LOVERS by Shan

Sabrina Zohar has built a career helping people see the patterns they learned before they could name them, and in this conversation she turns that lens on her own twenties. At 24, she met a 36-year-old man three blocks from her apartment who opened her up sexually in ways nobody had before. It was also where she learned what self-abandonment looks like: saying yes to things (including his one condition for a relationship) because she liked him. She tells Shan about the trench coat in the rain story, and the night her mom said "this isn't you." Then she gets to the first date with her partner Ryan, when she told him she'd rather never hear from him again than be kept casual. Thanks to Article for sponsoring this podcast! Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit ARTICLE.COM/LOVERS and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. Follow Sabrina Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/  TikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar  YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSKQduzS78E6-I9tx0jqjpw  The Sabrina Zohar Show → https://www.instagram.com/thesabrinazoharshow/  Why Am I Like This? → https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/2335639/sabrina-zohar  Website → https://sabrinazohar.com  Want more LOVERS? Receive Lovers Letters → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter  Join the LOVERS Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community  Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm answering your comments on Via G's episode. Via G is a New Orleans creator (yes, the baby bangs) who spent her twenties moving from one 18-month relationship to the next, and the last one looked perfect on paper: he cooked, he could match her financially, and he carried the fatherly energy of a man who already knew how everything should be done. Her body figured it out before she did. Her cycle unraveled over the year they were together, and not long after she ended it (20 minutes and six seconds, start to finish) her hormone test came back with perfect scores. Via walks Shan through the slow disappearing act in between (the gray sweatpants, the running commentary on how she cut onions, a moment of coercion she didn't have language for until a friend named it), and then the year of saying yes to herself that followed: cutting her own bangs on camera, walking into pool parties alone to make girlfriends, and buying the Bronco she'd been talked out of. Shan offers a frame for why "daddy knows best" can feel like love when you grew up without one. This one is for anyone who has shrunk to fit someone and is ready to be loud again. Follow Via G Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mylifeasvia/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@_mylifeasvia_ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MyLifeAsVia X: https://x.com/mylifeasvia All links: https://link.me/mylifeasvia Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get free Lovers Letters from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm answering your comments on Kendrick Sampson choosing freedom over romance, and you did not agree. When Kendrick Sampson (the actor you know from Insecure and How to Get Away with Murder, and the activist behind BLD PWR) sat down with me and said he cares about freedom more than romance, I had a feeling some of you would feel seen and some of you would feel personally called out, and the comments landed right down the middle. [One side heard someone finally say out loud that romantic love is only one kind of love worth building a life around, while the other side heard something that felt like permission to never fully choose anyone. CONFIRM against actual comments.] In this first episode of If It Don't Apply, Let It Fly, I'm reading the comments that split you and responding to them honestly, [including the ones that shifted how I think about the conversation and the ones I'm holding my ground on. CONFIRM against what Shan actually says]. If you walked away from Kendrick's episode feeling defensive, inspired, or stuck somewhere uncomfortable in between, this is for you, because the disagreement is where the real conversation was happening. Follow Kendrick Sampson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendrick38 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kendrick BLD PWR: https://bldpwr.com Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan on Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes ________________________ Advertising & Other Inquiries: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every couple of years, after a stretch that tested us, Jared and I climb onto the roof in the same outfit and talk honestly about what it did to our relationship. We did it in 2022 and again in 2024, and the second time a lot of people watched two exhausted parents be imperfect and decided that was the verdict on the whole thing. We're doing it anyway, because the hard years reach your love life whether you film it or not. This summer the kids were home for six weeks, the business didn't pause, several of my longest relationships shifted at once, and somewhere in there we had our worst argument in six years. It looked like it was about one day. It was actually about neither of us having the room to feel anything, and what happens when one person finally does. Jared explains why he didn't come over and hold me (an honest answer, not a flattering one), I explain why a voucher I printed him for exactly this moment stayed in his closet, and we get into how sex has changed as the kids have gotten older, including the 25-minute challenge he almost survived. This is a conversation about staying kind to the person closest to you when you have nothing left. If you've ever been graded on your worst week, this one is for you. _________ Thanks to Article for sponsoring this podcast! Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit ARTICLE.COM/LOVERS and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. My pickiest eaters have no complaints on this one! Explore my Hungryroot Digital Cookbook "Recipes My Kids Will Actually Finish (No Bribery Required)." at https://hungryroot.com/LOVERS Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com/shan to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. Stay hydrated every single day with Ultima Replenisher: Head to https://ultima.yt.link/cIC3aOP and use the code LOVERSBYSHAN20 for 20% off your order! _______ Follow Jared Brady Instagram: http://instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady YouTube: youtube.com/@enjoyovereverything  Want more LOVERS? Follow Shan Instagram → http://instagram.com/shanboodram Get a free weekly Love Letter from Shan → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices