Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

What if the relationship patterns you've been trying so hard to change have actually been protecting you all along? In this special re-air episode, Christine revisits a powerful coaching conversation with Darletha, a woman who has spent years recognizing and working through patterns that keep her from experiencing the healthy, committed relationship she desires. Darletha knows she wants love, but when someone begins getting too close, she often finds herself pulling away. She notices red flags, questions compatibility, and eventually ends relationships before they can deepen. Despite years of therapy, reading, and personal growth, she's frustrated that awareness alone hasn't been enough to change the pattern. But Christine offers a surprising perspective: What if Darletha hasn't been sabotaging every relationship? What if some of those relationships genuinely weren't right for her? As they explore Darletha's childhood experiences of abandonment, rejection, and witnessing emotionally abusive relationships, Christine helps her understand why control, hypervigilance, and emotional distance became protective strategies. Together, they uncover the difference between fear-based avoidance and healthy discernment, the importance of reconnecting with the body, and how learning to feel safe expressing vulnerability can transform the way we experience intimacy. Rather than focusing exclusively on what's wrong or what needs to be fixed, Christine encourages Darletha to recognize how much progress she's already made. Her ability to identify unhealthy relationships, invest in herself, and begin expressing her emotions demonstrates strength, courage, and growing self-worth. If you've ever wondered why you keep attracting unavailable partners, why you pull away when intimacy develops, or whether your relationship standards are protecting you or holding you back, this conversation offers a compassionate new perspective. Press play to discover how understanding your protective patterns—without judging them—can help you create more safety, connection, and openness to healthy love. Consider / Ask Yourself Do you find yourself pulling away when someone begins getting emotionally close? Are you judging yourself for relationship patterns that may have originally developed to protect you? Have you confused genuine incompatibility with self-sabotage? Do you spend more time analyzing another person's behavior than noticing how you feel around them? Does being in control make you feel safer in relationships? Can you acknowledge how far you've come instead of focusing only on what you still want to change? Key Insights and A-Ha's Awareness of a relationship pattern is an important first step, but awareness alone doesn't necessarily heal the underlying wound. Childhood abandonment and rejection can create protective responses around intimacy, vulnerability, and trust. Not every relationship that ends is an example of self-sabotage. Sometimes discernment is helping us recognize genuine incompatibility. When we understand our wounds, we can become overly critical of ourselves and attribute every relationship challenge to our own patterns. Hypervigilance and the need for control are often attempts to protect ourselves from emotional pain. Constantly monitoring another person's behavior can disconnect us from our own emotions and bodily awareness. Healthy intimacy begins with learning to recognize, accept, and express our own feelings. Vulnerability is not weakness. It can be an important part of creating emotional safety and connection. We can recognize the protective purpose of old patterns while still learning new ways of relating. Healing happens through love, understanding, and compassion—not judgment. How to Deepen the Work When reflecting on a past relationship, distinguish between genuine incompatibility and moments when fear may have influenced your decisions. Instead of immediately analyzing someone's words or actions, ask yourself: "How do I actually feel around this person?" Notice whether your body feels relaxed, excited, anxious, guarded, or uncomfortable as you spend time with someone. Explore where your need for control originated and what you believe control is protecting you from. Practice expressing your feelings with emotionally safe people, even when vulnerability feels unfamiliar. When fears of rejection or abandonment arise, remind yourself that you have developed the inner resources to support yourself through difficult experiences. Recognize your progress. Consider the unhealthy relationships you've chosen not to remain in and the ways you've already honored your values. Replace self-criticism with curiosity and compassion for the younger parts of yourself that learned to stay protected. A Powerful Reframe: Discernment vs. Self-Sabotage One of the most important moments in this conversation comes when Christine challenges Darletha's belief that she has been pushing away every opportunity for love. Darletha describes ending a relationship with a man who had three children and wasn't clearly aligned with her desire to have another child. Initially, she views this as another example of her fear of intimacy. But Christine points out that their differences around family planning were significant. Recognizing that someone isn't aligned with your values isn't necessarily self-sabotage. It may be healthy discernment. The invitation is to acknowledge both truths: you may have protective patterns around intimacy, and you may also have made wise decisions about relationships that weren't right for you. You don't have to make yourself wrong for every relationship that didn't work out. Resources Mentioned in This Episode Love Magnet — Free Workshop Replays Christine shares that she and her husband have recently taught their free three-day Love Magnet workshop, focused on calling in healthy, lasting love. The workshop explores protective relationship patterns, the different kinds of relationships, and what it means to call in a soul-aligned partnership. Replays are available for those who missed the live workshop. Access the Love Magnet workshop replays Be the Queen Christine also discusses Be the Queen, the three-month relationship program she teaches with her husband. The program focuses on breaking protective patterns, strengthening self-worth, developing emotional safety, and becoming more available for healthy partnership. In this episode, Christine mentions that the program begins October 27, with early-bird pricing available for applications submitted by October 17 or within 24 hours of watching the workshop replay. Learn more about Be the Queen Note: These dates and promotional details are from the re-air's introduction. Check the program website for current enrollment information. Social Media + Resources Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts including Coaches Corner Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler Facebook — Christine Hassler Instagram — @ChristineHassler Instagram — @SacredUnionCouples Apply to be coached on the show Courses, retreats, and more resources

What if the reason love hasn't happened yet isn't because you're meant to be alone—but because part of you is still protecting you from the risk of losing it? In this deeply insightful coaching session, Christine works with Meredith, a 44-year-old woman who has built a full and fulfilling life. She's dated throughout adulthood, had long-term relationships, and created a career and life she enjoys. But she's never been married or engaged, and she's beginning to wonder: Do I actually want partnership anymore, or should I simply accept that this is my life? Yet underneath that question, the longing is still there. Meredith wants companionship, attraction, shared interests, and the feeling of coming home to someone. At the same time, her history has taught her that loving someone can mean losing them. Meredith suddenly lost her father when she was 13. Her mother was emotionally unavailable for many years, and just as their relationship eventually changed and Meredith began receiving more of the connection she needed, she lost her mother to cancer. Christine helps Meredith recognize the competing intentions operating beneath the surface: one part deeply desires love, while another part has learned that love is risky because the people you love can disappear. Rather than treating Meredith's relationship fears as evidence that she's broken or needs to fix herself before she can find love, Christine reframes them as protective parts doing exactly what they learned to do. The work isn't becoming perfectly healed before entering a relationship. It's understanding those parts, accepting them, and consciously deciding that love is worth the risk. Together, they explore grief, fear of loss, subconscious protection, self-acceptance, relationship insecurity, and why healing is very different from fixing yourself. If you've ever wondered whether you should give up on finding love, felt exhausted by the idea that you need to do more work on yourself before you're "ready," or found yourself simultaneously longing for intimacy and pulling away from it, this conversation offers a completely different perspective. Press play to discover what can shift when you stop asking, "What's wrong with me?" and begin telling yourself: "I'm willing to risk it for love." Consider / Ask Yourself Do you genuinely no longer desire partnership, or have you become discouraged after years of disappointment? Do you have one part that deeply wants intimacy while another part keeps its foot on the brake? Have experiences of grief, abandonment, or loss taught you that loving someone isn't safe? Are you afraid of the relationship itself—or are you actually afraid of losing the relationship? Do you believe you have to completely heal or fix yourself before you're worthy of healthy love? What happens inside your body when you say: "I'm willing to risk losing again to call in great love"? Key Insights and A-Ha's We can consciously desire something while subconscious protective parts are working hard to keep us from experiencing it. When it comes to competing intentions, the protective parts often win because they're wired toward survival. Meredith isn't necessarily afraid of love itself; she's afraid of experiencing love and then losing it. Sudden loss and emotional unavailability in childhood can create powerful subconscious associations between intimacy, instability, and grief. What we often label as insecurity may actually be fear that makes complete sense in the context of our history. You don't need to fully love every part of yourself before you're capable of receiving healthy love. Acceptance and compassion toward the parts of yourself you don't love can actually be powerful forms of self-love. Healing is different from fixing. Fixing assumes you're broken; healing involves understanding your wounds and protective patterns. You don't need to enter a relationship without any "scabs." You can take responsibility for your wounds while allowing someone to walk beside you. Part of healthy intimacy is accepting that loving another person always involves some degree of risk. The goal isn't to eliminate your desire for love so you won't be disappointed. It's learning to experience desire and longing without turning them into suffering. How to Deepen the Work Instead of asking whether you're destined to be single, become curious about the part of you that still wants partnership and the part that feels safer without it. When insecurity appears, ask what fear may be underneath it. Explore whether you're afraid of being in a relationship or afraid of eventually losing one. Practice telling your protective parts: "I understand why you're scared, and I'm willing to risk loving again." Stop treating your wounds as evidence that you're broken or unready for love. Notice the difference between healing yourself and trying to fix yourself. Practice accepting your fears and vulnerabilities rather than believing they must disappear before you're ready for partnership. Allow yourself to desire love without judging yourself, becoming frustrated with yourself, or making the absence of partnership mean something is wrong with you. Resources Mentioned in This Episode Love Magnet — Free Three-Day Workshop Christine and her husband are teaching Love Magnet, a free three-day workshop taking place October 13, 14, and 15. The workshop focuses on magnetizing healthy love, moving beyond the belief that you need to continually fix yourself, and creating more fulfillment and relief around dating, intimacy, and relationships. Christine shares that the workshop has been refreshed with new material since she last taught it in February 2025. A VIP upgrade is also available. Learn more and register for Love Magnet Be the Queen Christine also discusses Be the Queen, the deeper program she teaches with her husband for women who want to call in a healthy, side-by-side partnership. In the program, Christine goes deeper into subconscious blocks, protective patterns, feminine magnetism, and the different kinds of relationships we can attract. Learn more about Be the Queen Social Media + Resources Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts including Coaches Corner Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler Facebook — Christine Hassler Instagram — @ChristineHassler Instagram — @SacredUnionCouples Apply to be coached on the show Courses, retreats, and more resources

Dr. Isaiah Pickens is a clinical psychologist, organizational development specialist, and nationally recognized trauma expert. He is the founder and CEO of iOpening Enterprises, where he helps organizations create healthier, more emotionally intelligent work cultures without sacrificing productivity or well-being. He previously served as Assistant Director at the UCLA-Duke National Center for Child Traumatic Stress and as a clinical assistant professor at NYU School of Medicine. He is also a Robert Wood Johnson Foundation Culture of Health Leader and Fellow, a Stanford-certified Compassion Specialist, and a recipient of the American Psychological Association Early Career Achievement Award. He is the author of Trauma-Informed and Culturally Responsive Practices in Schools: Building a Climate of Compassion, and through his work, Dr. Pickens is helping individuals and organizations redefine success and unlock their potential through psychological science.

What happens when someone you love finally seems to have changed—only for an old, painful pattern to suddenly come back? In this deeply relatable coaching session, Christine works with Haley, who grew up with a verbally and emotionally abusive father. After a period of having no relationship with him, the two spent the last five years rebuilding their connection. Haley began to genuinely enjoy being around her father and finally felt loved and supported by him. Then one painful conflict changed everything. After Haley stood up for her younger sister, she saw a side of her father she hadn't seen in years. Suddenly, she was transported back to the fear, hurt, and confusion she experienced as a child. The relationship she thought had changed no longer felt as safe or stable as she believed. Christine helps Haley explore the painful reality of what happens when someone shows signs of growth but reverts to old behaviors the moment we disagree, set a boundary, or stop behaving the way they want us to. Together, they explore narcissistic traits, emotionally abusive family dynamics, accountability, boundaries, grieving the parent you wanted, and the difference between someone's potential and the reality of what they're actually capable of relationally. For Haley, the deeper work may not be figuring out how to get her father to understand. It may be finding her own voice, trusting her inner authority, protecting her peace, and letting go of the hope that saying something perfectly will finally create the response she's always wanted. If you've ever rebuilt a relationship only to have an old pattern return, this conversation is a powerful reminder that the good moments don't necessarily have to be fake—but they also don't erase what happens when conflict, boundaries, or individuation enter the relationship. Press play to explore how accepting someone's limitations can help you stop fighting for their potential and start choosing your own peace. Consider / Ask Yourself Have you believed someone changed, only to see an old painful behavior suddenly return? Are you still hoping that if you explain yourself clearly enough, someone will finally understand your perspective? Did you learn as a child that staying quiet was the safest way to avoid conflict? Are you investing more energy in someone's potential than in the reality of how they consistently show up? What would choosing your own peace look like if the other person never takes accountability or apologizes? Key Insights and A-Ha's People can have genuinely good periods and still have limited capacity for healthy conflict and repair. One of the clearest tests of a relationship can be what happens when you disagree, say no, set a boundary, or stop organizing yourself around another person's emotional needs. When a child grows up around emotionally abusive or narcissistic traits, speaking up may feel unsafe even in adulthood. Trying harder to make someone understand you can repeat the childhood pattern of fighting for validation and approval. Healthy relational repair requires the capacity for responsibility, accountability, empathy, and apology. Understanding someone's limitations can help you manage your expectations and make more self-honoring choices. The "good" moments don't necessarily mean someone has fundamentally changed—and the painful moments don't necessarily mean every good moment was fake. Sometimes peace comes from accepting what a relationship actually is rather than continuing to fight for what you wish it could become. Potential isn't the same thing as reality. How to Deepen the Work Learn more about narcissistic traits and emotionally unhealthy relationship patterns so you can better understand what may—and may not—be possible in the relationship. Ask yourself whether you're speaking because it's important for your own integrity or because you're hoping to finally make the other person understand. If repair is necessary, consider what you can genuinely take responsibility for without apologizing for something that would feel like self-betrayal. Notice when you're tempted to overexplain, defend yourself, or prove your perspective. Grieve the idealized version of the parent or relationship you hoped you could have. Redirect energy away from trying to change someone and toward relationships where accountability, empathy, and mutual effort are possible. Ask yourself: "What do I need to choose for my own peace?" Resources Mentioned in This Episode Be the Queen Christine and her husband are opening the doors to Be the Queen again in April. The program is designed for women who want to call in healthy, soul-aligned partnership and stop unconsciously attracting relationships based on patterns from their past. Join the early-bird notification list for special pricing and additional resources: Learn more about Be the Queen Coaches Corner with Rebecca Zung Christine references her previous conversation with Rebecca Zung about narcissism and navigating relationships with high-conflict people. She recommends revisiting this episode for additional insight into why defending yourself may become an exhausting and unproductive use of your energy in certain relational dynamics. Listen to Christine's Coaches Corner with Rebecca Zung Dr. Ramani Christine also recommends exploring the work of Dr. Ramani Durvasula for additional education about narcissism, narcissistic traits, and narcissistic relationships. Social Media + Resources Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts including Coaches Corner Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler Facebook — Christine Hassler Instagram — @ChristineHassler Instagram — @SacredUnionCouples Apply to be coached on the show Courses, retreats, and more resources

What if you're saying exactly what you mean—but somehow you're still not getting the connection you want? In this insightful coaching session, Christine works with Gaby, a self-described direct communicator who has become increasingly disappointed by the way friends and family respond when she tries to address hurt feelings or problems in their relationships. After becoming a mother, Gaby found herself less willing to tolerate behaviors that didn't feel good to her. She began speaking up more clearly, expecting that honesty would open the door to deeper conversations and stronger relationships. Instead, many of the people closest to her seemed to retreat, become defensive, or avoid the conversation altogether. That leaves Gaby wondering: If I'm the common denominator, am I the problem? Christine offers a different perspective. Gaby's directness isn't necessarily the problem—but the order of her communication may be getting in the way of what she actually wants: connection. Together, they explore emotional validation, vulnerability, defensiveness, motherhood, inner child healing, and the difference between communicating what's true and communicating it in a way another person can actually receive. Christine introduces a simple but powerful framework: connection first. Connect before you correct. Connect before you ask. Connect before you collaborate. If you've ever thought, "But I'm just being honest," only to have someone become defensive or shut down, this conversation will help you understand why—and give you practical language for approaching difficult conversations differently. Press play to learn how adding vulnerability, curiosity, and connection to your directness can help you communicate your needs without abandoning your truth. Consider / Ask Yourself Do you pride yourself on being direct but often find that other people become defensive? When you're hurt, are you communicating because you want connection—or because you want the other person to understand what they did wrong? Did you grow up feeling emotionally validated, seen, and supported when someone hurt you? Are you offering solutions when the person in front of you may simply want to be heard? Are you asking the right people to meet your emotional needs—or going to the proverbial "Chinese restaurant when you want nachos"? Key Insights and A-Ha's Being direct doesn't automatically create connection. Sometimes what we want more than a solution is simply to feel seen. A lifetime of not feeling emotionally validated can make being understood feel especially important in adult relationships. Directness without enough vulnerability or curiosity can unintentionally activate defensiveness. The phrases "The story I'm making up in my head is..." and "What I'm making that mean is..." can help create personal responsibility while lowering another person's defensiveness. Connecting before correcting, asking, or collaborating can completely change the tone of a difficult conversation. Part of inner child healing is learning how to communicate as an adult in ways that make it more likely our needs will be met. Even excellent communication can't guarantee someone will meet you emotionally. Discernment about who is capable of giving you what you need still matters. How to Deepen the Work Before an important conversation, ask yourself: "How can I connect with this person first?" Experiment with replacing accusations or conclusions with curiosity: "The story I'm making up in my head is..." When someone shares a struggle with you, pause before offering a solution and consider whether they may simply need validation. Notice whether anger or hurt is leading your communication. Give those feelings a healthy place to be expressed before entering the conversation. Practice taking responsibility for your side of the communication without taking responsibility for the other person's response. Remember Christine's framework: connection first, connection first, connection first. Resources Mentioned in This Episode One-on-One Coaching with Christine Christine has opened a few additional spots in her private coaching practice for people who want individualized support, validation, and transformational coaching. Learn more and apply at: christinehassler.com/coaching Featured Sponsor: Peluva Barefoot Shoes Christine shares why she loves Peluva, a five-toe minimalist shoe designed to provide a barefoot-style experience while still offering cushioning for everyday movement, fitness, and athletic activities. Its individual five-toe articulation allows each toe to move separately and supports more natural foot movement. Use code CHRISTINE for 10% off your first pair. Shop Peluva through Christine's link Social Media + Resources Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts including Coaches Corner Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler Facebook — Christine Hassler Instagram — @ChristineHassler Instagram — @SacredUnionCouples Apply to be coached on the show: christinehassler.com/waitlist Courses, retreats, and more resources: christinehassler.com

What if receiving love and support feels almost as uncomfortable as the pain you're already carrying? In this deeply compassionate coaching session, Christine works with Maryam, an Iranian woman living in Norway who is struggling with grief, fear, and guilt as she witnesses tremendous suffering in her homeland while her family remains in Iran. At the same time, Maryam has built a beautiful life with a loving husband who consistently shows up for her. He listens, comforts her, walks with her, and gives her space to grieve. Yet instead of simply receiving his support, Maryam often finds herself apologizing for needing it. Underneath that guilt is a powerful question: If people I love are suffering, is it okay for me to feel safe, supported, and loved? Christine helps Maryam explore how trauma can condition the nervous system to expect chaos and suffering—making safety and love feel unfamiliar when they finally arrive. Sometimes, without realizing it, we may even add guilt to positive experiences as a way of recalibrating back toward what feels familiar. Together, they explore collective grief, survivor's guilt, highly sensitive nervous systems, receiving in relationships, and the difference between compassionately witnessing suffering and believing you must suffer alongside someone in order to love them. If you've ever felt guilty for having something another person doesn't, struggled to receive help without apologizing, or believed that your own happiness somehow minimizes someone else's pain, this conversation offers a powerful invitation to choose differently. Press play to discover why your suffering doesn't relieve someone else's—and how allowing yourself to receive love may actually give you greater capacity to offer love in return. Consider / Ask Yourself Do you feel guilty receiving support when other people are struggling? Is it easier for you to care for others than to allow someone to care for you? Do you unconsciously believe that suffering alongside someone proves how much you love them? When something good enters your life, do you find yourself waiting for something bad to happen or creating additional worry? Can you allow yourself to experience safety and love even when suffering exists elsewhere? Key Insights and A-Ha's Compassion for another person's suffering doesn't require adding unnecessary suffering to your own life. Trauma can orient the nervous system toward chaos, making love, safety, and support feel unfamiliar. Guilt can become a way of limiting how much goodness we're willing to receive. Receiving support doesn't make you less compassionate, committed, or connected to the people you care about. Rejecting support can also prevent someone you love from experiencing the gift and purpose of supporting you. Your suffering does not automatically lessen someone else's suffering. Receiving love can expand your capacity to give love. Sometimes healing means allowing your nervous system to recalibrate to safety instead of continually tethering itself to pain. How to Deepen the Work When you notice yourself apologizing for needing support, try replacing "I'm sorry" with "Thank you," "I love you," or "I'm grateful you're here with me." Notice what happens in your body when someone offers you love, comfort, or support without asking for anything in return. Remind yourself that it is safe to receive—even when other parts of your life or the world feel uncertain. Ask yourself whether your suffering is actually helping the situation you're concerned about. Give yourself permission to step away from collective pain at times and return to the reality of your own present moment. Practice receiving support without immediately feeling obligated to reciprocate it. Resources Mentioned in This Episode Featured Sponsor: Peluva Barefoot Shoes Christine shares more about Peluva, a five-toe minimalist shoe featuring five-toe articulation, which gives each toe its own space and supports more natural movement while walking or running. Use code CHRISTINE for 10% off your first pair. Shop Peluva through Christine's link Social Media + Resources Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts including Coaches Corner Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler Facebook — Christine Hassler Instagram — @ChristineHassler Instagram — @SacredUnionCouples Apply to be coached on the show: christinehassler.com/waitlist Courses, retreats, and more resources: christinehassler.com

What happens when loving the people in your life starts to feel like being responsible for keeping everyone okay? In this deeply compassionate coaching session, Christine works with Jessica, who is navigating several major transitions at once: the end of a 10-year relationship with her best friend and business partner, building her own creative career, and watching her mother rapidly decline from Alzheimer's at a young age. As the oldest of four siblings, Jessica has spent much of her life carrying a strong sense of responsibility and loyalty toward the people she loves. When someone is hurting, her instinct is to step in, protect them, fix the problem, or even put her own life on hold to make sure they're okay. But that way of loving has become exhausting. Christine helps Jessica recognize the difference between holding space for someone and trying to protect them from pain. What Jessica has understood as love and compassion is sometimes an old survival pattern—one that tells her she can only feel safe when everyone around her is okay. Together, they explore over-responsibility, codependency, boundaries, grief, nervous system regulation, and the enormous amount of energy we can lose worrying about situations we simply cannot control. If you've ever been the strong one, the caretaker, the oldest daughter, the empath, or the person everyone depends on, this episode will help you recognize where love may have become tangled with worry, guilt, fear, and responsibility. Press play to discover how to love people deeply without carrying their pain—and how reclaiming that energy can help you finally have more capacity for your own life. Consider / Ask Yourself Do you feel responsible for making sure the people you love are okay? When someone you care about is suffering, do you immediately feel compelled to fix or rescue them? Have you confused worrying about someone with loving them? Are you spending so much energy managing other people's feelings that you have little left for your own needs? Can you allow someone you love to experience pain without believing it's your responsibility to make it better? Key Insights and A-Ha's Holding space for someone is not the same as protecting them from pain. Over-responsibility can become an identity and survival pattern, especially when it begins early in life. Love can become unconsciously paired with worry, caretaking, fear, and control. Worry can create the illusion that we're doing something when we're facing a situation we cannot control. Constantly putting yourself in someone else's shoes can cause you to carry suffering that may not actually be yours. When we focus primarily on other people's discomfort, we can lose touch with our own grief and needs. Trying to fix everything may provide short-term relief but can lead to long-term exhaustion and burnout. Healthy boundaries aren't about becoming cold or disconnected—they allow love and truth to exist together. How to Deepen the Work When you feel the urge to rescue someone, pause and notice what is happening in your body before taking action. Remind yourself: "Someone I love is going through something I cannot control." When an old caretaking pattern activates, meet it with compassion instead of criticizing yourself for falling into it again. Practice giving the people you love the dignity of experiencing and moving through their own feelings. Pay attention to the "energy leaks" created by worry, guilt, overthinking, and trying to control what isn't yours to control. Ask yourself what you need emotionally before automatically turning your attention toward everyone else. Resources Mentioned in This Episode One-on-One Coaching with Christine Christine has opened additional space in her calendar for private one-on-one coaching. She shares her continued passion for individualized coaching and supporting people through major transitions, healing, and personal growth. Learn more about Christine's process and apply at: christinehassler.com/coaching Featured Sponsor: Peluva Barefoot Shoes Christine shares more about Peluva, a five-toe minimalist shoe featuring five-toe articulation, allowing each toe to move independently and supporting more natural foot movement while walking or running. Use code CHRISTINE for 10% off your first pair. Shop Peluva through Christine's link Social Media + Resources Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts including Coaches Corner Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler Facebook — Christine Hassler Instagram — @ChristineHassler Instagram — @SacredUnionCouples Apply to be coached on the show: christinehassler.com/waitlist Courses, retreats, and more resources: christinehassler.com

How often do you mistake the story in your head for the truth? In this deeply insightful coaching session, Christine works with Shannon, who has spent much of her life feeling like she's waiting for people to leave her. Growing up with a mother struggling with severe mental illness and a father who was absent for most of her life due to incarceration, Shannon learned to survive by becoming hypervigilant. Now, as an adult, those same survival strategies show up in her closest relationships. A small comment from her partner becomes evidence that he's leaving. A text message that goes unanswered becomes proof she's being rejected. A misunderstanding quickly spirals into a painful story about not being enough. Together, Christine and Shannon explore anxious attachment, abandonment wounds, childhood survival strategies, and one of the most powerful communication tools you can use to interrupt emotional spirals before they damage your relationships. Christine reminds us that message sent is not always message received—and that many of the stories we create during moments of fear have far more to do with our past than with what's actually happening in the present. If you've ever caught yourself assuming the worst, overthinking someone's words, or convincing yourself that people are pulling away without real evidence, this episode will help you slow down, seek clarity, and respond from your adult self instead of your wounded inner child. Press play to learn how changing one simple phrase can transform your relationships—and your peace of mind. Consider / Ask Yourself Do you often assume the worst when someone says or does something unexpected? Are you making decisions based on facts—or on stories your fear is creating? Do you struggle to know whether you're truly being hurt or simply being triggered? What would change if you asked for clarity instead of making assumptions? Key Insights and A-Ha's Childhood abandonment wounds can create hypervigilance in adult relationships. Survival strategies that once protected you may now be creating distance from the people you love. Triggers often distort reality, causing us to assign meaning that was never intended. Vulnerability creates connection; assumptions create isolation. Healthy relationships require clarification—not mind reading. How to Deepen the Work Practice using the phrases: "The story I'm making up in my head is..." and "What I'm making this mean is..."before reacting. Notice when your nervous system jumps to worst-case scenarios and pause before taking action. Give trusted people the opportunity to clarify their intentions before assuming rejection. Remember that seeking clarification is an act of self-advocacy, not weakness. Resources Mentioned in This Episode One-on-One Coaching with Christine Christine shares that she's opening additional one-on-one coaching spots, returning to what she calls "the basics"—real human connection, personalized guidance, and transformational coaching. To learn more, email: [email protected] Featured Sponsor: Peluva Barefoot Shoes Christine shares why she loves Peluva, a five-toe minimalist shoe designed to support natural foot movement, strengthen the feet, and provide all-day comfort. Use code CHRISTINE for 10% off your first pair. Shop Peluva through Christine's link Social Media + Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler @ChristineHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Email: [email protected] — For information on any of my services! Get on the waitlist to be coached on the show! Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches!