley: thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/ Coach Cole Harvey is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach and habit change and mindset coach. Learn more about Coach Cole: thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/ Episode links: More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/how-to-give-yourself-grace-about-drinking-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-927/ The Path: nakedmindpath.com Related Episodes: Alcohol Addiction and Shame - Hayley's Naked Life - EP 679 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-679-naked-life-story-hayley-s/ Healing Through Self-Love - Cole's Naked Life - EP 737 - https://thisnakedmind.com/healing-through-self-love-coles-naked-life-e737/ How Do I Get Over the Fear of Being Kind to Myself? - Reader Question - EP 552 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-552-reader-question-how-do-i-get-over-the-fear-of-being-kind-to-myself/ Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357 Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, Quince, Shopify, Zazzle, and OSEA. BetterHelp: BetterHelp is offering our listeners 10% off at ⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind⁠ Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/naked⁠ Shopify: Sign up for free trial at ⁠shopify.com/mind⁠ Zazzle: Save 25% on your first order at ⁠zazzle.com⁠ OSEA: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code NAKEDMIND at ⁠OSEAMalibu.com⁠

Trigger Warning: This episode contains references to suicidal ideation, childhood trauma, family violence, and mental illness. Laura has been alcohol-free since Christmas and the voice in her head keeps saying: this isn't going to work for you. Patricia is 83 days in, standing outside in minus-17 degrees watching the moon, finally letting herself cry. Feeling raw after quitting alcohol is exactly where both of them are. Coach Hayley and Coach Zoe don't try to fix it or rush past it. They just sit with it. Laura discusses: Feeling happy on the drive home and immediately wondering if she was doing something wrong How stopping drinking opened up body awareness she didn't know she was missing What it felt like when her shoulders released, her jaw unclenched, and she could finally breathe Using a hand-on-heart practice to respond to emotional cravings instead of reaching for a drink Coach Hayley's reframe: "A thought is not an instruction" Why her morning practice made her smile — and how she almost dismissed it as not enough Patricia discusses: How 23 years of teaching children to feel safe revealed tools she already had for herself Staying in her own box, processing old emotions, and building a new life without leaving the one she has Why her long walks across Britain and the Camino were nervous system regulation she never recognized Building a life from her own ingredients, not the fears handed to her by others The difference between loving her adult children and enabling them Why "I'm choosing today" is more sustainable than "I can do this forever" And more topics… Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Drawing from personal experiences, Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. She believes that with the right mindset, anyone can change their life at any time. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/ Zoe Ewart is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach who brings her experience and understanding to help with the tricky parts of life’s big changes. Her coaching gives you an enjoyable, light-hearted, and safe environment to effortlessly take back control of alcohol so you can feel better physically, mentally, and spiritually. Zoe taught Pilates for 15 years. She has four adult children and more animals than the Ark ever had. Learn more about Coach Zoe: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/zoe-ewart/ Episode links: nakedmindpath.com Related Episodes: How To Stop Drinking To Avoid Emotions | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | E845 – https://thisnakedmind.com/drinking-to-avoid-emotions-afc-e845/ The Path to Inner Clarity | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | E748 – https://thisnakedmind.com/the-path-to-inner-clarity-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e748/ Healing Emotional Pain Without Alcohol | Reader Questions | EP 706 – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-706-readers-question-healing-emotional-pain-without-alcohol/ Ready to take the next step on your journey? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, Green Chef, Quince, Shopify, Zazzle, and OSEA. BetterHelp: BetterHelp is offering our listeners 10% off at ⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind ⁠Green Chef: Get 50% off your first month, then 20% percent off for 2 month at ⁠greenchef.com/NAKEDMIND ⁠Quince: get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/naked⁠Shopify: Sign up for $1 month trial at ⁠shopify.com/mind⁠ Zazzle: Save 25% on your first order at ⁠zazzle.com⁠ OSEA: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code NAKEDMIND at ⁠OSEAMalibu.com⁠