The Vibe With Ky Podcast

You don't have to earn rest. The calm you keep chasing is not something you arrive at after enough effort. It is already in you, and something else is in the way.Most of us were taught the opposite. Push harder, optimize more, stay disciplined enough, and eventually you get to relax. Brea Segger has spent over twenty years working with leaders, entrepreneurs, and high achievers, and she says that framing is the trap itself.Brea is an embodiment guide, not a therapist or a licensed clinician. Her background is unusual: she started in international business development and mergers and acquisitions before spending more than a decade running a holistic medicine institute in Canada. She knows the high achiever world from the inside, which is part of why this conversation goes where it does.In this episode she takes apart the language her own field runs on, including the phrase she has nearly removed from her own website because it turned into another rule book. She makes the case that suppressing your emotions was protective rather than a failure, and that the little kid who learned to push things down was doing exactly what kept them safe. She puts the high achiever and the person in active addiction on the same continuum, and explains why that framing removes shame rather than adding it. And she describes self-trust as something you already have and forgot, not something you build from nothing.I told her about a long stretch where I could not tell the difference between rest and guilt, where sitting still felt like I was failing at something. Her answer reframed the whole thing for me.Then I asked where a person should actually start. Her answer took about four seconds: lie down for five minutes and do nothing. Not meditate. Not fix anything. Just be there. So I asked the follow-up I knew some of you were thinking, which is how you get back up once you are down there.CONNECT WITH BREA SEGGERHer website and newsletter:https://www.breasegger.com/Her podcast, Beneath The Story:https://www.breasegger.com/beneath-the-story-podcastShe also has a retreat coming up called The Embodied Woman Mastery Retreat, six days in Costa Rica this November, for women, capped at eight people. Full details are on her website.Kyrus Keenan Westcott is a content creator and mental health advocate, not a licensed mental health professional. This podcast is for education and entertainment and is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment. Guests speak from their own experience and expertise; their views are their own.Much love. Good vibes. - Ky

There is a version of rest that never arrives. You will relax once the list is done, except the list is never done. Gary Ware has a name for that, and it is not laziness.He calls it living on a proving ground. It is what happens when play drains out of a life. The people around you stop being people you enjoy and start being competition, and work turns into something you have to earn by proving you are worthy of it. Plenty of us have lived that way so long we stopped noticing it was a way of living at all.Gary Ware is the founder of Breakthrough Play. He is a facilitator, a keynote speaker, a coach, and the author of Playful Rebellion: Maximize Workplace Success Through The Power of Play. He is not a clinician. What he works with is applied improv, practical tools, and his own experience.He was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia at twenty six, after six straight hours of testing, and he has said that day was the worst day of his life. That is not how anybody tells you a diagnosis is supposed to feel.We get into the night he nearly fell asleep at the wheel driving home from an agency job, and what made him pull over. We get into the company that quietly took the word fun out of its stated values and replaced it with excellence, and how nobody ever said out loud what was being given up. People just stopped going to lunch.And we get into what actually helps. Taking a play history. The one question that opens it up. A five minute move you can make this week that costs nothing and asks nobody's permission.Gary also flipped the microphone around and asked me his own questions. That part is not in the public episode. It lives in the Subscriber Hub.CONNECT WITH GARYWebsite: https://www.breakthroughplay.comWANT MORE?Join the ADHD Vibers Subscriber Hub on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thevibewithkyOr on Facebook Subscriptions: https://www.facebook.com/thevibewithky/subscribe/The Real Ones tier is five dollars a month. It includes the ADHD Deep Dive Library and Reverse the Mic, where guests interview me. Both are subscriber-exclusive and neither is on the public feed.Ky is a mental health advocate speaking from lived experience. He is not a clinician, and this content is not medical advice.Much love. Good vibes. - Ky

A man came in from three hours of surfing and asked his partner if she was angry at him. She said no. Why would I be angry? You love surfing. He only asked because the woman he dated before her used to yell at him every single time he went.That story stopped Ky cold, and it is the heart of this conversation.A lot of us were trained to read somebody needing space as the beginning of the end. Your partner goes quiet. They want a night alone. And your brain has already written the breakup speech.Simone Milasas is an author and a relationship facilitator from Australia. She co-wrote Relationship. Are You Sure You Want One?, wrote Joy of Business and Getting Out of Debt Joyfully, and hosts The Choice, Change & Action Podcast. She has spent years in rooms full of people asking her how to fix their relationships, and her answer is almost never the one they showed up for.Her position is that relationships do not fail from bad communication. They fail from needs, expectations, and projections nobody ever said out loud.Ky and Simone get into the five elements of intimacy, trust, honor, allowance, vulnerability and gratitude, and why you have to give all five to yourself before you can hand them to anyone else. They talk about the myth of "the one" and how it keeps people stuck. A concept she teaches called creationship. Why she keeps a second bathroom on purpose. And the money conversation she used to book a restaurant table for four to have.The line that keeps sitting with Ky: when she needs an hour alone, it is not against him, it is for her.Heads up, there is some language in this one.MORE FROM SIMONE MILASASHer podcast, The Choice, Change & Action Podcast:https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/the-choice-change-action-podcast/id1512950259Her website:https://www.simonemilasas.com/aboutWANT MORE?Everything lives at TheVibeWithKy.com. The blog, the newsletter, the store, and every other episode.https://thevibewithky.com/For the deeper stuff, join the ADHD Vibers Subscriber Hub on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/thevibewithkyOr on Facebook Subscriptions:https://www.facebook.com/thevibewithky/subscribe/The Real Ones tier is five dollars a month. You get the ADHD Deep Dive Library and Reverse the Mic, a subscriber-only segment where guests flip it around and interview Ky. Neither one shows up in the public feed.Ky is not a doctor or a licensed mental health professional. Nothing here replaces working with one.Much love. Good vibes. - Ky