The Best of You

Why do certain situations overwhelm you while someone you love seems completely unaffected? In this episode, Dr. Alison explores one of the most important questions we ask about ourselves: Why am I the way I am? Using the image of a seed planted in soil, she explains how your God-given wiring, childhood environment, sensitivity, and nervous system all work together to shape the person you are today. This conversation offers a compassionate framework for understanding yourself—and the people you love—in an honest, empowering way. (You’ll want to share this episode with your loved ones!) You’ll learn: Why your brain is like a plant How childhood shapes your mental and emotional health The difference between your wiring and your wounding The research behind “orchid children” and “dandelion children” How different kinds of “soil” shape your nervous system, relationships, resilience, and sense of safety Why highly sensitive people may struggle more in hard environments—and thrive more in healthy ones Why healing begins when you understand both the seed you were given and the soil that shaped you This episode will help you see your story—and your loved ones—with more clarity, compassion, and hope. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 143: Reparenting Your Younger Self—How to Stop Seeking Approval From Others & Find Inner Security Episode 22: How to Build Trust with Yourself 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Mark 9:43–47**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**What do you do when you keep returning to the same behavior—the one that offers relief in the moment but leaves you feeling ashamed, disconnected, or farther from love? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Jesus’ intense words in Mark 9:43–47 and reframes them not as an invitation to self-hatred, but as a call to radical honesty and freedom. We explore: *How to break a bad habit without getting trapped in shame*Why patterns like numbing, resentment, control, people-pleasing, comparison, or fantasy can pull us away from love*How compulsive behaviors shape your nervous system, desires, and relationships*Why willpower alone usually isn’t enough to change a deeply patterned behavior*How creating distance from triggers can become a wise spiritual practice Go Deeper:Episode 197: A deep dive with Dr. Joel Al on spiritual warfare and personal responsibility Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 4:26–27 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Anger can be confusing—especially if you were taught it was bad, dangerous, or unspiritual. But Scripture gives us a more nuanced path: anger itself is not automatically sin, but it does need care.Today’s episode looks at Ephesians 4 and the difference between anger as a signal and anger as a force that can harm when left untended. We explore: *Why anger is a mobilizing emotion *Why “do not let the sun go down” should not be used to force premature reconciliation *How to slow your body down before anger takes over *What it means to practice honesty without harm Go Deeper: Episode 83: How to Turn Anger, Sadness, and Fear Into Powerful Allies Episode 44: Why Anger Can Become a Surprising Friend Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Numbers 11:10–17There is a kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling responsible for too many people, emotions, needs, and outcomes. Today’s episode looks at Moses’ honest breaking point in Numbers 11 and the mercy of God’s response. God does not shame Moses for being overwhelmed. He gives him support. *The hidden exhaustion of over-responsibility*Why capable people often struggle to receive help*How survival strategies become burnout*Why limits are not a failure of love*The mercy of shared burden Go Deeper: Take the Family Roles quiz Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 121:1–8 When life feels uncertain, your nervous system may start scanning for safety—looking for reassurance, protection, or some solid place to land. In today’s reflection on Psalm 121, Dr. Alison Cook explores how God meets us in that vulnerable place as the One who watches over our coming and going. We explore: *Why your nervous system scans for safety *How hypervigilance develops *Why “God watches over you” may take time to feel true in your body *How dwelling on scripture can slowly retrain your soul toward safety Go Deeper: Get my Masterclass "Healing the Wounds that Shape Us" when you preorder The Secure Soul Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the dry, weary place you’re in isn’t something to escape—but a place where God is working? So many of us know that quiet middle space: you’re not in crisis, but you’re not exactly flourishing either. You’re tired, spiritually dry, disconnected, or simply going through the motions. It’s not dramatic enough to call a breakdown, but something in you knows you’re weary. In this episode, Dr. Alison and author/priest Tish Harrison Warren explore what grows in these weary places—and why seasons of spiritual dryness, burnout, and languishing aren’t signs that something is wrong with you. They may be part of how God forms you. Together, they talk about aridity, resilience, stability, and what it means to stay present to the life you actually have instead of constantly looking for a way out. You’ll discover: Why spiritual dryness doesn’t mean you’re failing The difference between depression, burnout, and languishing What the desert fathers and mothers can teach us about resilience Why “staying in your cell” can become a path of formation How ordinary repair, routines, and relationships shape us over time What it means to let where you are do its work How hope changes the way we endure hard seasons This conversation offers a counter-cultural invitation: you don’t have to rush out of the weary place. There may be something growing there. More Resources: 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠ Order What Grows in Weary Lands - out this week! You can preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 159: Spiritual Drowning, Honest Questions, and a God Who Doesn’t Let Go with Heather Thompson Day Episode 176: Dr. Stephen Macchia on Intimacy with God in a Noisy World Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 7:37–39 Have you ever wanted to bring something real into the light—but felt afraid of being judged? In today’s episode, we look at the woman in Luke 7 who walks into a room full of people who already think they know her story and brings her whole self to the feet of Jesus. This passage shows us the difference between shame that keeps us hiding and the kind of love that helps us come close. We’ll explore: *Why shame thrives in secrecy *Why people judge & how it affects both the person judging & others *The corrective emotional experience of dignity, compassion, and love found in Jesus Go Deeper: Episode 23: Am I Wounded or am I Sinful? Read the first 3 Chapters of my new book The Secure Soul, when you preorder Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices