The Divorce and Beyond® Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq.

Susan Guthrie has been a divorce attorney and mediator for 35 years and she thinks that in almost all cases, your first hire in divorce should be a coach. This episode explains why. How do you find the right divorce coach for you? The popularity of divorce coaching has grown enormously, and with so many kinds of coaches out there, it can be hard to know what a divorce coach actually does or how to find the right one. People hear the word coach and think of life coaches, athletic coaches, business coaches, and divorce coaching gets lumped in with all of them. This episode clears that up and answers the questions many people need early in the divorce process. Susan is joined by Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak, the founders of The Divorce Coaches Academy, who train and support divorce coaches and are themselves practicing coaches, mediators, and Susan's colleagues in the dispute resolution field. They explain what a divorce coach really is, a flexible, goal-oriented process recognized by the American Bar Association as a form of alternative dispute resolution, designed to support and guide people through both the business side and the emotional management of divorce. Together they walk through how to find a coach who fits, what questions to ask on a complimentary discovery call, why training and certification matter in a field with no national standards, and how the right coach can save a client both time and money. Susan makes the case she has made before, that a divorce coach is an essential member of your team and often the best place to start, because the choice can shape who you hire next. Episode 2 of 8 in the Divorce & Beyond Summer Essentials Series This summer, Divorce & Beyond brings back 8 the episodes listeners reach for most, the conversations with the clearest, most practical guidance for anyone thinking about, going through, or rebuilding after divorce. New Essentials air every other Monday all summer. Follow the show so you never miss one. The series starts here. What You'll Learn What a divorce coach actually is, and why the American Bar Association recognizes divorce coaching as a form of alternative dispute resolution Why finding a coach before an attorney can change who you hire and how your whole divorce unfolds How to tell if a coach is the right fit, from credentials and training to the complimentary discovery call What to ask about a coach's process, programs, pricing, and how they work before you commit Why training and certification matter in a field with no national standards, and what it means to coach from your scar and not from your wound About Our Guests: Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak Debra and Tracy are both committed to the profession of divorce coaching and the process of alternative dispute resolution. They are both CDC Certified Divorce Coaches®, authors, educators, and founding members of Divorce Coaches Academy, an online education platform that provides continuing education for practicing, professional divorce coaches. Tracy is a Florida Supreme Court Certified Mediator, serves as the Manager of the Mentor and Peer Coaching Programs for the CDC Certified Divorce Coach® certifying body, and has built her practice and reputation as an alternative dispute resolution specialist and conflict expert over the past 13 years. Get Tracy's book: Divorce: Taking the High Road: Simple Strategies for Creating a Healthy Divorce, Tracy Callahan contributor and reach out to her at www.mediatingmatters.com Debra is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Ohio Supreme Court trained Family Court Mediator, and Betrayal Trauma Specialist. Get Debra's book: High Conflict Divorce for Women and reach out to her at www.debradoak.com For More Information on Tracy, Debra and The Divorce Coaches Academy: Website: https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/ Email: dca@divorcecoachesacademy Social Media Handles IG: @divorcecoachesacademyFB: @divorcecoachesacademyLI: divorce-coaches-academyTwitter

Dating again in midlife can stir up a mix of curiosity, hope, and very real hesitation. After divorce, it’s not just about meeting someone new, it’s about trusting your instincts and believing that love can feel different this time. Susan Guthrie welcomes back one of Divorce & Beyond’s most trusted and favorite guests, Bela Gandhi, for an honest, encouraging conversation about what it truly takes to move from fear to confidence when dating again in midlife. Known as America’s go-to dating coach and beloved by the Divorce & Beyond community, Bela brings warmth, optimism, and refreshingly practical wisdom to a chapter that often feels overwhelming. Together, Susan and Bela unpack why midlife dating can actually be better than ever, how to stop repeating old patterns that no longer serve you, and what smart, intentional dating looks like when you’re choosing differently and more consciously this time around. What You’ll Learn Why fear around dating after divorce is normal How those “rollercoaster butterflies” are usually a sign of anxiety, not chemistry, and how to recognize calm as a healthier sign of compatibility How dating today offers more options, visibility, and agency than ever before, especially for midlife daters Why confidence in dating comes from having a clear plan, not luck, timing, or instant sparks How slowing down and allowing connection to develop over time leads to better long-term outcomes About the Guest Bela Gandhi is a dating/relationship expert, TEDx speaker, founder of Smart Dating AcademyÒ and has been featured on most national/local media outlets including Good Morning America, Steve Harvey, the Today Show, Kelly Clarkson, Access, ABC, NBC, Fox, and more. Bela realized her gift for love when she was in college and started matchmaking and coaching her friends – watching them sail on to relationship bliss and marriage. Using her own system, Bela found her own amazing husband of over 20 years, and in 2009, founded Smart Dating AcademyÒ. Smart Dating Academy teaches singles all over the globe the Smart DatingÒ four phase system – 1) Preparing to Date, 2) Dating, 3) Exclusivity and 4) Happily Ever After. They specialize in VIP 1:1 coaching, and with clients that have followed their system, they’ve had ‘zero divorces.’ They help singles to ‘fix their pickers’ because their coaches are deep in the weeds with clients, helping read profiles, message, and rate each date after it happens – she makes dating fun, easy and successful! Before starting Smart Dating Academy, Bela earned dual degrees in Finance and German from the University of Illinois in Urbana/Champaign. Bela worked in mergers and acquisitions for Arthur Andersen in Chicago for a year before joining her family's chemicals manufacturing company (called CCC), where she divided her time between Chicago and Europe helping to expand the business. When they sold the business to Fortune 500 company Akzo Nobel, she was asked to remain its leader and became Akzo Nobel Non-Stick Coating’s Global Vice President of Housewares. While climbing the corporate ladder, she realized it was time to unveil her system to the world, and it was her best decision ever. Bela lives in Lincoln Park with her husband Andy and 2 children, Jaden and Max, and is going to be an empty nester next year! Connect with Bela Gandhi Website: http://smartdatingacademy.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy Podcast: https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/podcast The Midlife Dating Mindset Reset Guide Download Make the Most of Your Listening Experience: If this episode resonates with you, be sure to: Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share this episode with friends or loved ones who need hope and healing. Leave a 5-star review to help us reach even more listeners. Follow Us Online: Divorce & Beyond: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com, IG: @divorceandbeyondpod Meet Our Host Susan E. Guthrie®, Esq. is one o

It was never about the dishes…It’s about mental load, invisible labor, and power inside modern marriage. To dig into why so many women feel this strain inside their marriages, Susan Guthrie is joined by Kate Anthony, a globally recognized divorce coach, feminist thought leader, and the author of The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage. Kate is also the creator and host of the top-ranked Divorce Survival Guide Podcast. Together, Susan and Kate talk candidly about how deeply ingrained expectations still shape modern relationships, often in ways people don’t recognize until the damage is done. They explore why patriarchy harms women while also isolating men, what real partnership actually looks like in practice, and how patterns like deflection, denial, and quietly erode trust over time. The conversation also addresses the very real impact these dynamics have on women’s emotional and physical safety, and why naming them clearly can be a powerful first step toward change. What You’ll Learn How mental load becomes a proxy for deeper issues of power, responsibility, and respect How patriarchy shapes modern marriage in ways that harm women while also isolating men and fueling resentment What real partnership looks like in practice and why occasional help is not the same as shared ownership What it often means when one partner says they were “blindsided” by divorce and how invisible labor plays a role Why naming these dynamics clearly can be a critical first step toward safety, clarity, and meaningful change About the Guest Kate Anthony is a feminist thought leader, divorce coach, and author of The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage. As the host of The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast (3.5M+ downloads; globally ranked in the top 0.5%), Kate brings fierce clarity and grounded compassion to conversations about coercive control, codependency, and the complex dynamics that shape women’s relationships and choices. For well over a decade, Kate has guided women through the emotional and practical challenges of deciding whether to stay or leave their marriages, helping them rebuild self-trust, navigate high-conflict partners, and dismantle patriarchal conditioning. Her work blends feminist analysis, relational insight, and practical communication tools that empower women to make safe, self-led decisions. Kate is also developing a groundbreaking project exploring true crime as women’s survival literature, illuminating the coercive control patterns and systemic failures embedded in headline cases. Connect with Kate Anthony Website: http://kateanthony.com Instagram: @kateanthony_divorcecoach Make the Most of Your Listening Experience: If this episode resonates with you, be sure to: Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share this episode with friends or loved ones who need hope and healing. Leave a 5-star review to help us reach even more listeners. Follow Us Online: Divorce & Beyond: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com, IG: @divorceandbeyondpod Meet Our Host Susan E. Guthrie®, Esq. is one of the nation’s leading family law and mediation experts, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals and families navigate divorce and conflict with clarity and compassion. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker, trainer, and practice-building consultant. Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast, where she shared her insights on gray divorce and the changing landscape of relationships. Her expertise has also been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC’s Chicago Today, among many others. As the creator and host of the award-winning Divorce & Beyond® Podcast, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 3.4 million downloads, Susan brings together top experts and p

You signed the divorce agreement. You thought it was over. But for many people, the real problems begin after the ink dries, when they discover that what they negotiated is not actually enforceable. In this essential episode of Divorce & Beyond, Susan Guthrie is joined by Kelly Lise Murray, a nationally recognized legal scholar whose work focuses on what happens when divorce settlements fall apart in real life, particularly in cases involving homes, mortgages, retirement assets, and complex property divisions. This conversation is especially important during divorce season, when many listeners are early in the process and assuming that reaching agreement automatically means protection. It does not. What You’ll Learn Why a signed divorce agreement does not guarantee you will receive what you were promised How enforcement failures leave people owed money or assets they never receive Why homes and retirement accounts are the highest-risk areas in divorce settlements How missing deadlines and contingencies quietly undermine agreements The questions you should ask your lawyer before signing anything About the Guest Prof. Kelly Murray, J.D. is a legal scholar, former law professor, and serial entrepreneur advancing Realty Asset Dispute Resolution nationwide. She earned her undergraduate degree Phi Beta Kappa from Stanford University and her law degree cum laude from Harvard Law School, and served for 18 years as faculty at a Top 20 U.S. law school. Kelly is the Lead Investigator and Faculty Member for the National Family Court Project on Housing and Financial Justice, where her work focuses on preserving homeownership eligibility and financial stability in family disputes, including divorce, trusts, elder law, and probate matters. Her expertise is grounded in real litigated cases involving enforcement failures, not theory. She is also the host of the Wealth Litigated Podcast. Blog Article + Free Resource To help you go deeper, Susan has written a companion blog article for this episode: 📝 Blog Article:The Most Dangerous Words in Divorce: “We’ll Handle That Later”This article explains why enforcement issues are so often overlooked and how seemingly reasonable agreements fail when enforcement is not planned from the start. 📄 Free Resource from Kelly Lise Murray:Kelly has created a free enforcement resource to help consumers understand what to ask and what to watch for when negotiating divorce agreements. Get the resource here: Beyond.DivorceThisHouse.com 🔗 Enforce the Divorce:https://EnforceTheDivorce.com 👉 You’ll find links to both the blog article and the free resource in the show notes and on the latest episode page at divorceandbeyondpod.com/latest-episode. Additional Resources Mentioned Divorce Real Estate & Mortgage Specialists (RCS-D Directory):https://divorcethishouse.com/member-directory-rcs-ds-divorce-real-estate-specialists/ Continuing Education for Lawyers & Financial Professionals:https://vettingthehouse.com/ Connect with Kelly Lise Murray LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kellylisemurray/ Instagram: @kellylisemurray Final Thought If you cannot enforce the agreement you signed, you may not receive what you negotiated. This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating divorce, mediation, or settlement discussions. 🎧 Listen now, and review the blog article and free resource before you sign anything. ===================== Make the Most of Your Listening Experience: If this episode resonates with you, be sure to: Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share this episode with friends or loved ones who need hope and healing. Leave a 5-star review to help us reach even more listeners. Follow Us Online: Divorce & Beyond: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com, IG: @divorceandbeyondpod Meet Our Host Susan E. Guthrie®, Esq. is one of the nation’s leading family law and mediation experts, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals

It is the quiet week between Christmas and New Year’s. The guests have gone home, the adrenaline has worn off, and you are likely left with a heavy realization: The holidays didn’t fix it. If you are currently Googling "how to get a divorce" or secretly looking up attorneys while your spouse is in the other room, you are not alone. Next Monday, January 5th, is known in the legal industry as "Divorce Day," where inquiries skyrocket by 25%. But before you make a call that you cannot unmake, Susan Guthrie has a message for you: Stop. Just breathe. In this urgent and deeply practical solo episode, Susan reveals why the "smartest people" wait until March to file, and exactly what they do in January instead. Drawing on 35 years of practice, she breaks down the "Broken Promise" theory, the danger of the "New Year's Resolution Bomb," and why urgency is the enemy of a good divorce. If you are feeling the pressure to act, this episode is your permission slip to pause, plan, and protect your future before you ever step foot in a courtroom. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WILL LEARN: The "Broken Promise" Theory: Why the holidays amplify marital cracks rather than fixing them. The January vs. March Strategy: Why amateurs rush to file in January, while strategists use the month for "vetting and verification". The 3 Critical Questions: What you must ask yourself before you hire a professional (hint: do you know the "business reality" of your marriage?). The "First Responder" Rule: Why your first call should almost never be to a lawyer—and who you should call instead. The Financial Reality Check: The sobering statistic about the 41% drop in household income for women post-divorce and how to prevent it. Mistakes to Avoid: Why hiring a "shark" out of fear is the fastest way to burn through $30,000+. FEATURED RESOURCES & DOWNLOADS: FREE DOWNLOAD: The "January Strategy Calendar" Don't spin your wheels this month. Susan has created a free 4-week "Pre-Season" planner to help you audit your emotions, gather financial documents, and vet professionals before you file. 👉 Download the January Strategy Calendar Here NEW BLOG ARTICLE: "Why the Smartest People Wait Until March to File" Dive deeper into the strategy behind waiting and learn the specific steps to take right now to prepare for a better outcome. 👉 Read the Full Article Here MENTIONED EPISODES: "Divorce Triage" with Susan Guthrie: Learn more about selecting the right "First Responder" for your specific crisis. https://divorcebeyond.com/divorce-triage "We Need to Talk" with Kate Anthony: The ultimate guide to having the "I want a divorce" conversation without blowing up your life. https://divorcebeyond.com/The-Talk ********************************************* Make the Most of Your Listening Experience: If this episode resonates with you, be sure to: Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share this episode with friends or loved ones who need hope and healing. Leave a 5-star review to help us reach even more listeners. Follow Us Online: Divorce & Beyond: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com, IG: @divorceandbeyondpod Meet Our Host Susan E. Guthrie®, Esq. is one of the nation’s leading family law and mediation experts, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals and families navigate divorce and conflict with clarity and compassion. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker, trainer, and practice-building consultant. Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast, where she shared her insights on gray divorce and the changing landscape of relationships. Her expertise has also been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC’s Chicago Today, among many others. As the creator and host of the award-winning Divorce & Beyond® Podcast, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwi