Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing

What does an emotionally shut down man actually look like?Spoiler:Usually not what people think.In this powerful conversation, Luke and Alana explore the hidden reality of emotional shutdown in men—especially the high-performing, successful men who appear “fine” on the outside but are deeply disconnected on the inside.From avoidant attachment to compulsive behavior, emotional numbness, and relational loneliness, this episode helps both men and betrayed partners understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.Healing is possible. Deeper connection is possible.But first—you have to feel.Chapters01:48 What Being Emotionally Shut Down Looks Like04:01 High Performing Shut down09:13 Inside the Shutdown12:39 Signs and Logic16:54 Learning Emotional Safety19:35 Tears and the Body22:27 Busy vs Stillness24:14 Chasing Intensity30:00 Numbness and Dissociation38:35 Individuation and ReconnectionRegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. NEW GroupsMaking Sense of His Behavior - NEW group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Know Your Story is a group for men who are ready to move beyond surface-level recovery and explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that have shaped their lives through guided writing exercises, reflection, and group discussion. Group starts June 22nd and runs for 14 weeks.Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeQuestions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to podcast@chooserecoveryservices.com. Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.

Are you waiting for your partner to “get it” before you can finally move forward?In this powerful episode, Amie and Alana unpack the metaphor of “the waiting room” — where betrayed partners often pause their own healing while hoping their partner will eventually change.You’ll learn:Why conditional healing keeps you stuckHow resentment builds when effort doesn’t equal safetyThe role of attachment injuriesWhy nervous system healing must be internalHow to anchor in reality and reclaim agencyChapters01:37 The Waiting Room Concept03:14 Getting Hit By a Truck Analogy07:13 The Cost of Waiting09:30 Building Resentment11:34 Nervous System and Attachment Patterns14:51 Creating Internal Safety17:46 Fear of Healing Alone20:16 Leaving the Waiting Room23:22 Anchoring in RealityRegister Now!✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeWatch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.

Resentment isn’t bitterness or weakness, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing at healing. In this conversation, we unpack how resentment develops after betrayal trauma, how it protects you from further harm, and why suppressing it can lead to emotional shutdown, hypervigilance, and loss of joy.Chapters01:35 Understanding Anger vs. Resentment02:37 The Roots of Resentment04:54 Manifestations of Resentment07:49 Instinctive Defenses and Resentment09:32 The Traps of Resentment13:58 Healing from ResentmentRegister Now!✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope.🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeWatch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Podcast geared toward helping men live authentically and in harmony with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Intensives - Foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Amie Woolsey hosts this workshop which teaches you how to date yourself first. Learn how to know if you are ready to date again and what a healthy relationship looks like. Should I Stay or Go? - Self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment. Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. Learn tools that will help you move forward to trust, love, empowerment, and finding joy once again.Intimacy Within ⁠- Creating healthy intimacy with your partner begins with creating healthy intimacy within. Amie’s self-paced course and guidebook will walk you through the seven levels of intimacy. Learn how to embrace authenticity and vulnerability even in the face of potential rejection.

Resentment doesn’t always look like anger. Sometimes it hides behind effort, silence, or “doing everything right.”In Part 2 of our Resentment series, Alana sits down with Luke Gordon to explore how powerlessness and entitlement quietly fuel resentment, especially in recovery after betrayal or compulsive sexual behavior.They unpack:Why resentment often goes unnoticed until it causes damageHow silent scorekeeping creates emotional distanceThe link between resentment, entitlement, and relapse riskWhy awareness alone isn’t enough–and what actually leads to healingChapters02:23 Personal Experiences with Resentment05:32 Silent Scorekeeping07:57 Entitlement and Passive Aggressiveness10:47 Processing Resentment and Finding Power15:33 Practical Steps to Address Resentment22:09 The Journey of HealingRegister Now!🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. ✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeWatch us⁠ on YouTube.⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Podcast geared toward helping men live authentically and in harmony with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal. Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Amie Woolsey hosts this workshop which teaches you how to date yourself first. Learn how to know if you are ready to date again and what a healthy relationship looks like. Should I Stay or Go? - Self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment. Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. Learn tools that will help you move forward to trust, love, empowerment, and finding joy once again.Intimacy Within ⁠- Creating healthy intimacy with your partner begins with creating healthy intimacy within. Amie’s self-paced course and guidebook will walk you through the seven levels of intimacy. Learn how to embrace authenticity and vulnerability even in the face of potential rejection.

After betrayal, safety feels impossible—especially when your partner is the one who broke it. In this episode, Alana Gordon is joined by betrayal trauma coach, Laura Fisher, to explore a powerful reframe: what if safety doesn’t start with your partner at all?Together, they unpack:Why betrayal trauma lives in the body, not just the mindHow your nervous system tried to protect you long before discoveryWhy knowing “everything” doesn’t actually create safetyHow internal safety restores boundaries, trust, and decision-makingPractical ways to begin feeling safer inside yourself—todayPast episode with Laura: Finding Freedom in Boundaries Attend our Courage to Thrive intensive and meet Laura! - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. Chapters04:08 Understanding Trauma Responses08:45 The Role of the Body in Healing14:26 Defining Safety 21:01 Voice and Choice in Healing27:00 Boundaries, Trust, Decisions36:39 Rewiring the Nervous System After Betrayal44:40 Practical Steps to Create Internal Safety52:03 The Power of Self-TalkRegister Now!🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeQuestions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to podcast@chooserecoveryservices.com. Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Podcast geared toward helping men live authentically and in harmony with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. Learn tools that will help you move forward to trust, love, empowerment, and finding joy once again.Intimacy Within ⁠- Creating healthy intimacy with your partner begins with creating healthy intimacy within. Amie’s self-paced course and guidebook will walk you through the seven levels of intimacy. Learn how to embrace authenticity and vulnerability even in the face of potential rejection.