The Terri Cole Show

Why do we keep repeating the same relationship patterns, even when we know better? In this episode, bestselling author Sabrina Zohar joins me to unpack why we confuse chemistry with compatibility, how childhood wounds shape our relationships, and what it really takes to break the cycle. Get the full show notes at terricole.com/872

I sit down with John R. Miles, host of the Passion Struck podcast and author of The Mattering Effect: Creating a Life of Meaning and Worth, to explore what it truly means to feel valued and know that we matter. We discuss how the science of mattering can help us find greater meaning, create more balance, build reciprocal relationships, and develop a deeper sense of belonging and connection in both our personal and professional lives. Get the full show notes at terricole.com/870

The relationship you had with your father may be influencing your career, earning potential, and financial confidence in ways you have never considered. In this episode, I explore the connection between father wounds, authority figures, and money, helping you recognize how early family dynamics can continue to shape your relationship with success and financial security. Uncover the patterns operating beneath the surface so you can begin untangling what may be holding you back. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/868

The coping strategies you developed as a child were brilliant and necessary at the time, but they may now be quietly controlling your adult life in ways you have never examined. In this episode, I walk you through six powerful childhood adaptation archetypes, helping you identify which patterns are keeping you isolated, exhausted, or disconnected from what you truly want. This is an invitation to bring the unconscious into the light so you can finally make different choices. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/866

Are you the one who handles everything for all the people? Are you the fixer? The one who rarely needs or asks for help? Are you the one who does all the things for all the people? Be honest with yourself. If so, you may have a father wound that is hiding in plain sight — because the very capability you have keeps this unhealed wound hidden. That is exactly what this episode is about: why the father wound can be especially hard to recognize in high functioning women, how high functioning codependency can keep you stuck in patterns of self-abandonment, and why how you feel and what you want matters as much as what you accomplish. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/864

Having an unhealed father wound impacts your ability to create emotional safety in your relationships. If you grew up in a house where emotional safety was not part of your relationship with your father, calm can feel weird or unfamiliar, and vulnerability can feel risky. Trusting another person to be there for you, if that wasn't your experience, may feel counterintuitive. In this episode, we're exploring how father wounds impact our ability to feel safe in relationships, why calm can feel so unfamiliar, and what emotional safety can look like as we heal. We may have learned to protect ourselves through high-functioning codependency, hyper-vigilance, or hyper-independence. These strategies made sense at the time, but they can keep us from the safety we actually want now. From The Episode: A father wound is a worthiness wound. We may have learned in childhood that we weren't good enough as we were. Without emotional safety from our fathers, we find other ways to protect ourselves: high-functioning codependency, hyper-vigilance, or hyper-independence. When your system is more familiar with hypervigilance than with safety, you may be drawn to relationships that are familiar but not necessarily good. We repeat what we do not repair. If you're not attracting someone who's calm and securely attached, we may need to heal the wound first. Emotional safety is the felt sense that you can be yourself and still belong. You can have needs, say no, and make mistakes without being punished or rejected. I wrote a whole book on father wounds to help you understand how they show up in your relationships, your sense of safety, your self-worth, and the way you give and receive love. If you're ready to start healing those patterns at the root, preorder your copy today. Plus, when you preorder now at https://fatherwoundbook.com, you'll get a free 3-hour virtual healing retreat.

If setting a boundary feels like you're risking the whole relationship, your unhealed father wound might be why. When the person who was supposed to protect you didn't, you can grow up without the sense that you're even allowed to say no. In this episode, I'm walking through how the father wound shapes your boundaries, the different father archetypes and the specific boundary struggles each one creates, and why so many of us never learned we were allowed to protect ourselves in the first place. Whether your father was absent, critical, emotionally distant, abusive, unreliable, narcissistic, passive, or played favorites, those wounds can make certain boundaries especially difficult. It often comes back to the same things: learning to protect yourself, honoring your needs, and being able to disappoint other people without abandoning yourself. The best part of healing your father wound is that you don't have to keep going along to get along anymore. Not sure if your father wound is affecting your boundaries? Get the journal prompts from this episode to uncover how your father wound may still be shaping your boundaries, relationships, and ability to say no. terricole.com/860 KEY TAKEAWAYS If your father didn't protect you, you may have learned you weren't worth protecting. That belief shapes your boundaries in adulthood. Different father archetypes create different boundary struggles: absent fathers make saying no feel like abandonment, critical fathers make you fear getting it wrong, narcissistic fathers teach you that your needs don't matter. Pleasing, being compliant, achieving to belong — these are the opposite of having healthy boundaries. They kept you safe as a child, but they're not serving you now. You'll never build the life you want if it's built on self-abandonment. You don't need your father's permission or participation to heal your father wound. This work is for you. I wrote an entire book to walk you through this work. Pre-order Father Wound and get access to a free 3-hour virtual retreat with me. fatherwoundbook.com

Let's say you have a rough interaction with someone, a disappointing outcome, or you get bad news–what do you do to help yourself feel better? Do you have a couple of drinks? Maybe smoke a little weed? Or eat a tub of ice cream? No judgment here, but I want to invite you to think about it because many of us confuse self-numbing with self-soothing. In this episode, you'll learn my favorite self-soothing tips, healthy ways to support your nervous system and emotional wellbeing, plus how to create your own self-soothing and stress relief toolkit. Learning how to effectively self-soothe can be life-changing! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/396

Do you find that you attach unusually quickly to people, whether in friendships or romantic relationships? Do you stay in relationships that you know are bad for you because the thought of being alone scares you more than staying in a bad relationship? Or do you repeatedly find yourself in relationships with unavailable people? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might have abandonment issues. In this episode, I'm helping you recognize the signs of abandonment issues in adult relationships and reviewing the most common causes of chronic fear of abandonment. Find the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/374

Anxiety doesn't always look like fear — sometimes it looks like control, perfectionism, people pleasing, and doing everything "right." In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, I explore the types of anxiety that often hide beneath high-functioning behaviors, codependency, and the struggle to set healthy boundaries. I sit down with anxiety expert Noelle McWard Akino to explain how anxiety can show up as catastrophizing, control, and distorted beliefs about ourselves. We talk about why high-functioning anxiety can look like success, how overthinking keeps us stuck, and why trying to control everything may actually be a sign that we don't feel safe. Understanding your types of anxiety can help you recognize your patterns, create healthier boundaries, and learn how to respond differently instead of being driven by fear. If you struggle with people pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, self-doubt, or feeling responsible for everyone and everything, this conversation will help you understand the deeper roots of anxiety and begin your emotional healing journey. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/854

ADHD nervous system regulation may be the missing piece behind ADHD paralysis, overwhelm, and executive dysfunction. What if many ADHD symptoms aren't just ADHD—but signs of a nervous system stuck in fight or flight? In this episode, I sit down with therapist and ADHD expert Jenna Free to explore a different way of understanding adult ADHD. We discuss why ADHD nervous system regulation can be more effective than relying on productivity hacks alone, how chronic fight-or-flight impacts executive functioning, and why slowing down—not pushing harder—may actually help you get more done. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/852

Conflict resolution isn't about avoiding arguments—it's about learning how to repair them. In this conversation, I explore why couples keep having the same fight, how attachment styles affect relationships, and why emotional regulation matters even more than communication when conflict arises. If you've ever wondered why arguments keep repeating or how to repair after an argument without feeling misunderstood, this episode is for you. We discuss conflict resolution strategies for couples, childhood wounds, relationship conflict, emotional healing, and the hidden patterns that shape healthy relationships. You'll also learn why most fights aren't really about the dishes, the chores, or the words being said—they're about deeper emotional needs and unresolved core wounds. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/850