Self Care Club - The Midlife Edition

Why is saying no so hard for women in midlife? Your kids, your partner, your parents, your friends, your work and the school WhatsApp all want a piece of you — and because you're so capable, everyone assumes you'll say yes. This week on Self Care Club: The Midlife Edition, Nicole Goodman and Lauren Mishcon talk about why saying no might be one of the most important forms of self-care in your 40s and 50s — and how to actually do it without guilt. In this episode: Why women are conditioned to people-please — and why midlife is the moment to stop "What you tolerate, you allow": how being capable makes people assume you'll do everything The joy of JOMO — why you don't have to go to everything anymore Why a genuine no is kinder than a fake, resentful yes The simple pause that stops the automatic yes Every no is a yes to something else You don't need an excuse — how to say no honestly and briefly Saying no to the request, not the person Curating your friendships and letting other people be disappointed Where to start if you really struggle with setting boundaries If you've ever got to Friday night completely exhausted from a week of things you didn't want to do, this one's for you. Join The Midlife Club on Substack for exclusive extras and everything we mention on the show: substack.com/@themidlifeclub Read our book, Have You Tried This? by Nicole Goodman and Lauren Mishcon. Self Care Club: The Midlife Edition is a British Podcast Award-winning show about midlife, menopause, wellbeing and self-care for women in their 40s and 50s. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review and share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Get in touch with us: Email us: [email protected] Instagram @selfcareclubpod  Try AG1 now at https://drinkag1.com/selfcare and get £20 off your first order + 5 AG1 Travel Packs for on the go, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, and the Welcome Kit for FREE. No risk with the 30- day money-back guarantee.  Find all details about the health benefits in the link. Study results are on file with AG1, 2023. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is sponsored by Welbeck – providing beyond better healthcare. On today’s show we’re talking about something that affects millions of women but that we still find surprisingly difficult to talk about: our bladders. Urinary incontinence, recurrent UTIs, pelvic floor problems and prolapse are incredibly common, particularly as women move through their 40s, perimenopause and menopause. But how much of it is actually "normal", how much should we put up with, and when should we get help? This week we are joined by Miss Neha Sihra, Consultant Urological Surgeon, to answer the questions women are often too embarrassed to ask. We talk about why childbirth, perimenopause and menopause can change your bladder, whether low oestrogen can cause urinary symptoms even without vaginal dryness, and whether needing to wee more frequently or waking up several times a night is simply part of getting older. We get into urinary incontinence, including stress incontinence and overactive bladder, why women leak when they laugh, sneeze, run or jump, and what treatments are actually available. Then it's time for UTIs. Why do some women suddenly start getting recurrent infections in midlife? How can you tell the difference between a UTI, overactive bladder and menopause-related urinary symptoms? Can you have UTI symptoms without actually having an infection? And does cranberry really help? We also tackle pelvic floor health and prolapse. What does a prolapse actually feel like? Can you have one without knowing? Does running, lifting weights or playing sports make it worse? And what's the difference between a weak pelvic floor and one that's actually too tight? Finally, Neha explains which bladder and urinary symptoms women should get checked rather than simply putting them down to ageing or menopause, and the symptoms she wishes women would stop ignoring. If you've ever crossed your legs before sneezing, planned your day around toilet locations, had a UTI at the most inconvenient possible moment or wondered whether that sudden need to wee every five minutes is "just your age", this one's for you. In this episode we discuss: Women's bladder health Urinary incontinence and menopause Stress incontinence Overactive bladder Recurrent UTIs UTIs and perimenopause Vaginal oestrogen and urinary symptoms HRT and bladder health Pelvic floor problems Pelvic organ prolapse Bladder problems and sex Exercise and urinary incontinence When to see a urologist Which urinary symptoms should be checked by a doctor Find Neha Sihra here: https://welbeck.com/find-a-specialist/miss-neha-sihra Please note: Self Care Club is not medical advice. If you have symptoms or concerns about your bladder, urinary health or pelvic floor, speak to a qualified healthcare professional. Get in touch with us: Email us: [email protected] Instagram @selfcareclubpod  Try AG1 now at https://drinkag1.com/selfcare and get £20 off your first order + 5 AG1 Travel Packs for on the go, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, and the Welcome Kit for FREE. No risk with the 30- day money-back guarantee.  Find all details about the health benefits in the link. Study results are on file with AG1, 2023. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ever heard us mention a pair of jeans, a hair product or a recipe in passing and wished you'd written it down? That's exactly why we've started The Midlife Club on Substack. It's our home for everything behind the episodes: the products, recipes, clothes and bits and pieces we chat about on the show, all in one place, plus extra content you won't hear anywhere else. Come and join us: https://substack.com/@themidlifeclub See you in the club x Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the midlife confidence crisis isn't about losing confidence; but about outgrowing what used to create it? In today’s episode Lauren and Nicole unpack why confidence feels harder to access in your 40s and 50s, even when nothing's "wrong." They break confidence down into six areas: identity, capability, body image, desirability, agency, and belonging and do a confidence audit asking the questions most women never stop to ask themselves. In this episode we discuss: Why the confidence markers that worked in your 20s and 30s stop working in midlife The link between perimenopause symptoms (brain fog, fatigue, poor sleep) and feeling "less capable" Body image and attractiveness in midlife -  what actually changes Why confidence often comes after action, not before it Rebuilding friendships and finding "your people" in midlife How evidence, not perfection, builds real confidence If you've ever felt like you don't recognize yourself lately, this episode is for you. Get in touch with us: Email us: [email protected] Instagram @selfcareclubpod  Try AG1 now at https://drinkag1.com/selfcare and get £20 off your first order + 5 AG1 Travel Packs for on the go, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, and the Welcome Kit for FREE. No risk with the 30- day money-back guarantee.  Find all details about the health benefits in the link. Study results are on file with AG1, 2023. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Advertisement⏐Try AG1 now at http://drinkag1.com/selfcare and get £20off your first order + 5 AG1 Travel Packs for on the go, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, and the Welcome Kit for FREE. No risk with the 30-day money-back guarantee. Find all details about the health benefits in the link. Study results are on file with AG1, 2023 This episode is sponsored by Welbeck - providing beyond better healthcare. Why does sleep seem to get so much harder in midlife? From waking at 3am and being unable to get back to sleep, to lying awake with a racing mind, insomnia is one of the most common and frustrating symptoms women experience during the menopausal transition. In this episode of Self Care Club - The Midlife Edition, we’re talking all things sleep, insomnia and menopause with Professor Guy Leschziner, Consultant Neurologist at Welbeck and Guy’s Hospital and St Thomas’ Hospital. We explore what’s really happening to our brains and bodies during menopause, the difference between poor sleep and clinical insomnia, and why you can spend eight hours in bed and still wake up feeling exhausted. We also get into brain fog, sleep trackers, caffeine, screens and blue light, snoring, HRT and the lifestyle changes that can genuinely make a difference. We discuss: The 2 biggest mistakes people make when trying to improve their insomnia  Why we shouldn’t be mean to snoring husbands  Why Sleep trackers can be harmful The importance of aking at the same time every day  If you’re struggling with sleep in midlife, this is one you won’t want to miss. Get in touch with us: Email us: [email protected] Instagram @selfcareclubpod Find Professor Guy Leschziner Professor Guy Leschziner at Welbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is sponsored by Welbeck – Providing Beyond Better HealthcareWhy does recovery feel harder in midlife? Why do aches, pains, tendon problems and injuries seem to appear out of nowhere in your 40s and beyond? And are all those recovery trends actually worth your time and money? In this episode, Lauren & Nicole are joined by Dr Lorenzo Masci, Sports and Exercise Medicine Physician at Welbeck Orthopaedics, to unpack the science behind exercise, recovery, ageing and injury prevention. Drawing on his extensive experience working with elite athletes, professional sports teams and everyday patients, Lorenzo explains why hormones, stress, sleep and lifestyle can have such a profound impact on how our bodies feel and recover. In This Episode We Discuss: The difference between normal muscle soreness and a true injury How perimenopause and hormonal changes affect tendons, joints and recovery The role of walking and why it may be one of the most underrated forms of exercise The best types of exercise for women in midlife The most overlooked recovery tools that cost nothing How sleep impacts injury risk, recovery and performance Lorenzo's take on cold plunges and infrared saunas To get in touch with Lorenzo go to: https://welbeck.com/find-a-specialist/dr-lorenzo-masciIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate and review the podcast. We are doing a live show! July 5th 4pm London. Book your tickets here: https://podlifeevents.com/event-details/40ish-live-show-5-jul-2026-ticketsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/self-care-club--6942824/support.Get in touch & come follow us on:Instagram Tiktok thttps://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcastJoin our private Facebook groupOrder our book hereBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/40ish-navigating-midlife-and-perimenopause--6942825/support?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rssStudio production by @launchpodstudiosMusic by purpleplanet. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is sponsored by Welbeck – providing beyond better healthcare.Skin cancer is the most common cancer in the UK and worldwide, yet around 90% of cases are preventable. So how can we better protect ourselves, what sun safety habits actually matter, and what warning signs should we never ignore?This week we are joined by Consultant Dermatologist Dr Ellie Rashid to break down the facts about skin cancer prevention, SPF, tanning, mole checks, and the everyday habits that can reduce your risk. In this episode we discuss:• Whether there’s ever such a thing as a “safe tan”• If you really need SPF on cloudy days• The difference between SPF 30 and SPF 50• Expensive vs affordable sunscreen brands• How often you should reapply SPF• Skin cancer risks for all skin tones• The ABCDE rule for checking moles• Warning signs that are often missed• The role of AI, mole mapping, and early detection• What happens when you see a dermatologist with a concern…and the one habit Dr Rashid wishes everyone would start today.Whether you’re a devoted sun-seeker, a year-round SPF wearer, or somewhere in between, this episode is packed with practical advice that could genuinely protect your health.Come join us at the Everywoman Festival on June 13th https://www.everywomanfest.com/To book an appointment with Dr Rashid: https://welbeck.com/find-a-specialist/dr-ellie-rashidFor more information: https://www.skincancer.org/get-involved/skin-cancer-awareness-month/https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/skin-cancerBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/self-care-club--6942824/support.Get in touch & come follow us on:Instagram Tiktok thttps://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcastJoin our private Facebook groupOrder our book hereBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/40ish-navigating-midlife-and-perimenopause--6942825/support?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rssStudio production by @launchpodstudiosMusic by purpleplanet. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week on 40ish Lauren reaches peak midlife as she attends an wholesome Ottolenghi Cooking Club; yet somehow gets embroiled in a conversation about anal s*x within 3 minutes of arrival. Meanwhile Nicole realises that you know when you’re spending too much time with your gyne when he feels fully comfortable eating crisps off your plate. In midlife news it turns out almost half of middle-aged Brits are still traumatised by school PE - not surprising if you remember being asked to climb that rope in a pair of big navy pants. We hear from listeners navigating menopause in toxic workplaces, sharing the very real fear of education being weaponised, but also why the conversation still has to happen. Today’s dilemma asks: Is it actually possible to lose weight in your 40s? Despite doing “all the right things” (gym, PT, food), social media is screaming that unless you buy a miracle pill, it’s game over. We get into the pressure, the myths, and the reality of midlife bodies.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/self-care-club--6942824/support.Get in touch & come follow us on:Instagram Tiktok thttps://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcastJoin our private Facebook groupOrder our book hereBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/40ish-navigating-midlife-and-perimenopause--6942825/support?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rssStudio production by @launchpodstudiosMusic by purpleplanet. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices