The Terri Cole Show

Let's say you have a rough interaction with someone, a disappointing outcome, or you get bad news–what do you do to help yourself feel better? Do you have a couple of drinks? Maybe smoke a little weed? Or eat a tub of ice cream? No judgment here, but I want to invite you to think about it because many of us confuse self-numbing with self-soothing. In this episode, you'll learn my favorite self-soothing tips, healthy ways to support your nervous system and emotional wellbeing, plus how to create your own self-soothing and stress relief toolkit. Learning how to effectively self-soothe can be life-changing! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/396

Are you a nice person? Do you think it's possible to be too nice? Or that wanting to be nice is an excuse some high-functioning codependents hide behind to avoid conflict? In my personal and professional experience, it is possible to be too nice, and it's not great for your relationships. In this episode, we'll explore what it means to be nice, what being too nice looks like, why it matters, and how to shift your behavior to authentic niceness. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/714

When you're upset with someone about something, do you: Say nothing, but silently keep score? Talk to other people about it? Ice the person out? Send them a passive-aggressive or sarcastic text? If any of those rang a bell, you are not alone which is why in this week's episode, I'm breaking down the top 10 indicators that you might be suppressing and/or unconsciously repressing your anger. Raising your awareness around when you might be acting out feelings of frustration or anger is the first step to expressing yourself in a healthier way. I promise you, learning these skills will improve all of your relationships, including the one you have with yourself. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/354

Stop falling into the anxious-avoidant attachment trap. In this episode, learn how to build a healthy relationship and experience corrective love. Today, I'm sitting down for a deeply personal, raw, and honest conversation with my longtime friend John Kim (aka The Angry Therapist) to discuss his brand new book, Love Hard on Purpose: Toss the Blueprints, Build Something Honest. We are stripping away the fairytale narratives and diving into what it actually takes to build a secure relationship from scratch. John opens up about his heavy heart following a recent relationship rupture, how losing his home in the Altadena fires completely transformed his identity, and his own realization about childhood mother wounds and shadow addictions. I also share my own journey healing a father wound and breaking free from high-functioning codependency. Whether you are single on purpose or trying to navigate a long-term partnership, this episode will show you how to move past the trauma breakers and rewire your body to accept a calm, healthy, and deeply intimate love. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/838

"It's fine." "I got it." "Don't worry about me." "I'll figure it out." If you say one of these without thinking, several times a day, this episode is for you. These are the phrases that keep us stuck in high-functioning codependent behavior, and they sound generous. But there is an invisibility to what we are doing, and a cost. These automatic behaviors are a nervous system response, habituated over years. As high-functioning codependents (HFCs), we react before we think, the moment a problem comes up. Learning to pause is the intervention. That moment before you say I got it is where the work happens, because on autopilot it is hard to change what comes out of your mouth. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/835

Do you know what you need? Not what your kids need, or what your partner needs, or what your team at work needs. What you need. In my therapy practice, when I ask high-functioning women what they need for the coming week, many of them either freeze or hand me a list of responsibilities. Things they have to get done. These things are not the same thing. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/833

For the past six months, people have been asking me to do an episode on managing anxiety. We are living in genuinely anxious times, and the real things to be anxious about are not in short supply. So here it is. For me, anxiety feels like unease. Like I am forgetting something. Like something is wrong, even when I cannot point to what it is. I have noticed a clear uptick in clients describing this lately, too. Difficulty sleeping, intrusive thoughts, a body that cannot relax, the sense of panic gathering. This is anxiety that interferes with daily life and makes it difficult, or even impossible, to do the things we want to do. If this is you, you are not alone, and there are things that help. Read the show notes for today's episode terricole.com/831

Most little girls grow up being cared for by their mothers. Some little girls grow up caring for their mothers. This episode is for the second group. We are talking about parentified daughters. What it means, why it happens, and how it may still be impacting your life now. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/829